3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > Support Groups > 100 lb. Club

How do you figure out what is your mental block?

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 05-27-2009, 02:49 PM   #1
Senior Member
 
avi0903's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Northeast
Posts: 249

S/C/G: 256/242.1/175

Height: 5'3"

Default How do you figure out what is your mental block?

Hi all - I can't believe I started here about 1-1/2 years ago, sometimes writing and sometimes just reading (always leaving a little wiser), but I weigh the same as when I started! I've been up and down about 10 pounds, always winding up at around 245-250. Why?!

I love reading and learning from you all who have walked or are still walking the journey of weight loss. What have you learned about mental blocks?

I, for example, have been in an unhappy marriage (recently ended) for 26 years. I always blamed my weight on my unhappiness, frustration, confusion, and truth be told, anger at myself due to staying in a marriage that didn't treat me right.

But now the marriage is over, and I'm still fat!! Why?

So I am back here, with you wise women (and men). What was your mental block? How did you get past it? How do I figure out mine?

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! for being here.
__________________



Last edited by avi0903 : 05-27-2009 at 02:51 PM. Reason: grammar
avi0903 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2009, 03:42 PM   #2
Senior Member
 
thinpossible's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Colorado
Posts: 730

Height: 4'11"

Default

I totally know where you're coming from I'm a 10lb yo-yoer too! Determined to change it this round!

What I found is when I'm not overeating, it becomes clear what my mental block is, because there's no extra food to suppress it. I don't even think it's really a necessity to figure out what your mental block is in order to lose weight. Even if you discover what your mental block is, it doesn't mean that you'll eat less or lose weight because there are a lot of other variables to weight loss besides emotional problems.

You just need to pick a plan you can stick to, and deal with the emotional stuff as it comes. You CAN do this!
__________________

Last edited by thinpossible : 05-27-2009 at 03:42 PM.
thinpossible is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2009, 03:49 PM   #3
Starting over
 
Alana in Canada's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 922

S/C/G: 257.8/242.4/135

Height: 5' 5"

Default

I hope you don't mind my chiming in here, even though I'm just starting my weight loss journey.

I cope with stress by eating. I used to cope with it by smoking--but I gave that up six months ago (Strangely enough because I wanted to be able to excercise and lose weight!) That is partly why I am fat.

I also have a lot of "poor-me I deserve-a -treat" issues, too. So, food is a consolation. There was a time when I also neeeded to stay up late at night and ate to stay awake--so I fell into horrible habits.

That's all. I need to find a way to handle my stress that doesn't involve food, break my late night eating habits and then find other "real" ways to treat myself. (That's the tough bit. I haven't figured out what to do just yet.)

The mental thing is the toughest thing about weight loss. How do you figure out what your "mental block" is?

Pay attention when you eat to what you eat and why. Keep a food journal for a week. I really think that's the best way--if that's really difficult then at least keeping a journal--10 minutes at the end of the day is an absolute must.
__________________
**************
my weight loss blog: http://mypsychemysoma.blogspot.com/



"Your best weight is whatever weight you reach, when you're living the healthiest life you actually enjoy." Yoni Freedhoff
Alana in Canada is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2009, 04:10 PM   #4
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: San Diego
Posts: 6,182

S/C/G: 200/Ethan born 1-11-13/130

Default

I figured out my block was around certain types of food. It took me 20 years to finally get that some white sugary carby foods trigger me to eat and eat and eat. Avoiding/limiting those foods reduced my cravings and turned me into a "normal" eater.

If you had told me 5 years ago I would live happily without bagels, muffins, scones, crackers, pretzels, cookies and chips I would have said NO WAY those are my FAVORITE foods, I need them to be happy.

Turns out, I don't. I thought I had a problem with food, I really just had a problem with some foods. Eliminating those foods freed me, from a jail I didn't even know I was in.

My life is not complete food austerity, I still have room for treats/indulgences, I just know I have to work to manage my trigger foods.

