I've not given up, my attitude is so different this time but I find that I keep going up and down. I did the calorie counting for 5 days and then the weekend hit and I craved chocolate, I couldn't stop thinking about it and I made cookies on Sunday. I've eaten a lot of cookies.

Last week I made a appointment to see my nurse that the weight loss clinic and just saw her this morning and now I"m going to see her every two weeks just to I can stay on track, stay focused and be accountable.

I'm thinking I have huge issues with food control, my dad basically controled my food my whole live and put me on diets when I was growing up. So once I moved out I never went on a diet again but now I'm trying to change my ways and learn to eat right and I'm finding it very difficult to do the meal planning and calorie counting and sticking to it. So my plan is to plan at least one full day a week or a few dinners a week, this does not give me the option to just eat what I want on the other days I'll still eat healthy and within portions but I'm thinking I have to take this slower to overcome the control issues. I want to succeed at this and do this long term. My attitude right now is never give up, never surrender!

My other goal is to get moving again, the last three weeks with being sick, my sons surgery and hurting my back just put this back and now I have to start back up and get moving. My other goal is to walk at least 3 times this week.

I also think I'll start posting on the accountability thread and work with that.

So I'm going to go plan my dinner for Friday night and maybe Sunday night.

You can do IT!!! Your plan sounds great and I truly hope that it works for you. Falling off the wagon is just as easy as getting back on it.
This, coming from a person who just drove past 3 of her favorite fast food places to come home and make a salad!

The only way to fail is to give up!!
Good Luck!

You CAN do this. Baby steps might just be what you need Keep plugging along because every single little change that you make is a change for the better. And all of those changes add up!!!

CS I do understand about controlling fathers these men seem to live in our heads. I know I used weight to protect myself from the hurt. Dealing with the issues caused by being his child has helped me greatly.
When we don't need this weight are efforts pay off.
Having your meetings will be good for you I do WW it lets me eat what and when I want and is teaching me to eat more healthy.
I wish you the best, Victoria
Mystyblue85 keep on driving. I have stopped and eaten just a jr burger and fry though it did not undo my plan I was so SICK the temptation is going going gone.

CS --- sorry to hear about your back and your son's surgery and that you have been sick. Great to see you back at the board!

It sounds like you have made some very positive steps and are getting a plan together that you can live with. Checking in with a nurse would be a big motivator! And remember, a different way to say "I am controlling my eating" is to say instead "I am allowing myself to be healthy."

Yay for you!

(By the way, your motto "Never give up, never surrender" --- is that from Galaxy Quest? I like it!)

I think this is great! When I first started losing weight, I met with a dietician every few weeks, then once a month, then every few months. It was not so much about the nutritional advice as it was about the accountability. I had someone else that I was reporting to, someone else's expectations to meet, and that helped me. Also, her matter-of-fact support and belief that I could do it was so different than what I would have gotten from the people in my life, who naturally had certain views about who I was and what I was capable of. So if it works the same way for you, I think you will find your appointments with your nurse to be very helpful in that those respects.

You know, majority of the time that people just jump into it and decide to go completely to healthy food, no slipups, working out every day, no days off, etc - they end up giving up and not doing it anymore.

If you ease into things you're much more likely to stick with it! Just keep up this attitude, and I have no doubt you'll get there!

With WW I did one healthy guideline until it was a habit. Then added the next. It has to be part of your life something you can do for ever. I know I would not drink the lemonade diet for ever or eat cabbage

CS-You can do it ! I beleive you are ready and have you mind made up! Good Luck Girl !!!!!!

Mysty - Way to go on the drive by!!

Thank Victoria, it is hard to forget the things feed to you when you are growing up but I'm finding it easy to face as the years go by.

"I'm allowing myself to be healthy." I love this, it's similar to my mantra I say to myself. THank Numina. I do think Never GivUp Never surrender is from Galaxy Quest, I never thought of that.

It's funny7 because my nurse said if we have more regular visits she can be nasty and give me a hard time. If you kew this nurse, you'd know htat she could never be nasty. She's very supportive, gives great advice and tells it like it is in a very positive manner. We live in a small town, under 2000 people, I've known her maybe 8 years since I was pregnant with myoldest son. She's even done casting of my kids footprints. I just love her.

I've been thinking about seeing the local councelor but I don't know if I really have any issues anymore or how to describe it, just blocking myself from the planning and taking control.

Gretchy - yes I know, I'm trying to be very realistic with my goals and not beat myself up but just to move forward at a pace I can live with. It's been many years of soul searching, researching and finding peace with myself as a person but still knowing I'm human and am not perfect.

Shrinking - I like the one habit at a time idea, I've done that in the past with Sparkpeople but I'm finding it harder to follow their plan this time around, I think I restarted 6 times before I moved onto something else. I still use it as a great resource though.

Thank You Tammy and Dumpling and the rest of your ladies for your support and words of encouragement. It means so much to me.

CS Who are shark people? My father problems come from him screaming at me to eat my food. I was thin and I was afraid of him. Many years later I am siting at his table with my children and strait up told him my kids do not have to finish their food that as a parent there was no way I knew how much they could eat at that meal. Believe it or not he apologized and said I was right. It was a huge moment for me.

Spark people is a weight loss website run by dieticians. It's filled with lot's of information and a plan.

Hi Donna,

I was really touched by your post. I was starved a lot as a kid, both as abuse and neglect. It is something I have to look at quite often in my quest to be a healthier me. Congratualtions in haivng the courage to move forward in a way that feels right to you. DCM