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OT - seriously?!?!

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Old 07-16-2009, 10:42 PM   #1
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Default OT - seriously?!?!

I have been doing a lot of thinking about my weight lately, been working on exercising every day, eating better, but just generally feeling pretty crappy about myself. Not a good headspace. Anyways, today me and the bf went for a long walk, then we wandered around our neighbourhood, and for some reason we decided to have pizza for dinner. Probably not the best decision considering how I'm feeling, but we did it anyways... so here comes the GREATEST part, as we were walking into our apt, some stupid teenager yells "you don't need pizza, she's fat enough". That was my first time being yelled at for being fat. It feels pretty terrible, and makes me never want to leave my house again. Ugh. Not good. Why are people SO rude?? The bf is being supportive, saying the guys were saying it to him, and that he'll go hunt them down and kick their butt. Calling them punks in a granny car, who are too poor to know what they were saying... it's kind of cute. But still, I don't like that this happened!

So how do you just move on from that? How do you tune that out and keep going?

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Old 07-16-2009, 10:47 PM   #2
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Teens. Showing. Off.
Stupid TEENS. With their teen 'tudes...

You are on the right path. You are moving along. And just get that ol' determination going, you know "I'll SHOW them". Because stopping this journey because some idiot tees who were showing off would be self-destructive.

Time, hon...time...it'll get better.

I remember going for a bike ride at my heaviest, and I was SO proud of myself, and as I turned off the main road, some A$$ in a pickup truck leaned out the window and yelled "WHERE'S THE BIKE SEAT"....And he was old enough to know better...crushing, but look where I am now...

You'll get there...



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Old 07-16-2009, 10:52 PM   #3
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Well, that just sucks, no two ways about it. Unfortunately I have had comments yelled out of cars at me more than once. It hurts, but then I try not to dwell on it, recognize that those individuals are jerks who think it makes them look cool in front of their friends and fat people are an easy target. In my experience it is typically younger men, but I'm sure a lot of people think it, these guys just have the thoughtlessness to voice it and not care that it's a person with feelings who is their target.

I have no real advice to offer, beyond I've been there, and you just have to brush it off and not let them get to you. Karma's a b*, y'know?
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Old 07-16-2009, 10:54 PM   #4
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Something very similar happend to me a couple of days ago. Instead of being really upset I got really angry. (I posted about it in another thread, but I've copied here).

"Something happened yesterday that I want to share. After joining the gym I was walking home, feeling happy about myself, (Yay for me making healthy lifestyle chages etc etc) when a teenage boy rides past on his bike & screams "get out the way ya fat sh*t!". Now normally when something like that happens I go home & cry into a packet of corn chips, not this time.
I came back with a "Get off the footpath, ya f****wit".

I'm classy like that."

I guess my point is we have ALL decided to make positive healthy changes to our lives & NOBODY has the right to disrespect us like that. Don't let it get to you Swimgirl. There are alot of jerks out there, but there are way more people (esp here) that think you are fabulous for starting the weightloss journey.
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Old 07-16-2009, 10:58 PM   #5
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Oh, I know hurtful. Back when I was in high school, I was over weight but not REALLY over weight. I needed to lose like 25 lbs. I mean I was prolly like 160. I happened to be walking down the road with my friends and some girl yelled out at me "Fat *ss!" Really made me feel like utter crap.

So you just gotta use those hateful words a fuel for your weight loss fire! Use it as motivation to achieve your goals.
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Old 07-16-2009, 11:01 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lila Leeds View Post
"Something happened yesterday that I want to share. After joining the gym I was walking home, feeling happy about myself, (Yay for me making healthy lifestyle chages etc etc) when a teenage boy rides past on his bike & screams "get out the way ya fat sh*t!". Now normally when something like that happens I go home & cry into a packet of corn chips, not this time.
I came back with a "Get off the footpath, ya f****wit".

I'm classy like that."
I love it Lila! I would have totally said the same thing! Maybe not "f*** wit" but prolly something along the lines of "A**hole."

It's good to be the bigger person and brush it off, but sometimes stupid people need to get it right back!
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Old 07-16-2009, 11:12 PM   #7
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yah, a$$clowns like that don't deserve to win by making us run home, shut the door and cry and eat. No f-ing way pardon my language. WOW I'm so down with the "f-k you" right back LOL you can tell i graduated from the School of Witty Retorts lol
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Old 07-16-2009, 11:15 PM   #8
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I am 29 and I live in a college town LOTS of ignorant frat boys, I feel your pain.

