I've been lurking in the shadows of theis place for the last month and a half. I kind of went MIA when my Grandmother died. I still read and followed everyone elses progress but I was making none of my own. So like a big scaredy pants I didn't post. I now realise I have been doing much of the same things in my real life. I avoid people and don't have any real friends. I feel like I don't deserve them. i feel like who would want to be friends with me. Fat, boring, unsuccessful me?
Anyway I know all of this mind talk is BS and I can have the life and body I want I just have to work at it. I think I just now realised that I haven't been doing it because I don't feel worthy. I think that mentality has kept me from alot of things in life like friendship and success.
There has never been a point in which I stopped wanting this for myself but I dont think there has ever been point where I felt I deserved it either. I don't think I know how to feel that. I guess I just need to do it and the rest will follow?
Well, I have restarted my workouts. Walking 1 hour a day rain or shine. and trying so hard to eat better. I am REALY struggling with my eating. I do okay but not as well as I need to be. I have to work on my comfort eating at night.
So here's to a long and changing road to a new life. Cheers!