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I don't want to lose weight

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Old 04-29-2009, 05:34 PM   #1
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Default I don't want to lose weight

I wasn't sure if I should address this topic or not but I figured why not...

I've struggled for over a year with being happy with my weight. I have to admit that I am very happy with my weight. I'd like to lose more weight for various reasons but the true desire is not there. I've bounced around the same 10 lbs for over a year. Its not a plateau because I haven't truly been trying to lose weight.

So my current desire is to figure out what I can do to make myself want to lose weight. It is a bit hard to accept that I truly don't want it but I've thought about it for the past couple months and I know that is the problem.

So what can I do to want to lose weight? I figure there are a couple things including writing down reasons for losing weight.

Here is what I have so far
-Running will be easier
-Biking will be easier
-Hiking will be easier
-I will be able to do rock climbing
-I will be able to resize my wedding ring
-I will be able to fit in smaller clothes
-My feet may shrink more

None of those are really strong motivators. The rock climbing is probably one of the stronger ones as I really would like to learn.

Anyway, despite the lack of desire to lose weight, I started counting calories.
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Old 04-29-2009, 05:53 PM   #2
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Old 04-29-2009, 05:57 PM   #3
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Nelie -- Wow, I feel exactly the same way! When I started, nothing stopped me. I really wanted to lose. And I did -- over 100 pounds!

Now, I've gained back 25 pounds, and I know that the desire to LOSE just isn't there like it was before. And yet, I'm not really happy at my new weight (just under 200 pounds)... but happy enough... or perhaps more accurately, not *unhappy enough*

I feel like I've been in "fake it till you make it" mode for MONTHS. I count calories and do well for a while, and then I fall off the wagon a bit. Not badly, but enough to erase any losses (or create small gains)... It's so much harder to make the commitment when on some level I don't want it enough...
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Old 04-29-2009, 06:22 PM   #4
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Tough question. I was there for years. And, I think you are right - you really have to want it, and the reasons you listed are not compelling enough.

Only you can find the "trigger" that will work for you. For me it was several things.
1. health issues were starting to be a problem. The future looked bleak if I didn't act soon.
2. not being able to keep up with my kids when hiking, or even walking around town
3. wrist fat (yes that's right). I looked down at my little wrist and the big bulge of fat above it. It looked like someone had inflated a balloon and attached it to my wrist. Totally grossed me out. Why I never noticed it before is beyond me. I actually knew that I would be at my goal weight only when that bulge was gone.

Now, you won't find many that will agree with me, but I didn't have much luck with "fake it until you make it" mentality over the years. It seems that my mindset had to match my actions for me to really lose weight. Every time I tried in the past, and didn't have that real, honest, gut-level commitment - I failed.

For me to begin and then continue this journey, I had to have mind, body, and spirit working together. Two of the three just didn't do the job. And - getting to a place where all 3 are aligned and working toward the same goal can be really tough.

So, I encourage you to keep searching yourself to find what WILL motivate you. It might not happen today, or tomorrow, or even next month - which is OK. You have come so far, and have done so well. You can do things you couldn't do before and you should be thrilled with your progress. Maybe you are at your goal weight. Maybe not. Only you know the answer.
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Old 04-29-2009, 06:51 PM   #5
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I don't really have any advice on what can jump start you back into weight loss but it is funny that you post this. My ultimate goal is to lose 150 pounds but I was just thinking yesterday about how I feel like I will make it to 200 or a little below and get comfortable. 209-211 was always my weight range before I gained so much weight. That is the weight where I feel like me. I wonder if I will be experiencing something similar when I reach that weight.
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Old 04-29-2009, 07:06 PM   #6
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I know exactly what you mean. Right now I am at the lowest weight I've been in a long time (at least since I started paying attention to my weight a few years ago). I know I still have a lot to lose to be considered healthy, but I am so pleased with my accomplishment so far that I am getting complacent, and obviously, the scale is not budging.
I think one of the things is that I am afraid to step out of my comfort zone and not being/feeling invisible any more. I notice people are starting to interact with me a little differently now, and while it's pleasing, it's also a bit scary.
I think for me is going to boil down to having a sit down with myself and remember why I lost the first batch of weight in the first place:
-I want to get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy.
-I want to be a good example for my baby and instill good habits in him/her so that they don't have to suffer what I've gone through all my life.
-I was pre-diabetic and that actually hurt my kidneys and I am not out of the woods with that one yet. I've seen what diabetes can do and I don't want to suffer through that when I am older.
-The summer is coming and I still can't wear short sleeve shirts because my arms have a funny roll in them.