When I tell my friends or fam the things that they have said, they say to me, "How does that not get to you?"

and I tell them, I decided a long time ago that I'm not going to let a complete stranger who will never think of that moment again, have that much power of me and my life. I'mnot going to go home and "Cry into a bag of cornchips" whenthey won't give a second thought to the way that they thought they hurt me. I won't let them. and neither should you, Iknow it's hard, but keep going. you can do this.
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Old 07-16-2009, 11:25 PM   #9
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yah, a$$clowns like that don't deserve to win by making us run home, shut the door and cry and eat. No f-ing way pardon my language. WOW I'm so down with the "f-k you" right back LOL you can tell i graduated from the School of Witty Retorts lol

Yeah, I thought a wry witty comeback would have been lost on them. I don't swear very often, but sometimes in the right context a carefully placed F word is entirely appropriate.
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Old 07-16-2009, 11:47 PM   #10
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You know, those aholes are going to get old one day, or their wife is going to get fat, or they will have an ugly kid. Something will happen in their life one day and some punk kid will make an ugly remark. THEN they will know how it feels. When it happens, they will either remember how they behaved when they were younger and feel bad. Or they won't remember, but guess what........they will feel bad anyway because some punk kid was an ahole to them or a loved one. Karma will get them eventually. Realizing that is what gets me through those types of situations.

My other mental trick to get through those types of things is to imagine that I have a really cool super power. The super power is that I can put a special curse on people so that every time they are a jerk to someone they get a terrible burning and itching in their privates.

Am I a weirdo? Yes , but hey, whatever works!!! I always have a good laugh with my super power fantasy and it makes me feel better.
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Old 07-16-2009, 11:56 PM   #11
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Yeah, that sucks. Just brush it off. I think most of us have had rude comments sent our direction related to our weight. They are just out to be rude and hurt anyone they can I bet.

I had a lady downtown Seattle just last night forget to keep her filter between thoughts and words in place. I was simply walking past her and a guy she was with and she says as I pass, "Now I wonder why more people like you cannot dress like you do"??????? I didn't know what she meant at first, and kinda slowed down to be next to her and looked at her with a blank expression I guess. The guy was absolutely not making eye contact with me! Then she went on to say, "That outfit is super flattering on your type of body." She obviously meant it as a compliment, but WOW..."more people like you"... Whatever, I hope she at least felt some of my awkwardness.
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Old 07-17-2009, 12:14 AM   #12
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Ugh! I hate this!

Just yesterday I was jogging in my new neighborhood where I just bought my very first house and some stupid boys (18 or so) drove by and yelled something about how I may as well be walking because I was running so slow... in front of people watering their lawns and everything

They really don't need much of a reason to be classless d-bags.

But I dragged my (slow) butt out there today and noticed everyone waving and smiling. I'm sorry they said that. Boys can be so hurtful before they've done anything worthwhile with themselves
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Old 07-17-2009, 12:16 AM   #13
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Originally Posted by Nori71 View Post
Yeah, that sucks. Just brush it off. I think most of us have had rude comments sent our direction related to our weight. They are just out to be rude and hurt anyone they can I bet.

I had a lady downtown Seattle just last night forget to keep her filter between thoughts and words in place. I was simply walking past her and a guy she was with and she says as I pass, "Now I wonder why more people like you cannot dress like you do"??????? I didn't know what she meant at first, and kinda slowed down to be next to her and looked at her with a blank expression I guess. The guy was absolutely not making eye contact with me! Then she went on to say, "That outfit is super flattering on your type of body." She obviously meant it as a compliment, but WOW..."more people like you"... Whatever, I hope she at least felt some of my awkwardness.
Eek! I would have stopped, looked at her and said, "I'm sorry, but I'm not sure I understand exactly what you mean by that."

I can't believe people.
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Old 07-17-2009, 12:40 AM   #14
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Eek! I would have stopped, looked at her and said, "I'm sorry, but I'm not sure I understand exactly what you mean by that."

I can't believe people.
Yeah, or say to her, as if you are bemused, "People like me....?" Perhaps once she is asked to actually spell out what she means, she will have the good grace to be embarrased. I'm guessing that she did mean it to be a compliment, but here's how I think compliments should be done:

"Cute dress!" The end. Nothing else.
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Old 07-17-2009, 01:27 AM   #15
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The end. Nothing else.
Exactly!
In all honesty, I was so stunned...not because I'm walking around delusional and think I don't appear to be an overweight woman...but I couldn't think straight in the moment. I did notice that I was dressed WAY better than she was and saying something mean crossed my mind...but then in the same second I knew she didn't mean it as an insult.
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