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Can I hang out here, and is this normal?

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Old 06-15-2009, 01:29 AM   #1
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Default Can I hang out here, and is this normal?

I'm 5'2andahalf" (and yes that andahalf is important when you are this short!) and I am 265 right now. I know I need to probably lose more than 100, probably about 120, but I am having a really hard time accepting that, and committing to that. It's been hard enough for me to say 75.
So what I'm asking is, if I am only at this time saying I want to lose 75 (to keep from scaring myself silly), although I NEED to lose more than 100, can I hang out here with ya'll? Maybe through some support in time I can convince myself to commit to losing 100+!
And also, has anyone else had this problem?
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Old 06-15-2009, 01:35 AM   #2
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Welcome!

Honestly? I knew I had to lose MINIMUM 227 lbs. So I just owned it. I DID however break it down into smaller chunks. First it was to be 350 and then under 300 and then under 275 and my next big goal is to be under 250. That did help me from getting really overwhelmed. I always look for the next "goal" and my end goal? It's there... but I don't focus on it too much yet
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Old 06-15-2009, 01:59 AM   #3
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yes most defintiely I have that problem! And yes hang out here. I do all the time! We all can use all the support and commaderie in this journey! I someday would like to be about 135 but right now that seems like such a big goal... its too far out of reach for me. It is difficult also I have found to focus on such a long term goal when there is no tangible reward in sight. But I've realized it will be a journey and that is why I have decided to focus on 10lbs at a time. My 1st "big" goal is to really reach 199. But my focus right now is to lose this 1st 10lbs. Once I do I will be glad, I will have a sense of accomplishment that will spur me on to continue with this journey as a lifestyle change and that it will seem doable 10lbs at a time.

Also thinking about it now, it also makes me more active and motivated to reach that 10lb goal! Cuz really I could do that in a matter of a few weeks, not the months it will take me to get to my final goal. And when I think oh, I hope to lose 100lbs in a year... my brain goes straight to procrastination mode... I got a year to do this so I keep putting off starting. Having just 10lbs to lose puts it into a more immediate perspective for me! I know I can do this, I can lose 10lbs this month! Not in a few months or by next year. Go pick up a 10lb weight, think about it, and know you can do this! So I figure eventually my mini-goals will all add up and I will be able to look back and see all that I've accomplished and how much I've grown & learned as a person.

If you really want to lose 120lbs, make that your long term goal but break it up into smaller more managable mini-goals of 10-20lbs or so. Set specific steps on how you will reach it and a specific time frame. I am in the middle of my 1st 10lb goal. And that is all I'm focused on day to day. Yes, I day dream of what it will be like when I've slimmed down to a lean body, but that just keeps me motivated to stay focus on this 10lbs. Cuz once I've reached it I will have a new 10lbs goal! And since I will have already completed one mini-goal, I will know I can do it again (and again)!

My bottom line here is: Don't overwhelm yourself. It will only make it seem more impossible and at least for me leads me to become lazy and turn back to emotional eating. And we know it's not impossible! This forum is proof of that, just go to the Goal posts and be inspired by all these amazing people who have done it! They did it and so can we!
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Old 06-15-2009, 02:13 AM   #4
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i've been cruising this board for i dunno how long. i think i year? and i've only lost and gained the same darn 10 pounds. losing weight is such a personal battle and no two people will have the same journey.
i think you are really brave and honest for saying straight out that you're not ready to move on this thing just yet and right now just need to hang out 'round these parts and take it all in.
Its a fantastic forum. So many encouraging and supportive words of wisdom everywhere you look.
Truth is my friend that taking the step to just belong to a community like this one is your first step. The official and formal weight loss stuff.. it'll happen when you are ready for it.
Hang out. Read. Listen. Talk. and Welcome.
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Old 06-15-2009, 02:20 AM   #5
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Wow, awesome! Thanks so much for the welcoming and encouragement, ladies!
I'm so looking forward to getting to know you and give and receive support!
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Old 06-15-2009, 02:55 AM   #6
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My ultimate goal is 150, but I also break it into chunks, and if I ever get to feeling that I can't or don't want to do what it takes to go any further, I've given myself permission to stop (temporarily or permanently).

