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Please, I need desperately need HELP!

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Old 06-24-2009, 08:34 AM   #1
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Default Please, I need desperately need HELP!

I truly need some kind words more than I have ever needed them. Seriously ever needed them in my life. I want to join you all in this thread. I really need help, something has got to change for me.

I posted this also in the 40 something's. I need all the support I can get right now, I don't think I have truly ever felt this down. I am really not sure where to even start again. I truly think I have given up and I just realized my weight is over 100# more than I weighed when I was in college and well over 100 more than I should weigh.

I am 45 years old and need to lose over 100#. I can't find a word to describe how I feel. Stupefied might be a good one.

I feel numb thinking about doing this. It's an incredibly overwhelming feeling I can't seem to wrap my mind around. It's like every time I start thinking about it I sort of just short circuit and my mind fizzles.

I don't know where or how to find the motivation. I have been losing and gaining the same 70# over and over and over again in the last 10 years.

I have not posted in a while and I am so far gone I don't know how I will ever get back on track.

My husband and I just went to Chicago for a visit with family and I felt like a slug the entire time. Everyone running up and down the Navy Pier and Shopping the "Magnificent Mile" and I could hardly move, much less keep up.

I was embarrassed and very angry with myself. Instead of taking charge and eating right I totally gorged myself each and every day using the excuse that it is "Chicago Food".. and well Lord knows I can't "get that here in Orlando". What a joke.

Now I just feel overwhelmed and don't really know where to start. I desperately need a few encouraging words.

I am going in to change my stats. 234.5 pounds today and I am not even 5' 4".
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Old 06-24-2009, 08:47 AM   #2
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Hi and Welcome,

I don't have time for a lengthy post but want to give you a hug . Many of us have been where you are or in worse shape. You can change your life. Read ChocLabLover's post, One year ago today…. It is truly inspiring.

You have come to the right place for support and I look forward to seeing you here.
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Old 06-24-2009, 08:48 AM   #3
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You first need to take a deep breath! Of course you're overwhelmed. I know I was at about 300 pounds and 39 years old.

Don't think about all the weight you have to lose. That's too much. Instead, think about losing 5 pounds. You can lose 5 pounds, right?

If you aren't the kind of person who can make large lifestyle changes all at once, then just simply start by making some changes and then build on those.

Trust me, we've been there. We know how you feel. And yet, we've made it through. When I was in the place you are I was able to use it as motivation to begin. Then I made a long-term commitment: to be fitter at 50 than when I turned 40. And I began...

GOOD LUCK!
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Old 06-24-2009, 09:01 AM   #4
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Runundefined, Welcome first of all.

I, as well as many others know the feeling of despair and urgency in this! You have come to the right place.

The best piece of advise I can give you is do what works for you. There is a way of eating that works for just YOU--- when you find that perfect it for your life. When you get that done, find the exercise that works for YOU. Find something you can and will do that makes YOU feel better! I promise if you do that, it will be much easier to do this. I am not done losing weight, but I do know that I have been on the weight loss roller coaster many times over the span of 20 years (almost the age of my oldest son). It is a day to day battle-- but this time it is different b/c I am using all of the diet knowledge I learned in the past and I have found something that is working for MY BODY! So, no matter the plan, no matter the exercise--- just do what is best for your life. BTW, I have posted this before and it drives some people nuts, but weighing more often than once a week for me is key. Last week I tried tossing the scales out, b/c "you are not supposed to weigh more than once a week" and "you are more than just a number" and the "number should not dictate how you feel", but in reality, weighing often is what got me to the point I am at now. I don't want a surprise when I step on the scale b/c for me 1 pound gain turns into 2, 5, 10........ and that is what works for ME.

Sorry to ramble on..... I hope through the ramblings you find a glimmer of hope. PM if you would like.

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Old 06-24-2009, 09:14 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Runundefined View Post
I am 45 years old and need to lose over 100#. I can't find a word to describe how I feel. Stupefied might be a good one.

I feel numb thinking about doing this. It's an incredibly overwhelming feeling I can't seem to wrap my mind around. It's like every time I start thinking about it I sort of just short circuit and my mind fizzles.

I don't know where or how to find the motivation. I have been losing and gaining the same 70# over and over and over again in the last 10 years.

