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Old 07-09-2009, 01:42 PM   #1
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So I saw a friend who hasn't seen me in a while and she took a look and asked, "So when did you have the surgery?" I knew she meant it to be mean ("you've obviously taken the easy way out, since I can't lose weight..." -- though I can't imagine WLS be the "easy way out"). I kind of felt flummoxed for a minute then just said I'd been going to the Y alot and left it at that. I was irritated I felt so flat footed (along with the implication that since she can't lose her weight, I couldn't possibly be losing mine).

Any better/cleverer answers out there?

Thanks,

Barb
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Old 07-09-2009, 01:44 PM   #2
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I guess I would have said "I didn't" and leave it at that. What a rude question to ask someone!
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Old 07-09-2009, 01:58 PM   #3
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I would have said "I haven't but when Are you having yours?"
Since she was obviously being rude about it.
Then maybe she will think twice before being a "BUTT" again.
Sometimes people can just be rude~I am rude back (sometimes) just so they quit bullying me....And usually it works.

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Old 07-09-2009, 02:03 PM   #4
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I think I would have said "Huh???"

Just remember that people are mean because they are unhappy. Tell yourself, "Poor girl. That's the best she can do." I know, easier said than done, I have to remind myself a lot. But it really does help keep their negativity from getting under your skin.
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Old 07-09-2009, 02:03 PM   #5
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I'd have probably just said, I didn't.

I might have said I was having a friendectomy but it would probably just be classier to ignore her.
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Old 07-09-2009, 02:04 PM   #6
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insane site rptd me.
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Old 07-09-2009, 02:05 PM   #7
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you answered her question...we dont need people like that in our lives....just add her to the list of motivators turn her bad energy into your good energy and feel good knowing that shes worrying about you wayyy more than youre worrying about her!!
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Old 07-09-2009, 02:10 PM   #8
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Oooh...friend-amee alert big time!

Don't waste being clever on that one. Catch the next flight out!
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Old 07-09-2009, 02:15 PM   #9
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I think I would have said, "I haven't had any surgery. My skin looks so great because I'm using this AMAZING new cream -- brand X -- and I'm so glad you noticed! The box says that it can erase 5 years off your face!!! You should try it -- lets go to the drugstore and see if it is there."

She probably won't say much after that, and you DID answer her question.

If she persists, I'd say "Oh, don't be silly!" and leave it at that!

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Old 07-09-2009, 02:22 PM   #10
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I've had that said to me... what I said "huh?" and then "what surgery?"

that usually flabbergasts them
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Old 07-09-2009, 02:26 PM   #11
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Actually got in an argument with a co-worker I hadn't seen since last year about this. She kept saying, "but you HAD to have had surgery, it's just not possible to lose that much weight that fast otherwise." Well, yes it is, if you are determined, dedicated and weight loss is the #1 most important thing in your life. Ain't that right girls?

I finally offered to take her in the ladies' and show her my (invisible, because it doesn't exist) scar. Then she shut up and moved along.
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Old 07-09-2009, 02:27 PM   #12
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Yeah that sucks- I mean it's like REALLY- REALLY do you have to go there? Why not just say wow you look great!

I would have said "what surgery?" and if she kept on going I would have said "though weight loss surgery isn't the "easy" way to lose weight, I did it with dieting and exercising, the good old fashioned way. Thanks for the support."

I agree maybe it's time to cut the friendship strings.

ETA- I just noticed you lost over 100 lbs- that's AMAZING GIRL!
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Old 07-09-2009, 02:32 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kiramira View Post
If she persists, I'd say "Oh, don't be silly!" and leave it at that!
Nice I have to try to remember that one. I love responses to negativity that don't just pile on more negativity.
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Old 07-09-2009, 02:38 PM   #14
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Ok, since I am naturally blunt and seem to think quickly to be rude back, here's the conversation I would have had:
Her: "So when did you have the surgery?"
Me: "What surgery?"
Her: "To lose weight"
Me: "There'sa surgery to lose weight? Man where have I been living?! Besides, I haven't lost weight! This outfit is new though!"
I would think at this point she would be a bit confused haha. At which point I just turn and walk away.
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Old 07-09-2009, 02:38 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DCHound View Post
Actually got in an argument with a co-worker I hadn't seen since last year about this. She kept saying, "but you HAD to have had surgery, it's just not possible to lose that much weight that fast otherwise." Well, yes it is, if you are determined, dedicated and weight loss is the #1 most important thing in your life. Ain't that right girls?
...and guys.

Yes, right!
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Total: 267.6 pounds.

I will do the Komen 60 mile walk for breast cancer again this year!!
Next goal is 175: Pounds from goal = 4.2.
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