Now I have to keep digging and find some other things that are going to re-ignite the fire under my butt and help me going.
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Old 04-29-2009, 07:18 PM   #7
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Nelie, do it for your health, think of the problems obesity causes. High blood pressure, diabetes, strokes, heart problems, varicose veins just to name a few.
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Old 04-29-2009, 07:25 PM   #8
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You are an active person and you also eat a very healthy and varied diet. Therefore, most of the diseases and illnesses attritubed to being obese may not ever apply to you. However, the pressure of the added weight can cause horrible strain and damage to your joints. This is just basic physics and there really is no way around it. Over the years, this gets worse. This might be a biggie to add to your list if you want to be an active senior.

You and Heather have made amazing strides in conquering your weight and eating issues and I'm so sorry that both of your are struggling a bit. But, please realize that you do still have the desire or you wouldn't still be concerned about the lack of desire and you wouldn't still be reading and posting here on 3FC. Sometimes, it takes a bit of time to re-adjust. I understand. I've been maintaining a 30 pound loss for 2 years and have just recently found my motivation again. So, don't give up. Keep trying. As long as you keep trying, there is hope. One day, it will click for you again.
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Old 04-29-2009, 08:48 PM   #9
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you know something??? this might be controversial, but who says you HAVE to lose more? I know 200 pounds is too much, but you WERE 360 something, and you've lost 160 lbs. If you can maintain that weight loss for the rest of your life i think you're on easy street! if you can live with your lifestyle now, what would happen if you dieted down to 150 but couldn't take it and snapped and gained it ALL back?? it's happened to other people before!!! I say maintain your 200 lbs. vigilantly but maybe increase your exercise a bit and see what happens.
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Old 04-29-2009, 09:04 PM   #10
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I'm glad there are others that feel the same way.

I know the joints thing is an issue and the only possible health reason I could add. At my highest weight, I had horrid back pain and I also started to experience knee pain. My back pain has gone away and the knee pain is mostly gone away although some days I feel a little twinge.

Based on my diet, I don't believe I'm at risk for the usual obesity related diseases. I do have PCOS which of course is a pain and improves with weight loss but part of me thinks it'll never go away, no matter what weight I am.

I do feel better typing everything out.
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Old 04-29-2009, 10:46 PM   #11
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Can you maybe change your focus? Make an exercise goal that you want to achieve, for example, and then control your eating more to achieve that goal rather than lose weight, ie nutrition, good quality food, feeling good. Then when you're more inspired to lose weight, you can reduce your calories again.
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Old 04-29-2009, 11:04 PM   #12
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Whew! I can so relate to you Nelie (and Heather). Although I've lost lots of weight, I've regained 25 lbs from my lowest weight. I'm not particularly happy about it, but like Heather, I've not been unhappy enough to work at it again. In the last week, I've started counting and logging calories again - something I had stopped doing for a while. I have seen the scale drop some since then, but I don't have the mental weight loss glow that I had the first couple of years of weight loss.

I'm not sure how to get it back. I will have a day or two of gung-ho - back in the saddle - I can do this! kind of day, then it fades and I'm struggling all over again. I think the fact that my clothes are getting tight (and some feel too tight to wear) helped me get restarted tracking calories again.

Anyway, just wanted you to know that you aren't in it alone. Thanks for sharing your struggle.
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Old 04-29-2009, 11:26 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trazey34 View Post
you know something??? this might be controversial, but who says you HAVE to lose more? I know 200 pounds is too much, but you WERE 360 something, and you've lost 160 lbs. If you can maintain that weight loss for the rest of your life i think you're on easy street! if you can live with your lifestyle now, what would happen if you dieted down to 150 but couldn't take it and snapped and gained it ALL back?? it's happened to other people before!!! I say maintain your 200 lbs. vigilantly but maybe increase your exercise a bit and see what happens.
I was thinking the same thing the whole time I was reading nelie's original post. 160+ pounds lost is nothing to sneeze at.

You've come a very long way, baby, and been successful at maintaining the loss. That's an accomplishment in & of itself.
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Old 04-30-2009, 12:17 AM   #14
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Nelie,

Everyone has given you great responses, and I just wanted to chime in a little bit. I want to tell you that you don't have to wait to start climbing. I started climbing at 230 lbs (before I was pg, obviously) and fully intend to start climbing again regularly when the weather warms up enough. If your form is correct then your legs will hurt like heck, but it's great for building up those muscles. I say give it a shot and see what happens!
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Old 04-30-2009, 04:13 AM   #15
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I agree with Couch, why not think of another type of goal rather than the scale? Don't worry about losing just now, but focus on habits and exercise goals. Maybe just weigh in every now and then to make sure that you don't gain.
Other than that personally I feel that motivation isn't everything. If you figure out the reasons (and they have to be good, like your health for instance, a big incentive) then go ahead and DO IT. Motivation comes and goes, but determination can stay forever.
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