I need to clarify. I mean in person comments made by co-workers, who are in effect, strangers. I don't mean comments made by friends or family. And as always, I am speaking about how I feel about my weight loss. If people want to put their before, during, and after pictures on a highway billboard, that, of course, is their perogative. To me, support from a weight loss community is diffferent froma comment from the person in accounting.
I need to clarify. I mean in person comments made by co-workers, who are in effect, strangers. I don't mean comments made by friends or family. And as always, I am speaking about how I feel about my weight loss. If people want to put their before, during, and after pictures on a highway billboard, that, of course, is their perogative. To me, support from a weight loss community is diffferent froma comment from the person in accounting.
I totally get this.
I remember when I was losing I got tons of comments like "you look great!". Which was fine because I could just say, "thank you".
But I also got "you must feel fabulous", which is harmless I suppose, but is also making an assumption about someone to their face. The truth was, I didn't feel all that fabulous- at least not all the time. I didn't know how I felt actually. Some days I felt exhausted by the whole thing. My body was working hard to morph into something that it had never been in my entire life. I was trying to just navigate through the process and the changes going on mentally AND physically and people I hardly knew were telling me how fabulous I must be feeling.
But I also got "you must feel fabulous", which is harmless I suppose, but is also making an assumption about someone to their face. The truth was, I didn't feel all that fabulous- at least not all the time. I didn't know how I felt actually. Some days I felt exhausted by the whole thing. My body was working hard to morph into something that it had never been in my entire life. I was trying to just navigate through the process and the changes going on mentally AND physically and people I hardly knew were telling me how fabulous I must be feeling.
Interesting perspective, and it does make sense to me. I know I've said that to many on these boards when they post mini-goals and such
Interesting perspective, and it does make sense to me. I know I've said that to many on these boards when they post mini-goals and such
I don't think it's offensive or anything. I just didn't know how to respond to a comment like that. It made me question how I *should* be feeling, you know? Also, by saying I must feel great now, should I have not felt great before? I know it was a harmless question, but it raised more questions within me than the person who asked probably intended.
This thread mad me wonder...How do you respond when they say "How much weight have you lost?" When I get to goal I will have lost somewhere in the 200 range. Announcing that would be like do the math - I was well over 300. I don't mind posting that here - but announcing it to everyone...not so much.
This thread mad me wonder...How do you respond when they say "How much weight have you lost?" When I get to goal I will have lost somewhere in the 200 range. Announcing that would be like do the math - I was well over 300. I don't mind posting that here - but announcing it to everyone...not so much.
I reply 'A lot' and it's always been dropped. I can tell, by their fidgeting that they want to press the subject - but I'm the master of the cold, icy stare.
Today was one of those days where I saw a bunch of people I haven't seen in awhile. I got a ton of questions: How did you do it? How much did you lose? And my favorite (in FRONT of a patient I was rounding on!): Wow, you're wasting away. Umm, thanks, now can I assess my patient? It's just odd....There's a time and a place.....
The lack of boundaries is fascinating.
And lately I've started answering the "How much have you lost?" question with, "A bunch." No one needs to know any more than that (other than the 3FC family)
For the most part, I'd vote for "vague". They'll obviously be able to tell that you're a lot slimmer; do they really NEED the number?
An exception might be if an acquaintance comes to you in the spirit of confidentiality, seeking help. If someone came to me (after my successfull loss, of course! and truly wanted inspiration and encouragement to begin his/her own journey, then I might be inclined to share more specifically. I would probably tell my best friend if it came up; I can trust her to be truly supportive and not all gushy and spotlight-y about it. But yeah, for the most part, I would probably just say something vague, like "a few pounds."
and truly wanted inspiration and encouragement to begin his/her own journey, then I might be inclined to share more specifically. I would probably tell my best friend if it came up; I can trust her to be truly supportive and not all gushy and spotlight-y about it. But yeah, for the most part, I would probably just say something vague, like "a few pounds."
