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Old 09-02-2009, 02:44 PM   #1
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Default Yikes.

so i've definitely been MIA from this site (and my diet..) lately... and boy does it show!!! not only have i stopped losing weight, but i'm pretty sure i've put some on. i've been living in denial for the last few months and didn't think it would catch up to me. BUT IT DID. i just saw the first "full body" picture of myself about 5 mins ago. i've been hiding from the camera for awhile but sometimes people have captured the occasional "face shot". but my aunt managed to get a shot of me and emailed it to me. psh.... like i wanted to see that. i bawled for a minute, then almost threw up, and now decided to just do something about it. i can b!tch and moan all i want, but it's time to make a change. i've been on and off the wagon so many times i'm frankly sick of it.

my best friend just hit her goal of 103 pounds lost in a year! i'm trying to very hard to be happy for her (she is AMAZING!) but i'm admittedly a little jealous. when she started the weight loss i was right on track with her. i guess she just had more will power. but now it's my turn. i want to brag like she gets to! i want to donate all my "fat clothes" like she gets to. i want to feel like i finally did something good for myself.

even my hands have gotten fat. who knew that was possible?!!? i've never been self conscious of my hands. or my neck. or my feet. and they're all fat now. i'm scared to even step on the scale at this point. but..... i must..... so i'm sorry this got long. but if i didn't let this all out i was going to explode into a puddle of fat goo on my floor. ...... heading to the scale....... wish me luck...... (wish i wouldn't have just eaten that bowl of cheesy rice.... yikes.)
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Old 09-02-2009, 02:53 PM   #2
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Welcome back and good luck on your new journey. We have all failed at some point (I have been around 195 for the last two months and boy is it frustrating/disheartening).

But at least you're back and that's all that matters!
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Old 09-02-2009, 02:56 PM   #3
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::hugs::

it WILL be alright-just keep your focus and remember we're right here with you holding your hand the whole way-i know i need that, if hand holding doesnt work for you-then we're kicking your butt to the finish line! good luck honey-cant wait to read about your success
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Old 09-02-2009, 03:02 PM   #4
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Just remember that yesterday doesn't tell you anything about tomorrow. Good luck!
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Old 09-02-2009, 03:06 PM   #5
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Aw hugs to you, and welcome back. Don't worry about your loss of motivation. We all have those moments. We just have to pick ourselves up and keep pushing forward.

Let your friends success be your motivation to get to goal. I would take as an indication that it can be done. Look to her for inspiration and keep coming here for further insite and motivation.

I have found a wealth of information and support here.

Good luck on your new journey
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Old 09-02-2009, 04:46 PM   #6
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If that photo your aunt sent you motivates you to change, then she did you a real kindness. Congratulations on rededicating yourself TO yourself!
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Old 09-02-2009, 04:49 PM   #7
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Old 09-02-2009, 04:56 PM   #8
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Welcome back and good luck with your goals. You can do this
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Old 09-02-2009, 05:33 PM   #9
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Never worry about a post being too long. That's what we're here for!

The past does not determine your future. No how, no way.

Have you a plan? One of the best things I did in the beginning (once I decided something HAD to be done) was take a week (you could take two or a month, whatever works) and focused on "getting ready."

Seriously. I started drinking my water, and then I just started making better food choices. An apple, say, instead of a handful of taco chips. The best (and therefore smaller) bit of chocolate I could afford than a whole family bar of just whatever was on sale--that sort of thing. (I was literally eating one of those a day. While I "got ready" I'd have a piece or two of my favourite and then let "the family" eat the rest.)

Meanwhile, I read some books on nutrition, re-read some old "diet" books I had on hand and figured out how I wanted to eat--with a nod to eating this way forever. I think that's why when I didn't eat strictly "on plan" last month, I still lost a few pounds.

So, take your time. Give yourself permission to figure this out, long-term, and start, say, walking around the block. Recording what you eat is a good start, too.

And, please, don't be hard on yourself--because those feelings of self-loathing and whatever--they are a part of what is keeping you fat. Giving that up will be a kindness to yourself.

And we all need more kindness.
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Old 09-02-2009, 05:45 PM   #10
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Welcome back and best of luck to you!
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Old 09-02-2009, 07:20 PM   #11
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Welcome back! Don't dwell on what you didn't do- focus on what you can do in the future. We will all be here to cheer you on!!
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Old 09-02-2009, 07:37 PM   #12
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Welcome back! And don't beat yourself up cuz you haven't done anything that the rest of us havent done too. What's important right now is to figure out a plan that works for you. Are you recording what you eat on one of the cool sites that figure out the calories for you? I am using the daily plate and it really helps me walk away from those bad foods. Go ahead and weigh yourself because then you will be able to measure your progress but then dont let that number tell you how to think about yourself. Its just a number. Good luck!
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Old 09-02-2009, 07:41 PM   #13
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You can't change the past, so no point worrying about what might have been. Go forward from today onward with your new healthy lifestyle.
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Old 09-02-2009, 09:02 PM   #14
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I've had plenty of setbacks on this road and it is all a learning experience. You are taking a great step by getting on the scale and recommitting to doing something positive for your health.
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Old 09-03-2009, 12:08 AM   #15
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hey annie, it's great that you're back. focus on your goal and take it one day at a time.

all best.
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