3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > Support Groups > 100 lb. Club

Boyfriend jumped on the band wagon! Driving me CRAZY!! It's a long one..

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 01-19-2009, 04:50 PM   #1
Loser :-)
 
Michelle98272's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Seattle-ish
Posts: 707

S/C/G: 273/251/175

Height: 5ft8

Angry Boyfriend jumped on the band wagon! Driving me CRAZY!! It's a long one..

Ugh! My b/f finally decided to join me in getting healthy. We borrowed a friend's scale (ours only registers 300lbs) so he could stand one foot on one and one foot on the other to get a better idea of what he weighs. He's 395lbs and motivated to make changes to lose weight. Great I think...We can do this together, support eachother, be buddies and have a built in cheering section.

What's the problem you say??? I am doing WW, just counting points and moving into this getting healthy slowly making small changes, 1 at a time. He's joined Daily Plate and is now on a 2000 calorie a day diet, drinking a gallon of water a day, going low sodium, low cholesterol, gung-ho gonna walk 3 miles before lunch!

I planned a healthy homemade chili with extra-lean ground beef, beans, onions, tomatoes, chili seasoning served with a corn bread muffin. It's too high in sodium for him, can't have the corn bread because it puts him over 2000 calories with what he's already eaten today. The chili is in the crock pot already to go for this evening but the new dieter can't have it. He can't just have a smaller portion or skip the cornbread...he's not going to have it. When I started doing WW, I didn't ask for anything out of the ordinary...I worked my eating around his cooking. I just at less of this and more of that to stay within my points. So now he's cooking up something that I planned for another dinner this week in addition to what I'm already cooking for tonight!

This is the same guy that didn't bat an eye a month ago adding an entire stick of butter to a pan of mashed potatoes despite me asking that he leave it out. (He did it on the sly)

I'm being a pissy baby, I know. I should be happy that he's joining me, that he doesn't want to suffocate to death due to his weight related apnea but I'm not thrilled about his all or nothing attitude. This is really going to sound silly but when I went shopping for groceries for this week (can't buy more, were out of $ until payday) He didn't let me know he was planning on changing his eating habits when I stocked up on my OP foods for this week. He's ate what I planned for my lunch tomorrow and at two of my 4 bananas that I planned for 4 breakfasts this week. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

Thanks for listening. I'm gonna go smack him in the head now. (JUST KIDDING!!)
__________________


First Mini-Goal: Lose 10 lbs. Met 2/22/2010
Second Mini-Goal: 20 lbs. down Met 4/23/2010
Third Mini-Goal: Lost 10% body weight (27 lbs down) Met 9/13/2010
Fourth Mini-Goal: Lose 8 more lbs to = 40 lbs lost :
Back on track:9/5/2011 First goal: get back to 246

Last edited by Michelle98272 : 01-19-2009 at 04:51 PM.
Michelle98272 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2009, 04:55 PM   #2
Mentally ready
 
Beautiful Ace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Ottawa, Ontario
Posts: 1,273

S/C/G: 314/266/165

Height: 5'8

Default

I would have smacked him already! I'm sorry that your diets are clashing, maybe you need to sit him down and have a chat about working together!
You already knew that I'm sure, but I lack any better advice to give. lol
__________________

THE MOST FATTENING THING YOU CAN PUT IN AN APPLE PIE IS A SPOON.

Beautiful Ace is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2009, 05:04 PM   #3
Shooting for the moon
 
Thin4Good's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Hampton Roads
Posts: 662

S/C/G: 210/151/140

Height: 5' 5.5"

Default

I would be pissed too - and he would be buying me some more bananas.

This would be a lot easier for both of you if you could get on the same plan. Maybe you could both sit down and figure out how you can make your meals work for both of you.
__________________



Starting Weight 7.22.2008 = 210 1st Mini Goal Met 10.5.2008 = 185 2nd Mini Goal = 170 Met January 9, 2009 3rd Mini Goal = 155 Met March 27, 2009
Progress pics

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. -1 Corinthians 9:24


Thin4Good is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2009, 05:05 PM   #4
Senior Member
 
heather88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: TX
Posts: 342

S/C/G: 300/ticker/ONEDERLAND!

