OK, I know I've been having a chippy week but still...
... you gorra laff:
went to the hairdresser yesterday.
She said wow! look at you! haven't you lost weight!
So far so good.
In the manner of hairdressers, she asked about my vacations, about The Silent Friend (she's been fascinated for years by this platonic relationship she can't get her head round, and is firmly convinced I should just yell 'you're gay' at him at lunch next week and I can't get my head round that because I've never thought of 'gay' as a dreadful insult)
So I told her the outline, it whiled away the time, then I told her I'd joined this online dating agency and was talking to a nice guy called Jack at the minute.
'Oh', she said. 'You'd better be careful he's not a feeder'
I had no idea what she was talking about.
'A feeder,' she said. 'I saw a documentary about it. They date fat women and make them fatter and fatter by feeding them so that they can take care of them.'
You got to love the unconscious insults!!!!!