I always wanted to diet for a short time and then stop and be "normal" I finally had to realize that it was my "normal" way of eating that made me fat. Changing my normal was key for me. I love the way I live/eat now (well, 95% of the time, heh )
__________________
SIX YEARS at maintenance weight!

My very long weight loss story

"I saw an angel in the marble and I chiseled until I set it free."
Michelangelo

Last edited by Glory87 : 05-27-2009 at 04:11 PM.
Glory87 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2009, 04:25 PM   #5
One day at a time
 
Gekster's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Northen California
Posts: 252

S/C/G: 311/Ticker/175

Height: 5'6''

Default

I am very similar to Glory. For me it starts as just pure boredom, but then I go have a snack and that leads to me wanting more, like that food triggers me to have more. For some people it is chocolate, for me a big one is pasta. If I want a small snack I have some pasta thinking its healthy, but once that bowl is gone, I want more. I might be full, but I feel like I need more.

I am actually just realizing how bad my problem is. For me, I started journaling all the food I was eating and I starting seeing a pattern with certain foods leading me to have other foods. Also I started seeing what times of the day and during what activities I was snacking. For me, when I study, I am mostly reading and thinking, leaving my hands without something to do so I felt incomplete, so I would snack to give them something to do. Now that I have realized it I can become aware of it and instead of getting food, I just have water by me and end up sipping water instead of say,eating a chip. For other times I find things to keep my hands busy with like crafts or things.

Sorry for the rambling, but I wish you luck, you can do this!
Gekster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2009, 04:52 PM   #6
XOXO
 
Devsmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: In my mind.....
Posts: 958

S/C/G: 268/249/145

Height: 5'4"

Default

I don't know about a mental block and I haven't been on this journey long, but what I have discovered is that with every pound there is a certain amount of ME that is revealed to me. It can be scary, but I learn as much about me as possible. It makes me vulnerable and I haven't wanted to be and that's how I put the weight on-stuffing down the feelings I was too afraid, to timid to reveal. I had to understand that food could not console me, it was not my friend, it didn't and couldn't love me so I had to learn to love me, console me, be my own best friend. It has been tough, but rewarding and it has allowed me to not be afraid to lose this weight and let the world see ME
__________________




The past is over, now let's get it!
Devsmama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2009, 06:54 PM   #7
Never want to go back!
 
CLCSC145's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,804

S/C/G: 338.4/190.8/165

Height: 6 ft

Default

Your marriage may be over, but you have 26 years of practice at using food to cope with the ups and downs of your life. You need to consciously create new habits for dealing with what life throws at you that do not involve food. So easy to say, so hard to do!

I agree that journaling your food choices AND the feelings you are experiencing when you want to eat is a crucial first step. It takes a lot of attention being paid to every morsel and emotion (and the why behind each emotion) to uncover the motivation for eating. You may find that you were so used to eating your unhappiness away that you have forgotten, or never learned, how a happy, thin person eats.
__________________
CLCSC145 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2009, 07:52 PM   #8
Senior Member
 
avi0903's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Northeast
Posts: 249

S/C/G: 256/242.1/175

Height: 5'3"

Default

You are all so smart!!!! Each and every one of you has given me something to think about and work towards.

It is true that it takes time to learn our mental blocks, and possibly it is not even important to know my trigger, just to get moving and dieting.

I know I need to journal, I just make excuses, such as it's too much effort. But I think I am afraid of journaling, afraid losing, afraid that if I don't stuff myself I'll be faced with the real me, and then what? When I stop eating and using my excuses, then I have to live my life.

I'm getting so big I can hardly move anymore. I feel like now is my moment of truth, and it's pretty darn scary!

Thanks for listening.
__________________


avi0903 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2009, 08:10 PM   #9
Live with Intention
 
Pita09's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,100

S/C/G: 260.6/see ticker/160

Height: 5'7"

Default

Hi, I've just returned to 3FC...again. I haven't lost a pound and in fact have put on more than I care to admit. After some serious soul searching, I've come to accept that I'm a compulsive over-eater. I know that if I mindlessly eat, a trigger is switched on and away I go. I then go to bed where I will spend an hour or more berating myself for the useless, out-of-control creature I am. This has been going on for years and years. To say I'm sick of it is the biggest understatement of my life.