In the past, when I felt like I couldn't lose any more weight, I'd feel like there was no point to go on. Instead of looking at the progress I'd made, I'd decide that because the goal seemed impossible, then I might as well not even try (and I'd regain everything plus some). So now, I remind myself that there is always a point to maintain what I've lost. Even if I never lose another pound, there's still a number of great reasons to maintain the weight loss I have made.
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Old 06-15-2009, 06:58 AM   #7
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I understand completely, and for years I didn't try because I was afraid of not achieving my goal weight, but in the last six months I've significantly changed the way I've thought about my weight. I know it says in my profile that I want to be 66kg, which is the highest weight of a healthy BMI for my height, but this seems so improbable and far off, that I don't think about it much. My goal is to be weigh less. Medically, they say that just a 10% drop in weight makes a huge difference, and certainly, the first 10% made a massive difference in how my clothes fit and how energetic I felt.

So personally, I would recommend making your aim be to create healthy habits, start exercising and eating good whole foods, and celebrate every pound, irrelevant of whether it takes a month to shift, or disappears overnight.

Good luck.
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Old 06-15-2009, 08:40 AM   #8
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Welcome! Although I set an end-goal of 145, it's a pretty arbitrary number. It's what I weighed in college and made my goal an even 100 lbs, which appealed to me. I don't know if I'll ever get there. I may get to 160 and decide that I feel great and don't want to work that hard to get to 145. So, set whatever goal makes you happy and motivates you! I think most of the long term losers here have probably adjusted their goal along the way, either higher or lower. It's a learning experience.
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Old 06-15-2009, 08:51 AM   #9
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Welcome!!!

I had to break my goals down too. I had several mini goals...first starting with 5 lbs then I bumped that up to 10lb increments. Plus hitting 250, 225, 200 then under 200 My ultimate goal is 145. Focusing on the smaller numbers was easier than thinking about the 141lbs I had to lose.

Good luck!
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Old 06-15-2009, 08:53 AM   #10
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Welcome It is definitely very hard to think about the big numbers but small numbers add up to big numbers. There are also a lot of people who adjust their goals as they go along, I know I have.
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Old 06-15-2009, 08:59 AM   #11
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Hi. Pull up a chair and get comfy! This is a GREAT place to be.

I look back and for so long I didn't even attempt a weight loss program because of the overwhelming numbers. I started at 287 lbs - only 5 feet tall. The numbers seemed staggering - and just too much. Looking back, that was kinda silly of me. Umm by delaying it - the numbers were going to get better - on their own? Ummm, no.

Then one day I had had enough. I was sick and tired of being fat. Sick and tired of all that it brought about. Sick and tired of living that "way". Just missing out on SO much. And for what? Some "food"? And I decided to do something about it. I became so determined to be a "normal" weight, that the numbers didn't matter any more. They were what they were. I knew that I could get to goal and lose every single excess pound on me - provided I didn't stop till I got there.

I did break it down though in 10 lbs intervals. I made it a game of sorts. Gave myself a reward for each 10 lbs lost - the first 10 lbs was a new pocket book - then a wallet - then a pair of slippers. Eventually, the weight was falling off so quickly, I just put aside money for new clothes.

I got so "into" this wonderful healthy lifestyle (I know, I didn't think it was possible either) that it wouldn't have mattered if I needed to lose 265 lbs. I became more "addicted" to this new way of life then I ever was the food.

I'm glad you're here. It's a great place to be. And I urge you to not worry about the big numbers. It's totally doable. Losing weight and lots of it IS a doable thing and any one and every one CAN do it. YOURSELF included. KNOW it and take comfort in it.

I look forward to hearing of your success!!!
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Old 06-15-2009, 09:40 AM   #12
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This is a great place for support!!! i agree with what the other chicks have said. Break your weight loss into small pieces. Focus on just 5 at a time. You can lose 5 pounds!!! Small victories add up and they boost your confidence. You can do this. You are not alone. Today is the first day of the rest of your life, so make it count!
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Old 06-15-2009, 10:12 AM   #13
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You're welcome here!

So many have already said it and it's really true -- smaller pieces. 100 pounds or more can be just too overwhelming. Smaller goals should help, whatever you feel they need to be (every five, 10, or 30 pounds, for example).

You know, as I've started to lose, the 115 I had to lose stopped seeming as overwhelming as it did in the beginning. Maybe the progress helps because you see you're actually doing something and getting closer to a goal.
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Old 06-15-2009, 10:19 AM   #14
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Glad to have you aboard! Welcome!
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Old 06-15-2009, 10:21 AM   #15
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Hi. I'm in the 100 lb club and I don't have my goal as to lose 100lbs or more. Right now, my goal is to lose 65. I picked that number because I remember being that size when I was 21, and I was pretty happy. I might get there and try to go lower; actually, I probably will because it's not within my healthy weight range. But that's my goal for now, and no one here has ever said anything to me about not belonging here or anything. In fact, I think this is the best place to be. I have learned so much from these ladies and gotten so much support I don't think I'd want to go anywhere else.
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