Oh honey.
First -
on 19 pounds lost so far.
Second - patience. And then...more patience. The alternative is to what...give up? Do you really think you will be happier at a higher weight?
Don't be so hard on yourself. Just keep doing what you have been doing. You may never be entirely happy with your body - but you will be amazed at what it can do if you keep up the eating right and the exercise.
and 3rd?