I have not posted in a while and I am so far gone I don't know how I will ever get back on track.



You will get back on track the same way you got off track: one bite at a time. I'm 43, under 5', and over 200lbs. We're in the same boat, and we're not going to sink! (It's a heavily reinforced boat )

Many of us here have felt the same way. Don't think of it in terms of losing 100 lbs. Who wouldn't be overwhelmed at the thought?! We each lose our weight 1 lb at a time, think in baby steps. There is hope! You CAN do this. I think the best way to make the task a head of you seem more manageable and less desperate and discouraging is to be very specific about where you are, how you got here, and how you're going to get where you want to be. Dig deep.

---> What is contributing to you keeping the weight? I'm not talking about emotional issues, but what actions are you taking or not taking that are keeping you unhealthy? Are you a late night eater, a junk food junky, do you clean your kids plates or eat while you cook? List as many areas, habits as you can that are contributing to your problem.

---> Pick a plan you can stick to. There are lots of them to choose from, and you'll find lot of support here. Don't worry about how much you have to lose or how fast you can lose it. You're in this for the long haul. Design a sensible food/exercise plan that suits you. Something you know you can do. Shape it over time. In the mean time, start today. Pick one or two things you can do today. Small ways you can alter your eating today. A little exercise today. Walk around the block.


You CAN do this!
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Old 06-24-2009, 09:24 AM   #6
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I'll second what Heather said- focus on 5 pounds at a time. If I looked at the 112 I needed to lose I would have not even started and I am 44.

Your ticker says you already lost 22 pounds- you are off to a good start! You can lose 5 more- YES you can! Don't worry about the 5 after that- just keeping thinking of the 5 your are on. Maybe plan some little rewards every 5 pounds.

Forgive yourself for what happened while you were away and give yourself a fresh start. I keep a daily journal and give myself a fresh piece of paper every day- If I want to look back on a good day I can, but those bad days are over once they get moved from the clipboard to the binder and I can move on.

Consider yourself hugged and there are lots of us here to lean on!
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Old 06-24-2009, 09:25 AM   #7
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I feel this way so often I can't even tell you. I'll be 30 in January and I've been overweight for more than half of my life. I haven't had a date in I don't know how long. I think it's because of the way I look but honestly I don't have any confidence in myself and I think that's another reason. I'm worried that I'll never get married or have kids. I rarely have any energy, I'm starting to get aches and pains constantly, which is probably from carrying around all this extra weight. I'm terrified that diabetes is going to set in, if it hasn't already.

What I'm trying to say is, I completely understand how you are feeling. I wish I could just wake up tomorrow and be 160 pounds. **** I'd settle for under 200. I haven't been under 200 lbs in probably ten years. But unfortunately it just doesn't happen that way. You've already lost like 20 pounds though and that is AMAZING!! I lost 15 about two years back and I felt so awesome.

For me when I see the number on the scale go down, it's okay. What really motivates me is when I put on clothes and they are loose. Or when someone tells me I look like I'm losing weight.

I hope you have someone in your life who will do this for you. I recommend staying with this board as much as possible. The people here are so supportive. I drift in and out but I really should post every single day.

You just have to be strong, and I know that is the hardest thing in the world right now. But if you stick with it you'll get there.

I wish I was better at practicing what I preach!
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Old 06-24-2009, 09:28 AM   #8
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Hi there, I remember you!

I know how you feel. I know it well. I was 287 lbs at only 5 feet tall a mere 3 years ago. I was 42 at the time. I celebrate my 2 year "goal" anniversary in a couple of weeks.

Thank goodness that losing weight is a doable thing and something that you CAN control. Thank G-d you haven't been "diagnosed" with some incurable disease. This IS something you can reverse.

The way to do that - decide to. People ask me all the time how I lost so much weight and I tell them simply - "I decided to". I was done with being fat and scared and miserable and wasting away my life settling for second best when first was well within my reach. And I decided to do something about it. I was at the point where I was willing, more then willing to do what was necessary to get the job done - permanently. I then made the commitment TO do it and everything kind of fell into place after that.

The bottom line was/is permanent weight loss could not occur for me until the desire to be thin, fit, trim and healthy outweighed, overpowered and overtook the desire for "those foods".