I've quit the job (a convenience store) that allowed my triggers to overeat run rampant. I'm back to weighing my food, using Fitday faithfully, and most importantly being VERY mindful of what I eat and why I eat. It's only been a couple of weeks, so I'm hardly crying victory, but I do have a new hope that I've never had before.
__________________
This is my final time 6/16/09


One for every 10lbs-->
Just when the caterpiller thought the world was over, it became a butterfly!
Pita09 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2009, 08:36 PM   #10
Senior Member
 
Windchime's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 2,089

Height: 5'11"

Default

I spent some years in an unhappy marriage as well. Now I've spent more years than I care to think about alone, with just a few superficial relationships here and there. For a long, long time, my thought about food was this: It's my only physical pleasure. I am not giving it up, because then I will truly have NOTHING that is physically pleasurable. No way to comfort myself when I'm lonely, nothing to look forward to on Friday night.

So I had to break through that thinking, and it was only when I got so sick with asthma, and so heavy that I could barely make it up the stairs at work that I decided I would have to find a way to get through life without clinging to unhealthy foods as my source of comfort. It wasn't easy; it was a decision that took a long time to make but I felt I had no choice.

And you know what....it was a great decision. I haven't lost a lot; only a few people have noticed. But *I* notice, and that's what's important. I just feel so much better that now I don't *need* to be comforted by food, because I don't feel bad in the first place! I realize that it was a vicious circle; I was overeating and feeling bad physically and mentally, so I would comfort myself with more food.

As some have said, once you change your habits, then your mental blocks will probably start to reveal themselves. And sometimes just marching forward and making a committment to stay on plan, day by day, will eventually disolve your mental blocks and they will become non-existant. A non-issue.

Hang in there.
__________________


Short-Term Goal


One dancer for each 5 lbs lost!
Windchime is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2009, 09:53 PM   #11
Senior Member
 
avi0903's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Northeast
Posts: 249

S/C/G: 256/242.1/175

Height: 5'3"

Default

Thank you all for offering understanding. And I know it's all true. I know I need to just make the commitment to taking it day by day. I know it's true that carbs are my trigger, that I am a carb addict. I know I need to do like you all who have been successful and just stop eating those evil, evil, carbs that I fool myself that they offer me comfort. I too think of them as my only physical comfort, and I look forward to them when I am alone at night after my kids are in bed, because I don't have anyone or anything else to comfort me.

I know you are all right. I know what I need to do. And I hate myself, but I know that after the kids are in bed in about an hour, that I am going to look through the kitchen to find something evil to eat.

I need help.
__________________


avi0903 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2009, 10:04 PM   #12
Never want to go back!
 
CLCSC145's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,804

S/C/G: 338.4/190.8/165

Height: 6 ft

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by avi0903 View Post
Thank you all for offering understanding. And I know it's all true. I know I need to just make the commitment to taking it day by day. I know it's true that carbs are my trigger, that I am a carb addict. I know I need to do like you all who have been successful and just stop eating those evil, evil, carbs that I fool myself that they offer me comfort. I too think of them as my only physical comfort, and I look forward to them when I am alone at night after my kids are in bed, because I don't have anyone or anything else to comfort me.

I know you are all right. I know what I need to do. And I hate myself, but I know that after the kids are in bed in about an hour, that I am going to look through the kitchen to find something evil to eat.

I need help.
I think you need to take a kinder approach with yourself. There is NO REASON to hate yourself or to think of certain foods as evil. They may be off limits for a while, but they are not evil and you are not a bad person for liking them.

Food has been my best friend for so long, so I also know what you mean about not having another source of comfort. How about trying just for tonight to be a comfort to yourself? Treat yourself with love and kindness. Take a long bath with some hot tea. Light some candles. Read a great book. Don't think about tomorrow, or the next day. Just getting through this evening without reaching for food for comfort. Come here and talk to us until you are ready for sleep. Put on a soothing CD or a favorite DVD and just hang out with yourself. Pull out a notebook and write down all of your feelings about choosing not to eat. Remind yourself that you are not withholding food to punish yourself, you are choosing not to eat anymore today because it isn't in the best interest of you and your health.