Height: 5'9

Default

I feel the same way when my bf eats my food that I've already planned for the week. Now we are broke until tomorrow and I've only been able to eat about 1200-1300 calories the past 3 days when I should be having about 1800 -_-. Needless to say its had me smoking a lot more recently.
__________________



= For every 10lbs
Currently wearing a size 16

heather88 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2009, 05:05 PM   #5
So close to onederland...
 
sprklemajik's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: TN
Posts: 800

S/C/G: 271/ticker/160

Height: 5'-8"

Default

congrats on him getting on board, but I agree with Ace, you two need to talk and somehow get on a moderate plan. I think in fairness you might have to bend towards him some as well. Don't points kind of have a calorie conversion, so like 2000 calories is = to x points. maybe he could work it that way points wise and you could agree to use less sodium etc.
__________________
*-tessa-*

sprklemajik is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2009, 05:06 PM   #6
busty nerd
 
froggie83's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 109

S/C/G: 210/206/133

Height: 5'5"

Default

that would drive me absolutely insane, i'm riled up just reading about it. i can't stand that kind of ****. i bet he wonders why you're 'making such a big deal of it' if you get annoyed, too. MEN!

(sorry 3FC men!)
__________________


froggie83 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2009, 05:14 PM   #7
Senior Member
 
wchs2007's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 203

Default

I understand ! My hubby and I started a diet the same day. Our plans are the same and it is still hard. He always shows a loss every 2 to 3 days. It takes me about 2 weeks to lose what he does in one week.
Everyone can already tell he has lost some weight. Just makes me sick!
I am happy for him but Boy does he get the big head!

I do think you need to sit him down and have a talk. It will be better if you both could come to some understanding.
wchs2007 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2009, 05:19 PM   #8
Moderating Mama
 
mandalinn82's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Woodland, CA
Posts: 11,936

S/C/G: 295/200/175

Height: 5' 8"

Default

Sounds like you just need some planning. Here is what I'd do.

Mid-week (or before the next time you go grocery shopping) say something like "I'm so glad we're both focusing on being healthy. I want to make sure everything I have planned for meals next week works for you, so let's make our meal plan now and then we can do the shopping". Figure out what he's going to eat, what you're going to make for dinner...he may not be a planner, so he might need some prompting ("So, what should we get for snacks for you" or "I'm going to have X for breakfasts...should I put enough on the list for you to have that as well?").

Then make a list that meets BOTH of your needs and you'll be good to go! I do this...well, I take over the meal planning mostly, then ask "Does that all look OK to you?" at the end. It makes things MUCH easier and you always have the groceries you need to meet BOTH of your needs.
__________________
Goal Met - 10/28/07 - My Progress Picture Collage - My Goal Story - Where Have I Been?

No matter how slow you go, you're still lapping everyone on the couch!

Maintained Oct 2007-Sept 2011, then got pregnant. Our baby boy was born in May, 2012...now to lose the baby weight!!
mandalinn82 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2009, 05:35 PM   #9
Senior Member
 
JulieJ08's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: California
Posts: 7,097

S/C/G: 197/135/?

Height: 5'7"

Default

I just have to laugh about the bananas. I think my roommates were ready to call the men in the white coats on me after I got up one morning to find my banana gone because one of their friends helped himself.
__________________
Started 4/14/08 LINK TO PROGRESS PICS 1/1/2009
"It is impossible to live pleasurably without living wisely, well, and justly, and it is impossible to live wisely, well, and justly without living pleasurably" Epicurus
JulieJ08 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2009, 05:42 PM   #10
unabashed
 
lottie63's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 2,713

S/C/G: 344/321/220

Height: 5'5

Default

Augh.

