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Deserving to be healthy and happy

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Old 08-14-2009, 09:42 AM   #1
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Question Deserving to be healthy and happy

We talk often about how we deserve to be healthy and happy with ourselves, but is this always true? Do I deserve to be healthy and happy if I've previously done so much to mess up not only my own life but other people's too?
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Old 08-14-2009, 09:50 AM   #2
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Everyone has messed up their own life and probably someone else's. Does it help anyone for you to punish yourself by staying obese?

You do deserve to be healthy and happy. I think everyone except a select few do. The select few, in my mind, are the murderers and child molesters.

Even the old quote, "Love thy neighbor as thyself" implies that we should love ourselves.
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Old 08-14-2009, 10:23 AM   #3
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sure you do. I think most people, including myself, deal with self forgiveness for past transgressions. sometimes those transgressions have seemed a lot larger in my head than they've been in reality, and sometimes, I think they really have been large (not murderer or molester large, but some things I personally feel uncomfortable about having done).

I've also done tons of good things for people, and am not dead yet (can foresee myself contributing more in the future). Most likely I'll have more moments when I screw up too. We're humans, not saints.
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Old 08-14-2009, 10:31 AM   #4
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You deserve anything you truly work for.
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Old 08-14-2009, 10:41 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by Lori Bell View Post
You deserve anything you truly work for.
I agree 100%

If you are feeling guilty about what you messed up why not try to make a gesture to make it right or to show how much you are sorry what ever you did happened? The best thing you can do though is not make the same mistakes again and go on in a positive light.
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Old 08-14-2009, 11:27 AM   #6
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Everyone deserves to be happy and healthy.
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Old 08-14-2009, 11:57 AM   #7
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From the sounds of your post you are carrying a ton of guilt and bad feelings around. I think making amends, and FORGIVING yourself would be a start.

Yes I think you deserve to be healthy and happy. Completely.

*hugs*
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Old 08-14-2009, 11:59 AM   #8
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I don't know what you believe, but I believe my life should be about making the world a better place, that my life has purpose, and though I am not unique, I am uniquely human. In order to fulfill my purpose I must chose to be healthy and from there I believe happiness is a choice as well. My father says you put your attitude on with your shoes and effects the whole day.

Deserve to be? No one should live by entitlement, but by choice. I hope you chose to be healthy and happy.
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Old 08-14-2009, 12:03 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Judy Lynn View Post
Everyone deserves to be happy and healthy.
I agree!

We're all here to learn and grow together. I've beat myself over the head many times for things I've said or done,but Everyone is deserving of forgiveness and to be happy and healthy regardless of what they've said or done to another including themselves.

Something your question also struck for me is .....We "talk" about how we deserve to be happy and healthy. If we don't actually "believe" it or give ourselves constant reminds that we do. Then truly we aren't "living" as if we deserve to be happy and healthy.

The thoughts you focus on are so important

As Ghandi said: You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

I'd like to see a world where everyone loves one another unconditionally regardless of what they've said or done. When we judge ourselves or others we're living in the past instead of the NOW.
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Old 08-14-2009, 12:19 PM   #10
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I'm not sure about the word deserve. I think more in terms of reality and cause and effect. If we makes choices, they have consequences. Every moment, we have the opportunity to make new choices. But that doesn't wipe out the consequences of past choices. And I have problems with using the word "deserve" to describe what I "should" get after making "good" choices too. Because we can't control everything. If I don't get what I "deserve," either I didn't make as good a choice as I thought I did (and choices are complicated, you know, butterfly effect and all), or I'm trying to control something not in my control. I do better staying in the moment, making each choice as best I can without pinning my happiness on the outcome. My happiness has to depend on my choices (not the outcomes), because that's the only part I can control. Or at least, this is what I aspire too

To circle back more closely to your question, I think you "deserve," so to speak (without the punishment connotations), the consequences of your past choices, and you also deserve the consequences of each and every new better choice. Life is a sum of all of it.
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Old 08-14-2009, 03:44 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by JulieJ08 View Post
I'm not sure about the word deserve. I think more in terms of reality and cause and effect. If we makes choices, they have consequences. Every moment, we have the opportunity to make new choices. But that doesn't wipe out the consequences of past choices. And I have problems with using the word "deserve" to describe what I "should" get after making "good" choices too. Because we can't control everything. If I don't get what I "deserve," either I didn't make as good a choice as I thought I did (and choices are complicated, you know, butterfly effect an all), or I'm trying to control something not in my control. I do better staying in the moment, making each choice as best I can without pinning my happiness on the outcome. My happiness has to depend on my choices (not the outcomes), because that's the only part I can control. Or at least, this is what I aspire too

To circle back more closely to your question, I think you "deserve," so to speak (without the punishment connotations), the consequences of your past choices, and you also deserve the consequences of each and every new better choice. Life is a sum of all of it.
that's great.

