3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > Support Groups > 100 lb. Club

Not really getting support..Vent..

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 06-13-2009, 01:22 PM   #1
Getting Started
 
mel hughes's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 168

S/C/G: 275/257/145

Height: 5'6"

Unhappy Not really getting support..Vent..

I'm just feeling slightly frustrated right now. I have been on my Weight Watchers plan for 3 weeks now. I've been sticking to it pretty well, more so than I've ever done any other time I've tried dieting.

The one thing I'm struggling with is exercise. Last week I did some on the treadmill at my parents' house, 20 minutes a day, for 4 days in the week..I believe.
Well I'm not at my parents' house all the time. I have 2 very small children. So I've thought multiple times that it would be great if my husband and I could take the kids in their strollers to the park or the track and just walk. For at least something physical.

I asked my husband if we could go a few minutes ago, and he says to me "Do you wanna go with Jordan, and Gage and I will stay here?" I don't know if he is just blind, but he doesn't seem to understand how much I want/need his support in the exercise area. I've got the food thing down on my own. [This morning I got him breakfast from McDonald's and came home to make my own..]
But it would be so much easier for me to work out if he came with me.
My husband was 310lbs before we met, and when we did he had just lost 131lbs in 6 months. From running and dieting. So one would assume he could understand why I need the support? But I guess not. Maybe its different for men.. Or just him..
__________________


One for every 10lbs lost!


1st Mini Goal: -26lbs
-Melissa
mel hughes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2009, 01:43 PM   #2
Never surrender
 
dragonwoman64's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 2,751

S/C/G: 251 current/237 minigoal/180

Height: 5' 9"

Default

go tell him, maybe he's just being dense
__________________
dragonwoman64 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2009, 01:49 PM   #3
Never want to go back!
 
CLCSC145's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,804

S/C/G: 338.4/190.8/165

Height: 6 ft

Default

I think you need to spell out what you need and expect from him more clearly, even beyond using the word "support". He may think he is being supportive by letting you go with just one kid and by not coming up with excuses why you don't need to go.

I think you should go. Make it YOUR time. Leave BOTH of the kids with him and get out there.
__________________
CLCSC145 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2009, 01:55 PM   #4
aka Confessor Siuan
 
SnowboundChick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Yukon, Canada
Posts: 1,115

S/C/G: 324/318/225 (first goal)

Height: 5"7'

Default

I agree, you have to have a conversation with him and let him know what you need! That's what I did with my Hubby!
__________________
Donna -Snowbound Start March 2, 2013
SnowboundChick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2009, 01:59 PM   #5
always full of hot air
 
TamiL's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 829

S/C/G: 190/114/125

Height: 5'3"

Default

Just say, "I am going for a walk, please keep an eye on Jordan and Gage". Then you leave. It took two to make and it takes two to raise em!
TamiL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2009, 02:00 PM   #6
Loving life!!
 
TJFitnessDiva's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Ponchatoula, LA
Posts: 2,349

S/C/G: 360/159/145

Height: 5' 8"

Default

Usually you have to just come out and say it for guys to get it. I'm sure once you do he'll be more understanding
__________________
Tanee

"The most exciting, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself."


My fan page on facebook! www.facebook.com/taneeisfitforlife
TJFitnessDiva is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2009, 02:16 PM   #7
A Turtle loser
 
Michelle1210's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Las Cruces, New Mexico
Posts: 414

Default

Tell him you need his help. you need your time. I do know when my husband was watching his weight it made me feel insecure......it could be he is feeling that way with you. what if you lose weight and look attractive (not that you dont) . it made me get off my butt and take care of myself.
__________________
Michelle

"If you want results, your going to have to fight for it" J.M.


50lbs. by New Years Challenge
Michelle1210 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2009, 02:27 PM   #8
WW on-line since 1/1/2009
 
Jennelle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Mississippi, USA
Posts: 2,332

S/C/G: see ticker

Height: 5'5"

Default

I absolutely agree with Tamil's answer! If for some reason that won't work in the dynamics of your marriage, then perhaps you can come up with a workout schedule so he knows when you will need him to watch the kids.

