Dear Heaven! If I didn't know better I would accuse my husband of being a bigomist because I would swear he's the same man your married too! Fortunately (or maybe its unfortunate) I know my husband is too lazy and too lacking in energy to even attempt it.
He is EXACTLY what you describe in your husband! He was recently diagnosed with diabetes. He also takes the Meta for it and doesn't do anything else. There was a drop in his AC1 so he assumes the pills are doing just fine, he doesn't need to do anything else about it! It drives me nuts!
I'll make a healthy meal for him (have even gotten to the point where I portion it out and dish it up for him) only to have him go back for 2nd...3rds... maybe 4ths depending on the dish. So my response was to quit making so much food and if we have leftovers (cause we have kids and their appetites vary from night to night) I refrig them ASAP.
Haha, thought I was being clever. Till I come in the living room and he's got the peanut butter jar open with a spoon in it. Or he's going "healthy" and has about a pound of grapes gone or has cooked ramen noodles, smothered them in butter and is stuffing them down like no tomorrow!
I also get the double talk. I'll try to be...well, nagging I guess, and point out, "Honey, you can't eat a pound of grapes, that's a lot of fructose! Um.. that's sugar dear." He will preceed to ignore me but then later if I make a meal and scoop him extra veggies and try to cut down the meat (which is still a LARGE portion) I get... "I can't have this much carbs, I'm supposed to eat protien!" GAHHHHHH!!!!!
I feel for you so much cause no matter how you might try to lead the proverbial horse to water... well, you and I both know.
I'm in the angry phase right now. Fine you want to die young, go ahead but I'm not going to help you kill yourself and don't come running to me when it turns all to heck! Course I don't really feel like that but he makes me SOOOOO mad!
Do you do all the shopping for your household? Cause my husband is now banned from "helping" me shop. His job is to stay home with the kids which means he can't add his "extras" into the cart and he is completely at the mercy of my grocery list.
As far as talking to him, it's always better in a marriage to be honest. Try the managment approach, 2 postives for every 1 negative. Like "Honey, I love you. You are such a great husband! But I worry that your health is going to get worse and I won't have you around anymore. You mean a lot to me!" And emphasize that you don't care IF he loses weight, so long as he's trying better with the diabetes (which will undoubtedly make him lose the weight but so long as your making it clear that THAT is not your objective).
Otherwise, feel free to message me, we can exchange numbers if need be and have venting sessions.