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I am feeling weary.

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Old 02-05-2009, 03:41 PM   #1
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Default I am feeling weary.

Yes, I did have a good week during the month of January...but, mostly it's crazy out of control eating. I don't know what to do or how to cope. I haven't felt this bad in a long time. I am even getting in my car during the day on the 'hunt' for the perfect food to eat. It's craziness.

I am looking at healthy eating as something I can't face because it's seems so hard. I had sanity for a long time and now it's gone. My stomach hurts from overeating - my pieces and parts (foot mostly) often hurt. I am weary.

I've gained back thirty pounds from last summer. While I haven't ever really left 3FC - I feel like I am not helping people much any more. How can I help people when I can't help myself.

I know it's a matter of doing it. I don't know how or where to begin again.

Thanks for listening.
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Old 02-05-2009, 03:45 PM   #2
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Look at your signature...

"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it"

Hang in there, if losing weight were easy everyone would do it! We all have set-backs and frustrations and times when we just don't feel like we can do it. Take one day at a time or even one decision at a time if you have to!

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Old 02-05-2009, 03:51 PM   #3
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I don't really have any advice, you did well last year, keep that in mind. You know you can do it, you have to get back to that frame of mind of wanting to do it. Good luck.
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Old 02-05-2009, 03:52 PM   #4
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You know what I noticed? When I tried to limit my calories too much, my body would rebel and I would get crazy out of control hungry and eat everything in sight.

Take baby steps. You CAN do this. You CAN get your eating under control.


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Old 02-05-2009, 03:54 PM   #5
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We all struggle, its normal but there comes a point when you have to try to figure out your issue and fix it.

This winter has been horrible for me. I think I'm back on track but its because I decided to switch things up and frankly 'just do it'.

I would say try to pinpoint your main issues and work on that. Eating too many calories? Try to just tweak it a bit. Not exercising? Try to do small amounts of exercise at least. Eating out a lot? Try cutting out some of it. Temptations at home? get rid of some of them.
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Old 02-05-2009, 03:56 PM   #6
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well...this may sound crazy...but...

sometimes you have to "pretend" that it's all good...the eating healthy, the exercising...etc.

just make a list of what you "should" be doing...what to eat each day, what exercise to do each day .....an actual list.

then don't think about it too much...don't agonise about it....just power through it!

after a while...when the results start to come in, your resolve will start to renew itself.

and don't forget how much you've accomplished so far....you CAN do it!
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Old 02-05-2009, 04:07 PM   #7
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Thanks everyone, your thoughts mean alot to me.

Thanks Nelie - for simply saying to find and face my issue:

I know what my issue is - starting next week, I will be using a wheelchair get back and forth from the car to my jobs. It has me totally freaked. I have a chronic foot problem. I don't want to stop everything in my life because I have a mobility problem. It's so humbling to ask for help now. I've spend my whole life taking care of people. Now I have to ask others for help. I am not used to it or comfortable with it. It helped to write this out.

There, I've said it.

I need to accept this as what I need to do for now.
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"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it." - Margaret Thatcher

I can't lose 100 pounds....but, just maybe I can lose five pounds twenty times.

Last edited by Beverlyjoy : 02-05-2009 at 04:11 PM.
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Old 02-05-2009, 04:09 PM   #8
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Bev! ♥

Do you still do your chair aerobics regularly? You seemed to enjoy that, maybe starting with something you enjoy will lead to better energy in other aspects (food). Exercise always puts me in the right frame of mind.

Be here, we're here, you need us and we need you. It's okay to ask for help! Love and love and love.
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Old 02-05-2009, 04:24 PM   #9
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I totally understand. I have lost more than once only to see it creep slowly back. I am on my way down again and your signature made me smile. How many times does the army take the hill only to find themselves battling for it again. I see how much weight you have lost and that alone is an inspiration. The thing that helps me sometimes is to find something new to eat. I have a nasty habit of eating the same thing over and over and then wondering why I get tired of my routine. Try something different. I also have started cooking ahead lower calorie meals that I like and freezing it for those days when I just don't feel like cooking and I think maybe just this time we should eat out (eating out always makes me gain weight). I am still slogging up the hill but at least I am climbing again instead of slidding back to my higher weight (somehow that doesn't draw a very accurate picture eh?). Anyway don't beat yourself up. You're still here and that alone is a step in the right direction.

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Old 02-05-2009, 04:39 PM   #10
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Beverly - have you ever looked at our dieting with obstacles forum?
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/dieting-obstacles-14/

Our emotions/brain/mentality can mess with us deeply. It may be that you feel you are limited and feel you cant progress with weight loss. I would say that you shouldn't accept that. If you have mobility issues, have you ever thought about water aerobics/exercise? Chair aerobics is also a good suggestion. Yes your mobility may be limited but your ability to lose weight is still there.

