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-   -   getting compliments (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/100-lb-club/170244-getting-compliments.html)

matt_H 04-27-2009 01:53 PM

getting compliments
 
I mentioned some recent weight loss on a separate blog (where I rarely talk about weight loss) and someone that I know *in real life* said "it definitely is noticeable that you lost weight, but I didn't know a good way to say something or if I should have said something at all".

This isn't the first time that someone mentioned to me that they are uncomfortable telling someone that they look like they lost weight. Would anybody be offended if someone told you that you that you look like you lost weight? Maybe people are just afraid of saying it because the entire subject of weight is something that you aren't supposed to discuss? Is it because mentioning someone looks like they lost weight implies that they *needed* to lose weight (indirectly calling someone fat!) :D

Maybe I'm in the minority, but whenever someone tells me it looks like I lost weight, I feel pretty good :).

Do weight loss compliments bother you or make you uncomfortable? Is it is something that is best left unsaid?

Trazey34 04-27-2009 02:10 PM

I can't help myself! when someone looks great i have to say it :) I try my best to do it when we're alone as a lot of people hate a bunch of people staring at them after someone says "wow you look awesome !! you're wasting away!"

For myself, I love it when people notice!

willow68 04-27-2009 02:13 PM

i love compliments!

though i do sometimes think then: did i really look that bad? was it that obvious?

well, and then i have to admit that yes, i did look bad and it was obvious that i was/am obese...

it depends on who says it and when/where. i appreciate it more when people tell me in private.

WhitePicketFences 04-27-2009 02:14 PM

"You look like you lost weight" ~ that's very cool with me.

The only thing I wouldn't like is a fuss that goes on too long. Partly because I am still fat.

Though when I was skinny, I was the same way. Appreciative comment on my looks ... good. In-depth analysis of my body going on at someone's wedding or funeral ... creepy! Older female relatives are often the ones to do it. My husband's grandmother will note everything down to the littlest detail. I had more of a tan last time she saw me, etc etc.

Thighs Be Gone 04-27-2009 02:14 PM

matt..some shy away from giving comments about weight because they are afraid to insinuate you had a real issue with weight before..

honestly, I never, ever took them that way and don't take them that way...when someone I feel positive about says something to me my standard response is, "hey, thank you so much for noticing, I appreciate it".....I only HATE, HATE, HATE people that come talking to me about my body that have been ugly to me in the past.....the true CATS of the world!!! I do my best and then sllliiinnnnnk away! Hehehehe

luvmy3 04-27-2009 02:22 PM

I love hearing that I look like I've lost weight.Sometimes I don't notice but when someone else does it makes me open my eyes a little wider.

matt_H 04-27-2009 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luvmy3 (Post 2715940)
I love hearing that I look like I've lost weight.Sometimes I don't notice but when someone else does it makes me open my eyes a little wider.

Its definitely hard visually to notice your own weight loss outside of how your clothes fit. The only way for me is by looking at a picture.

I do like the compliments though and will not be offended :) Last week at work someone told me I looked good and was very cool.

TJFitnessDiva 04-27-2009 02:41 PM

I love compliments....it's the "compliments" from the people I know don't mean them that way that gets me mad ;)

Kae 04-27-2009 02:47 PM

Compliments are great... I haven't had any come my way yet (from anyone other than my mom and sister- who see what I eat everyday and live with me)... but hopefully when I get closer to 50 lbs down. :)

beerab 04-27-2009 03:12 PM

I usually say "hey you look great, have you lost weight?"

Wynter 04-27-2009 03:30 PM

Hey Matt, the only time I'm uncomfortable with a compliment is when someone says "You're really looking good! How much have you lost now?" and I know I've been slacking off and haven't lost anything. Otherwise, bring 'em on! I LOVE compliments when I deserve them.

teahoney 04-27-2009 03:53 PM

I love compliments. As it turns out, I am smiling from ear to ear because my next door neighbor just asked if I'm losing weight. Made me feel good as I have been working my butt off.

kiramira 04-27-2009 04:38 PM

I have mixed feelings about compliments:
I LOVE it when people notice my weight loss and say something like "you look great!"
I HATE it when people add something like "SO much better that you did before"
and I ALSO hate it when people compliment me but marginalize the effort that it took to get there (like my dear SIL God Love Her), like "it is amazing what going to the gym 3 times a week can do!" (while refusing to acknowledge the effort it takes to control one's diet for long periods of time to get the kind of results that I have experienced...)
Kira

Rosinante 04-27-2009 04:46 PM

I love compliments and, at 31lbs gone in 3 months, I am SO looking forward to my first one! OK, my hairdresser asked if I'd lost weight at 22lbs but they're kind of paid to ask, aren't they??? lol

I think people worry about complimenting sometimes because
maybe we're thinner because we're sick
maybe they don't want to imply we looked like dogs before
maybe they're envious, sometimes it's really hard to compliment someone for doing what we know We should be doing

thinpossible 04-27-2009 04:53 PM

I like when people tell me I look good, but I don't want people complimenting me on my weight. To me, that's a private issue.

Well, actually I take it back. I don't mind people asking if I've lost weight. It's the "how much" "what are you doing" "I lost 20 lbs and I did it this way..." "what's your goal" "don't lose any more weight" etc., and all the other baggage that accompanies weight loss that bothers me.


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