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You know how I said I'd post a picture?

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Old 05-31-2009, 01:35 AM   #1
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Default You know how I said I'd post a picture?

Man, I said that like I thought it would be easy.

That was earlier this week, in this thread: Feeling sad (sorry, long).

But, of course, it isn't.

Even though I'm all dressed up and smiling and I was feeling good--right now I am embarrassed beyond being able to explain. But I don't have to explain, do I?

I want to take all those wonderful feelings back--I want to say, naaah, I never felt good this BIG. Look at those arms--they just hang there--good grief. It's appalling.

And I almost wouldn't post this except
1) I said I would.
2) I'm afraid you'll shudder in horror and think I was crazy for "feeling good" about my purchases but this is the last place on Earth I need be afraid of that reaction, right?
and 3) I need to. I've been in denial about the true state of affairs. I was about 205 (I think) when I quit smoking last October. I have gained 50 lbs, then in seven months.
I cannot believe this picture. I still want to deny that's me.

Ugh.
Here goes.
New capri pants, new top, new earrings (which you can't see) and new shoes with heels higher than I've worn since forever.
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File Type: jpg Dolled up May 30 crop 500h.jpg (27.8 KB, 242 views)
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Old 05-31-2009, 01:44 AM   #2
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You look really nice! I love that top, and you can definitely dress it up or down. I think you look great!
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Old 05-31-2009, 01:49 AM   #3
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you look very nice and I like your outfit. nothing to shudder in horror about here!

dont take back the wonderful feelings - you deserve those feelings! The one thing I regret at my highest weight is that I hated myself. HATED. disgusted. would not take pictures. sure I put on makeup.. and bought new clothing.. but it was casual stuff. not dressed up 'i feel good' type outfits. I WISH I had more grace towards myself in hindsight because I was my own worst critic and never deserved to feel so negatively about myself.

I bookmarked this link awhile ago when I realized the negative way I felt about myself wasnt really going away as I lost weight - you may be able to find somehting useful here:
Self-Esteem Tips
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Old 05-31-2009, 01:58 AM   #4
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Yay! Good for you. You look very nice!

I did take some before pictures and the horror is too awful to share with others right now. And I know that feeling all too well of getting dressed up and thinking you look pretty good considering only to see pictures later and want to cry. You will be so glad you have a starting picture to compare to later!

I have decided to take pictures (front, back, and side) and measure my waist at each of my 10% goals. You might take some measurements too...
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Old 05-31-2009, 02:04 AM   #5
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awww don't be down on yourself! and don't be down on people on here who'd kill to be 257 pounds!! Be as kind to yourself as you would other folks - if you hate that outfit don't wear it, find something more suited to your figure. Personally, i think the colour is really nice, and I always like to see bigger girls "making an effort" and not just schlepping around in sweats!
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Old 05-31-2009, 02:15 AM   #6
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Thank you for all the wonderful compliments.

Val--that is a great thread. Did you just bookmark it? Maybe I need to create a file folder just for 3FC threads--only I don't know how to do that in Firefox.

Quote:
I WISH I had more grace towards myself in hindsight because I was my own worst critic and never deserved to feel so negatively about myself.
Is that what it is--graciousness? I don't know. And, wow, I can tell you that absolutely, no kidding, you did not deserve to feel so badly about yourself and you shouldn't--no one should. But can I take that advice?

I keep typing and erasing, typing and erasing....I'm just going in circles here.

Quote:
and don't be down on people on here who'd kill to be 257 pounds!! Be as kind to yourself as you would other folks
oh, no, no, no, never. I'm just picking lint out of my (very deep) navel. I'm sorry if I offended anyone. This is just my reaction to me--it isn't meant to be personal about anyone else! I'm sure others at a lesser weight than I have had the same reaction when seeing themselves "larger than expected." In fact, I've read enough on here to know that's the case.
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Last edited by Alana in Canada : 05-31-2009 at 02:22 AM.
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Old 05-31-2009, 03:20 AM   #7
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Congratulations on having the courage to post - by that I mean that you felt you needed courage and did it, not that you needed it because you look lovely. And I'm so jealous that on you capri pants make your lower legs look slender and elegant and on shorter me they make my lower legs, which are also slender and elegant, look like a rugby player's!!!!!
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Old 05-31-2009, 07:35 AM   #8
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Hey! I don't think anyone here would be offended by your honest expression of how you feel about yourself. And you know, it is what it is--it's better to be realistic, I think.

But--you look really nice in that picture! The color of your top is just perfect for your skin tones. The outfit looks put together and so do you! And the best thing about it? You look confident, like you know you're lookin' good. Do you see how that comes through in your face? I think that's an important part of bringing out someone's attractiveness.

Hang in there--commit yourself to your weight loss plan! And good for you for being brave enough to post your photo!

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Old 05-31-2009, 08:57 AM   #9
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I know what you mean about being in denial.
I gained back 90lbs of the 125 lbs I lost 10 years ago and still can't believe what I look like in pictures.
You are much braver than me.
No way I'll post a picture of myself.

I think you have done well to only gain 50lbs when you stopped smoking.
Giving up cigarettes is very hard work and quite an accomplishment.

If you can quit smoking you can lose weight.

Sounds like you are making terrific progress
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Old 05-31-2009, 12:02 PM   #10
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I wish as looked as stylin as you when I weighed 250lbs (or 311 lbs). You look great.
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Old 05-31-2009, 12:32 PM   #11
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I must agree with the others you look very put together and pretty and if you didn't feel that day, practice, practice! and it will come, self love is something I think is more about doing than feeling sometimes. The feeling comes from the doing.

Also, no worries about the weight thing offending people either, heck I wish I offended myself at 170lbs so I didn't put the whole 50 back on. Seems I only offend myself at 220. We all have our point that it's too much and we hit our bottom, and everyone's is different.

And kudos on the smoking, I have 30lbs of determination and hutzpa on my butt from quitting too. There are so many similarities to quitting smoking and "quitting" bad food habits. Reworking behaviour patterns to not set yourself up, rehersing social situations where you know smoking will be a part of it and showers, I took so many showers (can't smoke in there!) and these are all things I use now with the food.

Have an awesome day!
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Old 05-31-2009, 12:46 PM   #12
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You are completely HAPPENING, chickee!!!! Your top matches your skin tone and I like the draping effect of the front. The pants ROCK...
You need to give yourself props for taking the photo and posting it, too, and for taking great care of yourself and for turning out quite nicely!

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Old 05-31-2009, 02:10 PM   #13
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It's a great pic! You are looking great and rocking a cute outfit. Even if you aren't where you want to be weightwise, you can still be happy with how you present yourself!
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Old 05-31-2009, 02:18 PM   #14
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Omg, I love that top!!!! The color and style is just awesome!!!
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Old 05-31-2009, 02:18 PM   #15
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I think you look beautiful! Thanks for sharing the photo!
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