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Old 07-15-2009, 02:57 PM   #1
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Default No Longer a Victim

Do you believe you're a victim of a great compromise?
'Cause I believe you could change your mind and change our lives.

~John Mellencamp - "Your Life Is Now"

* * *

I've always found that set of lyrics extremely inspirational to different aspects of my life, and now that I'm taking the time to re-examine the general attitude I've had about my weight over the years, it seems more apt than ever. It's way too easy to say you "can't" when it comes to doing something about it all.

In my own case, I find it easy to play the victim, to feel like I'm being blown around in the wind by circumstances beyond my control. Given my family history from both sides, I'm sure I've got plenty of fat genes. Plus my mother taught me at an early age to eat for comfort and hide the "evidence." In other words, any type of pleasurable eating was something to hide and be ashamed of.

I reminded myself that now that I'm an adult with the freedom to do research and think for myself, I really should know better than continue to play the victim. I can be the one in control of my mind, body, and spirit if I choose to be.

We can learn about food so we can make informed choices. We can choose to exercise and what works the best for our bodies. And we can choose to eat for the right reasons and find more constructive ways to comfort ourselves. Or we can fall back into our old habits, blaming our history or surroundings, making excuses . . .

Just something I've been thinking about since I've been here this past week.

Last edited by Elladorine; 07-15-2009 at 03:47 PM.
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Old 07-15-2009, 04:19 PM   #2
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Thinking is GOOD. Challenging your pre-conceptions is GOOD. Questioning those "sacred cows" is GOOD.

If you don't THINK, you don't GROW. And if you don't GROW, you don't CHANGE. And if you don't CHANGE, how will you ever get off the path you've been ON and find a NEW path to success? Cause the old path was leading to a very. unhappy. place.

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Old 07-16-2009, 01:48 AM   #3
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That's right! I'm glad I've found a better path.

And I love the amount of positive energy I've found here, it's contagious! I only hope I'll be able to spread the inspiration I've found from others back to the community.

Last edited by Elladorine; 07-16-2009 at 01:49 AM.
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Old 07-16-2009, 09:17 AM   #4
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There's a line from a novel that has always really struck home with me:

"His mother had often said, When you choose an action, you choose the consequences of that action. She had emphasized the corollary of this axiom even more vehemently: when you desired a consequence you had damned well better take the action that would create it."
-Memory, Lois McMaster Bujold

It seems so obvious, but it's so easy to forget that the things that we want aren't just going to happen -- we have to make them happen. I remind myself of this all the time.


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Old 07-16-2009, 02:35 PM   #5
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What a great way of thinking!! I too played the victim for so long. When I was about 21 I took a self-esteem course, I took two actually for Early Childhood Education and it really helped me to talk about things I'd gone through and the blame I had for others but that was when I woke up and realized I was my own person, it took years for me to put that into place and take my own destiny in my hands and realize that yes I make my own choices and the choices I was making weren't always the best for me but they were the best I could do with the tools I had at the time.

Now I know that my dad's issues are his issues and though he took them out on me (re: diets and eating issues), I can change what I am and how I control my future. It's a huge step, I think anyway.

This board really is an inspiration and all the topics keep me on my toes and thinking.
Donna -Snowbound Start March 2, 2013 Plant-based April 11,2016
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Old 07-16-2009, 02:39 PM   #6
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I like this thread alot. I can really relate to this in more ways than one!
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Old 08-12-2009, 04:47 PM   #7
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This is wonderful!
Stopped smoking October 21, 2008
Made it to Onederland July 16, 2009

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Achievement seems to be connected with action. Successful men and women keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit.
- Conrad Hilton

Disclaimer: I am not a registered dietitian, nutritionist, any kind of health professional or fitness expert...I'm just a woman who's lost 161.5 pounds so far with a lot of hard work.
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