We are here for you too
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Old 02-05-2009, 04:42 PM   #11
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Bev, it sounds to me like you feel out of control about your body because of your foot problem and having to use the wheelchair. And oddly, I think that might translate into wanting to BE out of control with food--or rather, behaving as though you are. It's almost like, "I'll show you!!!"

You know that it's your hand that picks up the car keys and goes on that search.

You know that your voice orders the food at the drive-up. Aliens have not taken over your body.

I assume no one is holding you down and forcing food between your teeth--except you.

Every minute of the day, you have a choice about what you will do. Catch yourself before you get in the car. Make the choice not to go on that drive. I guarantee it will not help your foot get well for you to gain weight. You know this yourself, you just have to let that information get through to whoever is in charge.

Could I please speak to the adult who is supposed to be in charge? What are you thinking? Take the car keys away from that kid!

Bev, suppose a friend of yours was in your position. What would you tell her to help her? What would you do for her?

Do that for yourself!


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Old 02-05-2009, 05:19 PM   #12
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Oh Bev, I am sorry you are feeling this way. I very much understand the disappointment in regaining weight that you lost already (see ticker....). You have the added burden of the pain in your foot. I'm so sorry!

But, don't give up! You're an amazing person and you deserve to feel better and healthier! I'm pulling for you!!
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Old 02-05-2009, 05:35 PM   #13
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Beverly, I understand.

Other than a week or two every once in a while, I've been out of control for over a year now. A friend shared something with me yesterday that she read in a weight loss and maintenance book. What she shared really hit home with me. Sometimes, we just have to decide to be an adult about things. We have to ignore our childish impulses and that desire for instant gratification.

This journey is tough! But, in the end, I do think it simply comes down to a choice that each of us face on a daily basis. We have to choose the behavior and, in doing so, we choose the outcome. If we choose to allow ourselves to heed the inner child and do what feels good in the moment, we suffer the outcome of an out-of-control life.
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Old 02-05-2009, 05:42 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GirlyGirlSebas View Post
Beverly, I understand.

Other than a week or two every once in a while, I've been out of control for over a year now. A friend shared something with me yesterday that she read in a weight loss and maintenance book. What she shared really hit home with me. Sometimes, we just have to decide to be an adult about things. We have to ignore our childish impulses and that desire for instant gratification.

This journey is tough! But, in the end, I do think it simply comes down to a choice that each of us face on a daily basis. We have to choose the behavior and, in doing so, we choose the outcome. If we choose to allow ourselves to heed the inner child and do what feels good in the moment, we suffer the outcome of an out-of-control life.
I agree...sometimes we need to "parent" ourselves. a little bit of "self-tough love".

sometimes, easier said than done.
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Old 02-05-2009, 05:49 PM   #15
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Hi Bev,
I understand how you are feeling, and I sure wish there was a magic pill, not for weight loss, but for our mental problems that put us in out-of-control binge mode. For one thing, I think we give up on our food control because we feel out of control in other areas, and feeling out of control feels like weakness, like we are hopeless lost causes. Like everything is too much effort and it's just not worth fighting any more. And of course, the more hopeless and like a failure we feel, the stronger the urge to binge, because that's the only thing in life giving us a sense of pleasure any more. So, you need to find a way to not feel so hopeless, to not feel like a failure, and to find pleasure in something other than food. You need to work on that, and you may need help (counseling) at times like this when you are out of control. You may need medication for depression. I'm not advocating medicine, as I think it's usually healthier to find other ways out of depression, like exercise or other factors you can control and acheive success and a sense of well being. But something needs to shake up your mental state now or you will keep cycling down and gaining more weight...and you know you don't want to make your journey harder than it is already.

So, if you can do it, talk to a professional...your family doc first if you don't have someone else. And then try to find some small goals you can achieve, even if not food related, to feel better about yourself.

You may need more pain meds to help with your foot. I live with chronic pain and without pain meds, I wouldn't be able to manage. It's very depressing to live with chronic pain and loss of mobility. Yesterday I went grocery shopping and could barely walk, and still refused to use the little drivable cart because I was too embarrassed. I too have foot problems and a bad knee, and it's getting to a point of seriously impacting my mobility.

What is your foot problem? I could go back through all your posts, but there are too many to read through, so I'm curious...maybe there is something that can make your life easier without a wheel chair. Wheel chairs are just so darned frustrating and limiting and awkward.
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