I have the same issue with hubby not wanting to go to the gym with me. I finally gave up and just started going by myself. I invite him every time, but if he doesn't want to go - oh well. (Of course, I don't have little kids to watch, either.)
__________________
Jennelle
270.8/215.0/199.8


mini-goals:
get out of the 230s by July 23rd: Met 7/23/2009
52 lbs. in 52 weeks (12/31/2009): Met 10/29/2009
Onederland:
180 (driver's license weight):
170.8 (100 lbs. lost):
160 (10 lbs to go!):
150 (final goal):
Jennelle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2009, 03:07 PM   #9
Getting Started
 
mel hughes's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 168

S/C/G: 275/257/145

Height: 5'6"

Default

So I did sort of discuss the situation with him. I just decided to go alone. He kept both of the kids, and I went to the local track. I walked a mile! It took me 21 minutes, but I was very proud of myself. It made me feel good to know I could do something like leave the house for 30 minutes to walk..that I didn't need anyone holding my hand or watching me to be sure I did it.

I had a smile on my face the entire last lap.

On a side note, I seriously need to invest in some better tennis shoes. I have blisters on my pinky toes and on the bottoms of my feet next to my toes.
__________________


One for every 10lbs lost!


1st Mini Goal: -26lbs
-Melissa
mel hughes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2009, 03:07 PM   #10
Getting Started
 
mel hughes's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 168

S/C/G: 275/257/145

Height: 5'6"

Default

And thanks for all the replies ladies! It helps a lot!
__________________


One for every 10lbs lost!


1st Mini Goal: -26lbs
-Melissa
mel hughes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2009, 03:29 PM   #11
Starting over
 
Alana in Canada's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 922

S/C/G: 257.8/242.4/135

Height: 5' 5"

Default

Good for you, Mel! Well done.

Men are just different creatures altogether--especially when it comes to motivation. I'm glad you went by yourself and found yourself STRONG while you were at it.

That's the ticket!
__________________
**************
my weight loss blog: http://mypsychemysoma.blogspot.com/



"Your best weight is whatever weight you reach, when you're living the healthiest life you actually enjoy." Yoni Freedhoff
Alana in Canada is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2009, 03:36 PM   #12
Getting Started
 
mel hughes's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 168

S/C/G: 275/257/145

Height: 5'6"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alana in Canada View Post
Good for you, Mel! Well done.

Men are just different creatures altogether--especially when it comes to motivation. I'm glad you went by yourself and found yourself STRONG while you were at it.

That's the ticket!
Thanks Alana! It really did feel amazing..
__________________


One for every 10lbs lost!


1st Mini Goal: -26lbs
-Melissa
mel hughes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2009, 03:36 PM   #13
Once more, with feeling!
 
KnitALisa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Washington, D.C.
Posts: 637

S/C/G: 235/ticker/135

Height: 5'4

Default

Mel - That's so awesome!! I love walking; gives me time to clear my head and get outside. Definitely invest in some good walking shoes. If possible, go to a running store or something like it. The staff should watch you walk and help you pick out a good pair.

On a side note, you mentioned that your children are very small. In my opinion, your hubby is supporting you more by caring for both of them while you get some "me" time. My godbabies are 2 and 1 and I know that just leaving the house with them can be a trial (Do we have enough diapers/bottles/toys/blankets, etc?). Anyhoo, congrats and keep going!
__________________
Lisa
Here it comes, a better version of me.- Fiona Apple


KnitALisa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2009, 03:50 PM   #14
Getting Started
 
mel hughes's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 168

S/C/G: 275/257/145

Height: 5'6"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by KnitALisa View Post
Mel - That's so awesome!! I love walking; gives me time to clear my head and get outside. Definitely invest in some good walking shoes. If possible, go to a running store or something like it. The staff should watch you walk and help you pick out a good pair.

On a side note, you mentioned that your children are very small. In my opinion, your hubby is supporting you more by caring for both of them while you get some "me" time. My godbabies are 2 and 1 and I know that just leaving the house with them can be a trial (Do we have enough diapers/bottles/toys/blankets, etc?). Anyhoo, congrats and keep going!
You know, I hadn't thought of his support in that way. It is so hard to take the boys out. And after he and I discussed it, he told me he was also concerned about it being too hot outside for them.. It was 88 degrees when I went to walk.
__________________


One for every 10lbs lost!


1st Mini Goal: -26lbs
-Melissa
mel hughes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2009, 04:56 PM   #15
Senior Member
 
QuilterInVA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Yorktown, VA USA
Posts: 5,190

Default

I don't think you should depend on anyone else to exercise when you do. Exercise is your responsibility, the same as what you eat is. Leave the children with him and go for a walk.
__________________
Susan

HW 356 pounds - CW 135 - GW 137


Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
QuilterInVA is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:57 PM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2