I think we have to look at the situation in terms of things we can control and things we can't. We can control the things we put in our mouth, the amount of exercise we do.. so as far as the weight loss this is in our hands. And we have to remember that with every bite we take and every step we take. You are the boss of those choices.. so when you opt for a salad instead of a Big Mac that is all YOU. No one can take that away from you unless you're in a hostage situation and are force fed fries and coke.
As for the other stuff.. losing jobs, losing houses, to some extent those things are not in our control. But what is in our control is our reaction to them. If tomorrow you lose your job, do you mope about it and go into a deep depression and let it get your completely down or do you get a little pissed off and try and show the world that a job loss can't take you down. You look for a new job, you look for new opportunities.. you re-evaluate your budget and look at how you can make due with what you have.
I'm not the most optimistic person in the world, but I know what things are in my hands, and what things are not. I worry A LOT about stupid things.. not even things like jobs, I'm talking about really stupid things.. and this is the only thing I know that helps me work myself out of the constant worries I have.
I tend to be a pessimist. I keep myself from succeeding because of it. I've just come to realize this in the last five years. It kept me from losing weight for more than twenty years. I was so sure I couldn't do it. Since I started the weight loss I have focused on keeping my negative thoughts under control. I keep reminding myself that I am in control of the situation. It has made a world of difference for me. You can do it too! Don't let yourself keep you from a healthy life. If you stumble you can get yourself back up and back on track.
I can relate! I am super hard on myself and give up soooo easily when I am not perfect or become frustrated. This pertains to all aspects of my life, not just weight loss. Realizing that I am the one who controls my thoughts has been really big for me over the last few weeks and even months. But, sometimes I slip and the thoughts control me. I guess it takes practice to fully get a grip on negative thoughts after having them for so many years.
Last edited by Sunrose; 04-22-2009 at 01:46 PM.
Reason: Typo!
I totally agree with paper skin. I never realized before how much control I actually have over my weight. I always just said that I am fat, I have no control over my over eating, and thats just the way it is. I am so happy that I have finally taken control over this! but, the things we can't control do tend to drive me nuts at times. I am a worrier. I wish I wasn't. But, you aren't alone with your feelings. I feel this way too. Like ok things are going too good, something bad is on its way. Its superstition I think
I think we have to look at the situation in terms of things we can control and things we can't. We can control the things we put in our mouth, the amount of exercise we do.. so as far as the weight loss this is in our hands. And we have to remember that with every bite we take and every step we take. You are the boss of those choices.. so when you opt for a salad instead of a Big Mac that is all YOU. No one can take that away from you unless you're in a hostage situation and are force fed fries and coke.
As for the other stuff.. losing jobs, losing houses, to some extent those things are not in our control. But what is in our control is our reaction to them. If tomorrow you lose your job, do you mope about it and go into a deep depression and let it get your completely down or do you get a little pissed off and try and show the world that a job loss can't take you down. You look for a new job, you look for new opportunities.. you re-evaluate your budget and look at how you can make due with what you have.
I'm not the most optimistic person in the world, but I know what things are in my hands, and what things are not. I worry A LOT about stupid things.. not even things like jobs, I'm talking about really stupid things.. and this is the only thing I know that helps me work myself out of the constant worries I have.
Thank you for sharing this. You are completely right! If I focus on what I can control and how I react to the things I cannot control, then that is all I can do. I have to let the rest go!
This was a really cool thread to read. I think everyone in the world has some psychological problems, it’s how they deal with them that matters. How they are manifested can be hidden a lot of times, ours just happen to show for the whole world to see. I started working in the mental health field 5 years ago, and I’ve really really learned a lot about myself and my weight. A lot of people say “oh I just eat too much”. Yes, if you’re 20 pounds overweight you overindulge too much. If you’re 150 pounds overweight, there’s something else there! I’ve read on here from various posters that this or that doesn’t matter, it’s all about the commitment. I agree up to a point. But I can commit to anything for a while, even years; but if I never worked on the underlying niggling little problems, eventually the wheels would fall off and I’d be right back to square one. Maybe not soon, but eventually and inevitably. I thought my emotional digging would be easier than most – there was no neglect or abuse as a child, nothing untoward ever happened to me, I had a happy childhood and a happy adult life. I had the best luck finding my true love, my first boyfriend and we’re still together 20+ years later and more in love than ever. My problems were definitely “Spoiled Brat Syndrome” or SBS lol, where I felt entitled to eat whatever I wanted and damn the consequences. I had people who loved me, a lot of friends and good life – what did it matter if I was fat? Who cares? I finally decided that I cared, that I wanted to live past 60 years and have a good quality of life. So the past few years I’ve been beating the spoiled brat within into submission I’ve always loved myself and had good self-esteem, and I thought a way to spoil myself was with food treats. I see now that it’s the same as feeding your dog til the poor thing can’t walk and his hips hurt! So I’ve stopped indulging my every whim with food and thought about WHY I felt I needed a treat, instead of ME needing the treat maybe I needed to do something for another person – it’s a great ‘high’ and no calories!! I've stopped making excuses, as in "oh i have to eat this or that or so and so will be disappointed" LOL as if anyone cares what i eat! No One is responsible for what goes in my pie hole but ME!!!! This whole thing definitely is a discovery journey, but one that’s really worth while and necessary to permanent change – in my humble opinion at least
I’ve read on here from various posters that this or that doesn’t matter, it’s all about the commitment. I agree up to a point. But I can commit to anything for a while, even years; but if I never worked on the underlying niggling little problems, eventually the wheels would fall off and I’d be right back to square one. Maybe not soon, but eventually and inevitably.
This is SO true! The good news for me however, is that I have realized that I don't have to wait to start losing weight just because I haven't worked out all my mental stuff. I can start making healthy changes and work on dealing with my issues at the same time. I have even found that taking the first steps in making healthy choices and beginning weight loss actually helps me to feel better about myself and to have the courage to take a look at and address some of the psychological stuff. Now that I'm thinking about it, I don't know if I could have even started this thread when I was at my highest weight, because the issue wasn't up at a conscious level like it is now.
The good news for me however, is that I have realized that I don't have to wait to start losing weight just because I haven't worked out all my mental stuff. I can start making healthy changes and work on dealing with my issues at the same time. I have even found that taking the first steps in making healthy choices and beginning weight loss actually helps me to feel better about myself and to have the courage to take a look at and address some of the psychological stuff.
yah ditto! excellent point - that's why it's taken me close to two years to lose 75 lbs, I feel a little discouraged sometimes that it's not more, but i've been doing a lot of soul searching work those two years at the same time!!! you're absolutely right that they can be done in tandem!
I’ve always loved myself and had good self-esteem, and I thought a way to spoil myself was with food treats. I see now that it’s the same as feeding your dog til the poor thing can’t walk and his hips hurt! So I’ve stopped indulging my every whim with food and thought about WHY I felt I needed a treat, instead of ME needing the treat maybe I needed to do something for another person – it’s a great ‘high’ and no calories!! I've stopped making excuses, as in "oh i have to eat this or that or so and so will be disappointed" LOL as if anyone cares what i eat! No One is responsible for what goes in my pie hole but ME!!!! This whole thing definitely is a discovery journey, but one that’s really worth while and necessary to permanent change – in my humble opinion at least