Me and my bf are both doing tdp. (he's at 1600 cals I"m at 1400 cals and we are calorie cycling every other week)

so it's pretty easy for us, and he's very considerate and doesn't eat my food but if he did, WATCH OUT! lol.

I'd definately do what mandalinn offered as advice. sounds like a good idea.

Glad to see though, that you are both on the road to good health!
__________________
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it's the courage to continue that counts." --Winston Churchill\


Check out my weight loss blog!: www.beyondwillpower.blogspot.com
lottie63 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2009, 05:47 PM   #11
Former Quitter
 
GirlyGirlSebas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 5,500

S/C/G: 310/310/180

Height: 5'7

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle98272 View Post
What's the problem you say??? I am doing WW, just counting points and moving into this getting healthy slowly making small changes, 1 at a time. He's joined Daily Plate and is now on a 2000 calorie a day diet, drinking a gallon of water a day, going low sodium, low cholesterol, gung-ho gonna walk 3 miles before lunch!
Just like in other areas of life, men approach weight-loss differently. Men do tend to be more aggressive and gung-ho and approach this as yet another problem that must be fixed....now! My husband and I are both doing this together, so I understand how difficult it can be when you have different approaches. But, just like in the other areas of life, you can compromise with each other in this, too. I recommend that the two of you sit down and have a chat....about menu planning, groceries, budget, being considerate of each other and not eating all of the bananas! Then, support him 100% and enjoy the new man who emerges.
__________________
- Rhonda

"Live the life you've always imagined." Henry David Thoreau



Last edited by GirlyGirlSebas : 01-19-2009 at 05:48 PM.
GirlyGirlSebas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2009, 05:47 PM   #12
Hooping my Life Away
 
Daimere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 2,050

S/C/G: 298/218.1/170

Height: 5'8"

Default

I know how you feel. I had portioned out my dinners for the week that I precooked that weekend. I found out he ate at least two of those for lunch. I know he used to eat my meat that I used for lunch for breakfasts and what not. It is so annoying. Luckily, I've started to make the base meals so big, that if he takes a few, it will be okay. I know I still need to explain WW to him because he keeps making snotty remarks like, "You don't need seconds." Excuse me, if I have the points and the guidelines set, I'm going to have seconds if I want it.
__________________
Still trying again. Never completely quiting this journey.
Pounds to lose till lowest weight:


Obsessed with the spin of sparkly hoops
My personal hooping blog
Hit my highest weight again due to pregnancy. Nursing on WW.
Daimere is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2009, 05:52 PM   #13
FB
01.01.08
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,516

Default

I'm happy any time my husband wants to hop on the bandwagon but I draw the line when he's scarfing down my $40.00 protein shakes like they're dessert!

It's a new aspect of your relationship - with any successful relationship boundaries and limits need to be determined.

He's excited right now, that euphoria of positivity when you begin something new. We've all been there - try to encourage him while drawing whatever lines you need for yourself.
FB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2009, 06:10 PM   #14
Blue Blood
 
djay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Memphis TN
Posts: 1,056

S/C/G: 293/274/150

Height: 5'10"

Default

Sounds like you are a pretty good planner...He just caught you off guard. Hopefully when you have time to plan around both of your diets next week it will go a little smoother and you can both get healthy and Happy!

Until then...I'm with you! I would be nuts by now and so would he because I'm not going to be driven nuts without driving him nuts right back! Make the cornbread and make sure you REALLY enjoy it in front of him...for 2 nights since you are short a meal and short an eater for the chili.

Good Luck!
__________________
djay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2009, 06:14 PM   #15
Senior Member
 
xJox's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 1,416

S/C/G: 336/314/199

Height: 5'8"

Default

Dh has always been health conscious so we have never really had that issue. We figured out long ago that I eat what I want, he eats what he wants. I do cook a meal for supper, if he doesn't like what I cook, he can cook his own.
__________________
xJox
xJox is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:51 PM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2