I therefore overhauled my entire lifestyle. Switching out the poor eating habits and behaviors and adding in good healthy,sensible, reasonable sustainable habits. It was time to be responsible about my food intake. It meant getting rid of "those foods" and seeking out newer, healthier ones. Ones that are satisfying, highly nutritious, voluminous, lower in calories and DELICIOUS.

Being overweight is a choice. Being fit and healthy is a choice as well. The choice is yours. You without a doubt 100% can lose the weight. You don't have to be overweight if you don't want to be. Know that.
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Old 06-24-2009, 10:20 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thinpossible View Post



You will get back on track the same way you got off track: one bite at a time. I'm 43, under 5', and over 200lbs. We're in the same boat, and we're not going to sink! (It's a heavily reinforced boat )

Many of us here have felt the same way. Don't think of it in terms of losing 100 lbs. Who wouldn't be overwhelmed at the thought?! We each lose our weight 1 lb at a time, think in baby steps. There is hope! You CAN do this. I think the best way to make the task a head of you seem more manageable and less desperate and discouraging is to be very specific about where you are, how you got here, and how you're going to get where you want to be. Dig deep.

---> What is contributing to you keeping the weight? I'm not talking about emotional issues, but what actions are you taking or not taking that are keeping you unhealthy? Are you a late night eater, a junk food junky, do you clean your kids plates or eat while you cook? List as many areas, habits as you can that are contributing to your problem.

---> Pick a plan you can stick to. There are lots of them to choose from, and you'll find lot of support here. Don't worry about how much you have to lose or how fast you can lose it. You're in this for the long haul. Design a sensible food/exercise plan that suits you. Something you know you can do. Shape it over time. In the mean time, start today. Pick one or two things you can do today. Small ways you can alter your eating today. A little exercise today. Walk around the block.


You CAN do this!

I totally agree with this. Yes, I hear in your post how desperate you are... I'm sorry... and I understand.

I want to suggest to you to look at just TODAY... pick something you can do Today -- let's say, drink more water. Take a 15 minute walk, at whatever pace YOU can handle. It's just too much to think about the entire picture; so try to focus on the here and now. And as you can handle those things you chose you can add a few things. And post here, we all care and will do everything we can to lift you up and nudge you along the way.

Big hugs. you CAN do this.
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Old 06-24-2009, 10:37 AM   #10
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Old 06-24-2009, 10:44 AM   #11
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I've been there , as many of us have. I wanted to go to bed fat and wake up thin. that will never happen. I started many times and didn't follow through. Then one day I just decided to DO IT ! I can't say that I received some miraculous insight. I was just tired of it all. I concentrated on losing ten pounds at a time, it was too overwhelming to think of all I needed to lose. Find a plan that you will follow, it may take some experimenting to find what works for you, that's OK. I tried a lot of different diets before I found what worked best for me.
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Old 06-24-2009, 10:49 AM   #12
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These ladies have already given you some wonderful advice

Take a step back, breathe, and start charting your course of action. We are all here for you and as you can see from a lot of women here that it is possible!

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Old 06-24-2009, 11:05 AM   #13
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Welcome back. You're on the right site for support. As others have said, think of the pounds in 5 lb increments, it won't seem like such a big jump then. I wish it were easy, but losing weight is hard. But it's also worth it. Just remember, you CAN do this!
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Old 06-24-2009, 11:18 AM   #14
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Originally Posted by RomanceDiva View Post
These ladies have already given you some wonderful advice

Take a step back, breathe, and start charting your course of action. We are all here for you and as you can see from a lot of women here that it is possible!

What she said

Plenty of inspiration here in the one day at a time sense (and sometimes the one moment at a time). We believe in ourselves and we believe in you
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Old 06-24-2009, 11:36 AM   #15
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Hello all, I am in the same boat. I am approaching my 40th birthday and I look at myself and just don't know who I am anymore. I haven't looked in a mirror in years because I do not like what I see. I am now 100 lbs more than I should be and I just do not know where to start I would love it if I could find someone that could help me stay motivated and help with any advise. I ran accross this board late last night when I couldn't sleep and I thought well just maybe I might be ablet to find someone that has been through what I am going through and could help out or just have someone to talk to and be accountable to on a daily basis. Any help any of you guys could offer would be a great blessing.
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