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ugh SO bummed!!!

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Old 02-18-2009, 08:55 AM   #1
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Default ugh SO bummed!!!

I ran into a woman who was secretly my weight loss hero -- she managed to lose 130 lbs. over 5 years ago, became a personal trainer after being inactive most of her life, ran 1/2 marathons, did all sorts of amazing things....

except now she's gained it ALL back PLUS 20 pounds she said!!! OMG it's heartbreaking AND terrifying!!! My biggest fear staring me in the face!!!

I wasn't going to mention it (much like no one mentioned Oprah was getting fat lol) but she brought it up and said she wasn't sure what happened, something snapped one day and she started eating and didn't stop for a year.

ugh I can't go thru this AGAIN nooooooooooooo once this weight is gone i want a "no return policy"

that's TWO people I know that have lost 100lbs.++ and gained it back What horrified me most was the person I was walking with when I met her (after she'd gone) kind of snickered and said "doesn't it feel good to have lost weight while she gained?" and I looked at her like WTF????? are you CRAZY????? who on earth would WISH that on someone, let alone a friend of sorts?? It made me look at HER with new eyes...

wow sorry for the morning rant!!!
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Old 02-18-2009, 09:02 AM   #2
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It's sad to see, but I look at it as motivation.
They fell off but it makes you more determined to keep off the weight!
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Old 02-18-2009, 09:16 AM   #3
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That really scares me too. Heck I cant even make it through losing over 30 lbs without gaining it back. Makes you think.......
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Old 02-18-2009, 09:29 AM   #4
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That would be sad... but it happens quite often. If anything, running into her should be new motivation to stay on track. Anyone can fall off the wagon but we just have to make sure we get back on...
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Old 02-18-2009, 09:57 AM   #5
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Just like you don't have to be fat if you don't want to be - you don't have to gain the weight back if you don't want to! Period. End of story. Eating healthy is a choice. Always has been, always will be. That will never change. As long as you keep on making the decision to be healthy and eat right - you will keep the weight off.

And by the way, I'm scared too. I use that fear to my advantage. It keeps me vigilant and NON-complacent. The second you stop being scared IMO, is the second you "relax" and stop being on top of your weight and 5 lbs becomes 10 , becomes 20, becomes.......

I hope your friend finds her way back.

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Old 02-18-2009, 10:01 AM   #6
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the snickering friend clearly hasn't got a clue.

I'm the same kind of awful warning as the other lady tho:

lost 106lbs between 2002-2004
went on holiday with my platonic man friend, kept getting mistaken for husband and wife, which neither pleased nor offended me but For The First Time In My Life I felt his equal, appearance wise, I didn't feel ashamed.

I didn't pig out on holiday but I did eat 'normally' - what I call normally anyway, not concentrating on every portion size.

I'd got down to 136 by that holiday (September). By December I was 168 (I'm sure many here won't say, like doctors do, how can you possibly gain so much in such a short time?) but compared to how I looked at 242, I was still way hot! and still felt healthy too.

I took a winter city break in FEb 07 at 179lbs, and felt then - and still think now when I look at the photos - that I looked 'bonny'.

Then suddenly it was the end of jan 09 and I'm 225lbs, how the hek did that happen? It feels so stupid to say that I didn't notice, especially when I had to keep buying new shirts for work.

That's twice in my life now I've lost it and gained it
in my late 20s (and then I made it to 112)
in my late 40s

take me and that other lady as an awful warning, it is SOOOOO easy to slip back.
I'm trying my best to promise that in my mid 50s I will do it once and for all.

Good luck (and well done so far!)
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Old 02-18-2009, 10:01 AM   #7
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I'm also a big believer that a healthy dose of good old fashioned fear is a good thing where this is concerned.

Still, it's incredible disheartening to hear something like this. Good for her for talking about it. Hopefully she can pick herself up again.
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Old 02-18-2009, 10:09 AM   #8
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I'm so sorry to hear about your friend gaining the weight back. I agree that fear does have it's place and can be somewhat motivating.

I wouldn't wish weight gain on anyone--especially not anyone I had positive feelings toward.
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Old 02-18-2009, 10:14 AM   #9
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I will raise my hand and say been there done that-at least 3 other times. Lost a significant amount of weight, only to have it come back on. I was also in a situation where I heard a person comment on the fact that I had lost a lot of weight but now look at her, she is so fat. You don't forget those kind of comments. For me, my own personal reasons for gaining it back:

1) I looked at it as a "diet" not a lifestyle change. Therfore, when I completed the diet I went back to eating what I wanted when I wanted. You can see how well that turned out

2) Being complacent (almost cocky I would say). Much like Oprah, I stopped paying attention to what I was doing and it just crept on. The first 10 pounds became 20 became 30-you get the picture.

This time, fear is a HUGE factor as well as finally acknowleging the fact that this is a lifestyle change.
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Old 02-18-2009, 10:20 AM   #10
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If you are someone who has become obese, then you will always have to pay attention to what you are doing with food. That's just a given. The old ways are what got us into this place to begin with. Why would anyone think it's OK to slack off and go back there?

Yup, the relationship with food has GOT to change...

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Old 02-18-2009, 10:21 AM   #11
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I know I won't gain the weight back. In a couple months, it'll be my 5 year marker of when I started and although I've had periods of time where I've stopped losing weight and I've even gone up a few pounds at times but really nothing major. I would agree that you just have to not get complacent. It also certainly helps to ensure that you are making a lifestyle change rather than following a 'diet'.
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Old 02-18-2009, 12:04 PM   #12
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It is THAT FEAR that keeps you from gaining it back. You have to know - every day - that you don't get a free pass from weight issues forever just because you lost some once. You have to KNOW that, at any point, something could tip and you'd have to bring it back.

Knowing THAT, you can fight it. But denying it is a ticket back to where you were. I remind myself of it EVERY DAY.
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Old 02-18-2009, 12:25 PM   #13
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It's scary. A couple years ago, I had started to gain back weight after losing almost 80 pounds. I put back on about 30 and was getting that really desperate feeling again. I realized that I had to *stop* the cycle of lose/gain/lose/gain.

I began losing again, and I live with the fact that I could so easily regain all the weight I have lost. Even though I have totally changed my lifestyle, I could slip back into it. Every holiday or family affair is testament to that. It's vigilance and respecting yourself enough to do what needs to be done.
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Old 02-18-2009, 12:40 PM   #14
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I've been on both sides of that and now I'm in the middle somewhere. It's hard and it sucks. You can never let your guard down. You can't think "I will let it go for one week" because it will go all right. I can gain 10 to 15 lbs in one week no problem. I've never been able to lose it like that. This is a depressing scary topic but we just need to keep doing the right things and keep on taking it one day at a time.
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Old 02-18-2009, 01:23 PM   #15
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I'm not sure what my thoughts are on someone who goes so far and gains it back, and how I would relate that to myself - but I am so disturbed over your friend being happy someone gained the weight back. I mean, I'm sure it's because she's pushing away her own pain, but I just hate that attitude. We have to be on each other's side, not in competition.
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