My father says you put your attitude on with your shoes and effects the whole day.

good thing to keep in mind! and I love how he put it.
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Old 08-14-2009, 04:40 PM   #12
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A lot of fascinating opinions on this thread, I love to read where other people are coming from.

Deserve…well in my mind, there’s deserve as a karmic event then non-deserve as a non-karmic event.

If you buy into karma (not meaning reincarnation, but cause-and-effect in a literal sense), then, one would have to engage in some type of behavior/belief system in order to “deserve” an outcome. Ergo, living an unhealthy lifestyle would mean that, no, you don’t deserve to be healthy and happy. And vice versa.

However, if you opt to live outside the karmic boundaries, or no more than tangential to them, you can then live a life where, there’s no “deserve.” Of anything. Cause-and-effect cease to exist. Sounds impossible right? It’s not, actually. It just takes a strong mind to live in that state. It’s possible to choose to step out of karma…if you believe you can.

I moved into this state last year, when I began this journey. If I looked back at my life as it was prior to this, and thought I deserved/didn’t deserve something because of past actions, then I’d still be 370 lbs, drunk, stoned, for all practical purposes—not really alive. All the dieting in the world ain’t gonna do a thing if I let myself remain trapped in a cycle of who did what to whom, who’d I hurt, who hurt me…I had to step outside of that. There may or may not be a larger karmic bond enveloping me…if so, I choose not to see it. Or participate in it.

So, in my humble opinion, deserve simply doesn’t exist anymore. YMMV.
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Old 08-14-2009, 11:05 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by DCHound View Post
A lot of fascinating opinions on this thread, I love to read where other people are coming from.

Deserve…well in my mind, there’s deserve as a karmic event then non-deserve as a non-karmic event.

If you buy into karma (not meaning reincarnation, but cause-and-effect in a literal sense), then, one would have to engage in some type of behavior/belief system in order to “deserve” an outcome. Ergo, living an unhealthy lifestyle would mean that, no, you don’t deserve to be healthy and happy. And vice versa.

However, if you opt to live outside the karmic boundaries, or no more than tangential to them, you can then live a life where, there’s no “deserve.” Of anything. Cause-and-effect cease to exist. Sounds impossible right? It’s not, actually. It just takes a strong mind to live in that state. It’s possible to choose to step out of karma…if you believe you can.

I moved into this state last year, when I began this journey. If I looked back at my life as it was prior to this, and thought I deserved/didn’t deserve something because of past actions, then I’d still be 370 lbs, drunk, stoned, for all practical purposes—not really alive. All the dieting in the world ain’t gonna do a thing if I let myself remain trapped in a cycle of who did what to whom, who’d I hurt, who hurt me…I had to step outside of that. There may or may not be a larger karmic bond enveloping me…if so, I choose not to see it. Or participate in it.

So, in my humble opinion, deserve simply doesn’t exist anymore. YMMV.


AMEN, sister...

The past doesn't exist, because it is history. History is a record of previous actions, but it doesn't exist. We can learn from it. But we can't LIVE it because it's done, over, gone...
The future doesn't exist, because it is fantasy. We don't know WHAT will happen. We know what we would LIKE to have happen, but we really don't know what is around the corner. Maybe the lottery! Maybe a bus in the wrong lane!! No one KNOWS. Now, you can do everything in your power to have a great "tomorrow" (planning, setting goals, networking and so on) but you really don't have any control over what tomorrow will REALLY bring.

ALL we have is RIGHT NOW. So why not make the best of it and live in the NOW? Make the best choices that you can for you RIGHT NOW. DECIDE to live your BEST life, because you can't have a redo of the past, and you don't know what you'll see tomorrow. And day by day, those best choices add up and will give you the best chance of a great future.

So to answer your question, do you "deserve" to be happy is perhaps not a reasonable thing to ask. I think some more important things for you to think about are "WHY am I choosing to be miserable right now? What good or purpose is that serving me? WHY am stopping myself from being the best that I can be right now because of the past, which I can't alter nor change? Why am I afraid of being my best right now?" Because you DO have a choice, you know...



Kira

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Old 08-14-2009, 11:15 PM   #14
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We talk often about how we deserve to be healthy and happy with ourselves, but is this always true? Do I deserve to be healthy and happy if I've previously done so much to mess up not only my own life but other people's too?
The answer to your questions is a resounding YES!! Here hon, this shirt is a gift from me to you. I want you to wear it well! (((Okay, print it out and post it on your mirror.))))

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