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Old 03-10-2009, 04:19 AM   #1
Starting Again
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Lightbulb Someone's misery reminds me of my joy.

A friend of mine from work today started crying when she passed me in the hall. As anyone would do, I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She is a World of Warcraft Widow, and was lamenting what an *** her husband has been lately. Not just about the video game, but about the attention he hasnít paid to her lately. Apparently my friend got super dressed up last week to go out on a date with her husband, only to have him not comment on her effort. For an entire week she tried wearing lingerie to bed and initiating sex, only to have him rebuff her and retire to the computer for a video game. ďI donít think Iím asking for a lot, I just want to know my husband finds me attractive,Ē she said. I did all I could by telling her she was beautiful and giving her a hug in the few minutes we had to chat. But even though my heart was breaking for my friend, I couldnít help but feel grateful for what I had at home.

Here was a woman, who is the mother of 6! who still looks great and has taken great care of herself. At 38, she looks better than women 10 years her junior. She is always dressed in stylish and flattering clothes and does her best to make a good home for her family. With 6 kids! Iím surprised she manages to shower every day much less get dressed to the nines for date night. But yet, she has a husband that doesnít realize he has a beautiful, sexy woman dying for his attention and would rather play video games than have sex with her. And here I am. A woman who has definitely ďlet herself goĒ, always has a sink full of dirty dishes and folded laundry on the dining room table and would rather wear sweats and ratty t-shirts than even look in a lingerie catalog, but I have a husband who canít keep his hands off of me. For so long I have beaten myself up over the fact that my body looks nothing like it did when my husban met and fell in love with me, and convinced myself that he was somehow turned off by the sight of my flabby body, and yet tonight while I changed out of my work clothes I caught him watching me and smiling THAT smile at me. (sorry, I know that may be TMI).

So often we get caught up in what our shell looks like, but true love loves what is inside the shell. For the moment I am taking a lesson from my husband and loving the inside a little more. I will continue to work on the shell, but it is only a small measure of who I am.
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Old 03-10-2009, 06:11 AM   #2
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Amazing. Congratulations on having such a fantastic husband - and for your self-realization!

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Old 03-10-2009, 08:15 AM   #3
One day at a time!
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What wonderful insight! We all need to count our blessings.

Persistence is more important than Perfection

Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential. - Winston Churchill
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Old 03-10-2009, 08:24 AM   #4
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Kuddos for your DH, mine also deserves a few he is the same way!! I am forever grateful.

Mini Goal- 5lbs by June 15th
Try again 5lbs by July 4th
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Old 03-10-2009, 08:29 AM   #5
Shairing her ESH...
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It's interesting how these little reminders come to us.....it also reminds us that even the ones that appear "all together" most usually aren't....
One day at a time is more than just a saying.....
First goal: Back under 300!
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Old 03-10-2009, 10:41 AM   #6
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How sad for your friend. I'm glad that you have such an attentive DH though!
This time, I'm going to be stronger, I'm not giving in. - Rudimental
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Old 03-10-2009, 10:45 AM   #7
started 1/28/08
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Your DH sounds wonderful - enjoy him!

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Old 03-10-2009, 11:24 AM   #8
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World of Warcraft is the devil. Kudos to your hubby!
"They laugh because I am different...I laugh because they are all the same", unknown]
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Old 03-10-2009, 11:27 AM   #9
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I am so happy that you have found such a wonderful husband. I feel very blessed as well. I really hope things with your friend and her husband work out.

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Old 03-10-2009, 11:32 AM   #10
Keep on Keepin' ON
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Thank you for this thread. WOW is the devil. I know a number of WOW Widows.

You offer a really wonderful perspective though and I just wanted to say thank you. It sounds like you are very blessed and on that I can relate.

Here's sending hopeful thoughts into the universe for your friend!
Back on the wagon after almost 2 years of getting lost in depression and just trying to keep my head above water. Switching up my approach and going Low-Carb. Loving it so far!

Weight as of 1/1/14: 179.4
First mini-goal: 174.4, 5lbs down
Second mini-goal:169.4, 10 lbs down
Third mini-goal: 165 (Doctor's target weight for me)

Will re-evaluate from there!

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Old 03-10-2009, 12:18 PM   #11
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I jokingly call myself a WoW widow, but I'm not.

The husband is good at pretty much only playing when I'm studying. And he does most the cooking/laundry/dishes/earning the money. So it's not always the devil ;>
Over-Educated Drug Dealer...and aspiring lounge singer
Looking for zen in all the wrong places
I want to climb mountains
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Old 03-10-2009, 09:43 PM   #12
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Three cheers for your hubby!!!

I am an Everquest2 (similar to WOW) widow for the most part. I totally understand what your friend is going through.
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Old 03-10-2009, 11:20 PM   #13
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Wow! Thanks so much for sharing this story. You are absoltely right and I have much food for thought now. Thanks again!

"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass but learning to dance in the rain."

"We are never a failure unless we give up." KEEP GOING!!!!
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Old 03-11-2009, 12:07 PM   #14
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Well-written. I think what's even worse than WOW widows are WOW orphans (or Halo or whatever). Sometimes it's not really a joke. But I wish every woman could realize that men like your husband are out there.
Started 4/14/08 LINK TO PROGRESS PICS 1/1/2009
"It is impossible to live pleasurably without living wisely, well, and justly, and it is impossible to live wisely, well, and justly without living pleasurably" Epicurus

Last edited by JulieJ08; 03-11-2009 at 12:07 PM.
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Old 03-11-2009, 09:09 PM   #15
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in juno, towards the end of the movie the father says the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ***. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with. For some reason I take great comfort in that. The right person will love you no matter what, for whats inside. And I am happy you found that person I hope your friend does
Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming....

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