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I HAD my AH-HA moment

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Old 08-13-2008, 09:56 PM   #1
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Angry I HAD my AH-HA moment

I had been doing really well for a year..had lost nearly 50 of my 100 pounds..then I let myself get off track...and was gaining again. I didn't realize how much it was bothering me until:

My boyfriend and I were at an antique sale a few weeks and I was introduced to a woman he knows. She was maybe a size 6/8 and about 5.10. Anyhow we were talking about my friend's daughter's wedding and we were talking about her dress. I said, well it will look lovely on her..she is very tall and slim..like you. Well this woman, starts smacking her CONCAVE stomach and saying: Slim oh god no I am a cow..loook at this gut and went on and on about this.

I am 5'9 and an 18/20 I WAS FURIOUS! Driving home, I was pretty quiet and my friend asked me what was wrong and I just burst into tears. It all came out..how pissed off I am at women who are *****ing because they have gained three pounds and now they can't fit into their "skinny" jeans, how movies always make the "funny person" fat, how mad I was at myself for letting myself get off track..it all just came out...and I realized how much of an emotional toll being fat is taking on me.

I am about to turn fifty, and I am GOING to lose that extra 15 pounds and reach my halfway goal of losing 50 pounds by my birthday in november. I am angry at myself for letting myself get fat in the first place and then living as a fat person for twenty years. I am determined that my days of living as a fat, sad, depressed self-loathing person are going to come to an end. I don't want to worry if I will fit in the plane seat, to be limited to shopping in FAT LADY STORES WITH UGLY CLOTHES, of seeing myself reflected in a window and being shocked at how I look.

I have a lot going for me. I may not be pretty, but I don't make dogs howl. I have beautiful blue eyes good skin and don't look fifty or feel fifty at all.I am tall, and I have long arms and legs. I have always carried myself well and I am pretty graceful. I remember being what looked like slim...but I was a size 14/16..that is just my build. I find it ironic that my goal weight and size are what some women just wail about..but they are shorter than I am and dont' have my build. I pull out a 14.16 from a rack and it looks TINY to me.

And when I get there, I am going to post my picture..in my dream outfit..a slim black skirt, a gray cashmere turtleneck, my favourite silver jewellery and my killer high heels..which I will take off immediately after that picture is taken (the heels, not the whole outfit,a dn then I will put on my pretty patent flats lol)

So ladies and gents..be prepared cause this woman is going to be posting losses and workouts and every little success she has,,,cause I have spent years hiding and hating myself..and now I am going to pat myself on the back every moment I can. SO THERE~!

Last edited by mollymom : 08-13-2008 at 10:07 PM.
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Old 08-13-2008, 10:32 PM   #2
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You go girl!!

Your determination will get you to goal -- you wait and see.

I'm an inch taller than you and 10 pounds heavier -- but I bet in no time we can be 1/2 way to our goal -- a great accomplishment!!

Good luck "seeing the light". To me it's not one particular thing, it's the whole collection that just put me over the edge.

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Old 08-13-2008, 10:43 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mollymom View Post
I may not be pretty, but I don't make dogs howl.
That's hilarious.

Thanks so much for the inspirational quote...I've been sliding a bit myself lately.

Looking forward to your goal post!
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Old 08-13-2008, 11:15 PM   #4
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Thanks for posting and allowing us to read this. Its so good to know that there are people like me out there.
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Old 08-13-2008, 11:25 PM   #5
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you can do this!
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Old 08-14-2008, 12:28 AM   #6
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Go for it!!

I, too, was 49 when I started my 100 lb. weight loss journey. Don't let anyone ever tell you that you can't lose weight when you're over 50. I'm here to tell you that you can, and, more importantly, you can maintain that weight loss, too.
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Old 08-14-2008, 12:40 AM   #7
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Thanks for sharing your story with us. I feel that many women do not understand unless they have been overweight themselves. You can do this! Keep up the good work you are half way there!
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Old 08-14-2008, 06:08 AM   #8
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Thanks so much for the kind words...I have realized that I have had a lot of negative people in my life so I can use all the cheerleaders I can get!

Last week I also lost a very fast 200 pounds..I asked my boyfriend to move out. We were getting along great but it had obviously become a friendship not a romance. That was taking an emotional toll on me, and we all know that getting emotional control is part of the successfull weight loss/control triangle. We are honestly and truly still very good friends. I think he was relieved that I was the one to bring it up. It feels good to be on my own again. I don't think I could ever live with someone happily...I have always said I would love to get married, but could he live across the street? Anyhow he is a huge help to me with my house, and still comes over and works on the projects he had started. I am very lucky. He had never been negative about my weight loss progress/problems, he just didn't understand. He had never had a weight problem, saying "oh I can't have that...too many calories/fat" was an unknown experience to him.