No self-hatred allowed!! You are a good person, worthy of being cared for by you.
__________________
CLCSC145 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2009, 10:07 PM   #13
Former Quitter
 
GirlyGirlSebas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 5,500

S/C/G: 310/310/180

Height: 5'7

Default

Welcome back, Pita!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pita09 View Post
I've come to accept that I'm a compulsive over-eater. I know that if I mindlessly eat, a trigger is switched on and away I go.
I've been playing with the same 10 pounds for the last 2 years. My problem is that I'm an emotional eater. Once I cave into the stress and emotions, I'm then stuck in a vicious cycle that is so very difficult to get out of. One day, I hope to break this horrible habit and beat this compulsion. Or, maybe I can hope for a nice 12 months of no stress.....Yeah, I know. I'm just dreaming!
__________________
- Rhonda

"Live the life you've always imagined." Henry David Thoreau


GirlyGirlSebas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2009, 10:49 PM   #14
XOXO
 
Devsmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: In my mind.....
Posts: 958

S/C/G: 268/249/145

Height: 5'4"

Default

You can't hate yourself, you may not like the choices you make, but you have to love who you are as a person right now. Just take your time, make the commitment and take it moment by moment, everything will be okay.
__________________




The past is over, now let's get it!
Devsmama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2009, 07:06 AM   #15
3 + years maintaining
 
rockinrobin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 12,070

S/C/G: 287/120's

Height: 5 foot nuthin'

Default

For me, I finally got sick and tired of "trying to figure out" why I let myself get so fat. I had some issues, that's for sure. 1000% used food as a comfort and a stress/boredom/loneliness/depression alleviate-r and used food to deter men from me (molestation issues as a young child). I knew that though for a long time. So had I really "figured it out"? Not sure. I just knew that I wasted too much time on trying to figure out the why's. It was time. Time to just do it and get rid of the fat. It was no longer "helping" me. IT never was. It had to be easier to deal with the real me, then deal with being fat. Whatever "solution" the food/fat gave me, was most certainly not a good one. It was a poor, poor solution in fact. It brought on waaaaaaay more problems then it solved. Essentially, it got to be that I was MORE afraid to STAY fat, then to deal with any underlying issues. Known or unknown.

Just gonna throw out a few thoughts here.

-Your desire to be thin has to outweigh the desire for the food.
-When the pain of being fat overtakes the pleasure that derives from the food, that is when action can occur.
-We are all capable of losing the weight. Each and every one of us. We just have to want it badly enough and be willing to do whatever it takes. Wanting it in and of itself is not enough, it must be coupled with that willingness.
-Just because we want something doesn't mean we have to have it. Food is the last hold out of responsibility and maturity. We do lots of things when we're of age. We have our own homes, we run our households, pay the bills, do the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. We have families we are responsible for. Food is just another one of those things that we have to put up there and be responsible for.
-And yes, eliminating certain foods, the ones that you love the most, is a "great way to go". You allow yourself to "detox" from them. Drying up the wants, needs and desires for them.
-The first 9 - 10 days were brutal for me. Brutal. Didn't matter. You get through them. Because I made an ironclad commitment to do whatever it takes. After that initial period, it was amazingly easier. The longer I went without "those foods", the less and less I wanted them.
-Good thing is though, by eliminating many foods, it frees you up to ADD in many, many other DELICIOUS much more satisfying foods.
-You get into a groove, and it snowballs. And you feel marvelous. And it's like this huge, huge burden has been lifted from you. And then you wonder why the heck you didn't "do this" sooner. Why the heck you waited soooo long to overhaul your life and make the "change".

And finally -
You have to love yourself more then you love the food.

Last edited by rockinrobin : 05-28-2009 at 07:21 AM.
rockinrobin is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:57 PM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2