The upside of this is that I am now able to live my life the way I know I have to to be successful and happy. He was a meat/potatoes and ice cream man, and he wouldn't have wanted to eat the kind of food I actually love an enjoy..i.e vegetable lentil soup, quinoa and tomato/black bean salad with lime dressing etc...and he was complaining about the amount of turkey and fish..well tough. I honestly don't know how women who have to feed husbands or families do it! Kudos to you!

My fridge is now back to being stocked the way I like it. I sent along all the spareribs, ice cream, cookies, crackers, peanuts, high calorie low fiber cereal etc. to his place. I am up at this hour, without having to tip toe around so as not to wake anyone. I am off to walk the dog along our beautiful river, and then to the gym. Oh BTW I am a teacher...back to work after 2.5 years on disability...let's just say six surgeries in five years, arthritis, and fibro and the resulting depression and anxiety disorders..but I am not going to be whining about that. It hurts, I take meds, I get on with it..I rest when I need to (or soon that will be changing to rest when I can)..that is reality. It could be worse! Much worse!

Last edited by mollymom : 08-14-2008 at 06:10 AM. Reason: spelling
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Old 08-14-2008, 08:17 AM   #9
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Inspiration post, thankyou!

I could have written it (the first one) about me - except I'm 6" shorter! - but great eyes, astounding skin for 53. I have sworn to be on the high side of 'normal' by the time I'm 54 in April 2009.

And I could stab those slender people who have not the sensitivity Not to bang on about their weight to someone much heavier, it is So Rude! They're allowed to want to lose more weight but a little tact, please!
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Old 08-14-2008, 11:28 AM   #10
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off topic i know but yer a bit mental for not thinking you're pretty!

you're VERY pretty!

and you look nowhere near fifty so yah i kind of hate you
SO THERE!
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Old 08-14-2008, 11:34 AM   #11
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You'll get there! You have a great attitude!

And oh my, I LOVED your description of the woman that was speaking with you and insisted she was a 'cow'-- ugh. Hilarious. That is so insensitive and ridiculous of her. Sometimes I wonder if people do that because they are so horribly insecure or something.
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Old 08-14-2008, 11:36 AM   #12
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You are a better and more gracious person than I. I would have told her that she looked a wreck and should run home immediately and hide in her closet until she gets rid of that hideous gut of hers.

You go girl. From your picture you are totally hot!!!!
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Old 08-14-2008, 11:51 AM   #13
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Default I lost 50 pounds, too!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by mollymom View Post
I had been doing really well for a year..had lost nearly 50 of my 100 pounds..then I let myself get off track...and was gaining again. I didn't realize how much it was bothering me until:
Mollymom, I can so identify! I lost 50 pounds (of 150 to lose) then got off track and put back 35! I wish I had turned around after onl 15.

And, I'm 5'8" and carry weight so well I can always win a prize from the "weight guesser" at the carnival. LOL

I'm not a special beauty bu nice enough when not bloated, and also have nice some nice features; eyes, long limbs, great skin and people under-guess my 58 years all the time. Size 14-16 looks GREAT on me, and a 12 is THIN! Less would be anorexic looking. Not just my thoughts, some people worry about me at a low size 12.

Hurray for you and thanks for the inspiration! I especially like the fact that you can see your good points and don' feel the need to be size 4-6!
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Old 08-14-2008, 01:01 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheila53 View Post
Don't let anyone ever tell you that you can't lose weight when you're over 50. I'm here to tell you that you can, and, more importantly, you can maintain that weight loss, too.
Meee tooo! In fact, we have a whole group of 50+ folks gettin' fit a fantastic so you are so not alone in this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by clibrarian View Post
You'll get there! You have a great attitude!

And oh my, I LOVED your description of the woman that was speaking with you and insisted she was a 'cow'-- ugh. Hilarious. That is so insensitive and ridiculous of her. Sometimes I wonder if people do that because they are so horribly insecure or something.
Sometimes it's insecurity and sometimes it's a body image issue - At one point (loooooong ago and far away) I was all the way down to 115 lbs. At my height and with my build that was really unhealthy and pretty scary skinny but, when I looked in the mirror, what I saw were enormous thighs and a huge, flabby butt - and I used to complain that I was a "cow". One time a lady called me a "skinny minnie" and I nearly went home in tears because I thought she was making fun of me. So, even though her behavior seemed hurtful and insensitive to you, at least you were able to turn it into a positive - meaning the motivation you needed to take control - She may actually be hurting as much as you are. Think of how sad it would be to have that little body and not be able to enjoy it....
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Old 08-14-2008, 04:03 PM   #15
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Great attitude! I am so glad that you are making these positive changes in your life!!! Good for you!
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