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Mean Streak:(

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Old 06-27-2008, 02:03 PM   #1
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Default Mean Streak:(

This is mainly a vent...
have you ever known a person like this?? you say you have a headache, and they do as well, but much worse? you have a cold, they have a worse one? and so on and so forth? my sister is that way and for the most part it doesnt bother me too much as i live in the UK and she lives in Oregon lol... but this week she is on my last nerve... i ( like an idiot) told her the beginning of last week that im working on losing weight.. she laughed and said 'yeah right'... ( she weighs about 200lbs vs my 298)... anyhow, it hurt my feelings, but i let it go.. then she calls me yesterday to let me know she has lost 8 lbs this week and wants to know how much i lost... i told her i would tell her when i have lost all that i want and not say anything till then... now she is trying to get me to put pics up on myspace of my 'progress' ... why did this turn into a contest? why couldnt she just be happy for me that im trying to do something about my weight? why does it have to be About her? now i have these mean thoughts creeping in and i dont like it... even tho i want to lose weight for my health first, and my vanity, my husband etc... i have this niggling part creeping in that i want to get smaller than her just to say 'HA'...and that is NOT like me at all.. i know i will get over this feeling in a day or so, but i hate the fact that i even feel that way at all... this weight loss journey is supposed to be uplifting, lifechanging, postive, empowering.. not vengeful and spiteful.. oh well, thanks for letting me vent..
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Old 06-27-2008, 02:09 PM   #2
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You know what it sounds to me like your sister is never happy unless she is tryin to outdo other people. But losing this weight WILL make you happy and she cannot beat you that. So dont worry about her...when you're a hundred down and maybe more because you wanted to lose it for the right reasons, she probably will have given up.

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Old 06-27-2008, 02:10 PM   #3
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Oh yes, I understand that type of person. Then you just regret having said anything at all! I would try to ignore it for now and then if she keeps up, just tell her it is a personal journey and you don't want to discuss it any more.

Hang in there!

This time, I'm going to be stronger, I'm not giving in. - Rudimental
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Old 06-27-2008, 02:11 PM   #4
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Is your sister older or younger? It doesn't sound like a mean streak so much as a need to be competitive with you. My BIL is like that with everyone - he's a classic Type-A personality as well as just being one of those borderline obsessive people. Anything he does, he has to do to excess and he has to be THE BEST at it.

It's very frustrating and I used to engage and get sucked into it. Now I just smile a lot and say "oh that's nice" and let it go. Doesn't mean it doesn't still get to me sometimes and I do vent about it once in a while (I totally understand your feelings).

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Old 06-27-2008, 02:15 PM   #5
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I agree. If you don't care and don't play her foolish game then she'll let go.

Sister's are natural rivals right? Let her do her own thing and you worry about what you need to do. Don't make it a contest.
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Old 06-27-2008, 02:33 PM   #6
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Yeah, I agree, she's quite competitive. Maybe, if she keeps doing and saying these things that are frustrating you, you should talk to her about it. Make sure that she understands that losing weight is for you, and it has nothing to do with her, (in a nice way, of course!) and so you appreciate her support, but feel that her competitivness is not helping you in your attempt to better yourself. Hopefully, she'll understand and back off. In the end, she likely wants what's best for you.
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Old 06-27-2008, 02:33 PM   #7
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She's in OR and can't see you, right? Tell her you lost 10 LOL!!
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Old 06-27-2008, 02:36 PM   #8
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I call those people " 'yah, but' people", and I am constantly falling for their traps. It's insecurity, they just feel they need to be better than everyone in order to feel good about themselves. I think the first step is realizing that its happening, and it'll take time for you to be able to react in the way you want. I try and remain silent and let them have their say, they may work for you. With your sister its a little harder, you can shut out friends, but not family! Good luck, and keep up the good work!


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Old 06-27-2008, 02:37 PM   #9
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thank you all for the kind responses... im already getting over the irritation, and just feel so bad for her... she is my younger sister by 4 years and i guess for some reason she has always felt competative with me... im just gonna hope she does lose some weight ( she has loads of health issues) and try to be encouraging to her and not let the 'meanies' creep in.. and ill just downplay my weight loss when asked (cept to my hubby.. will shout from the rooftops around him lol)...
you guys are sooo great.. thanks again for the responses.. its great to have a place to vent even when you paint yourself in an ugly light.. and still have support...
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Old 06-27-2008, 02:41 PM   #10
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Kill her competitiveness with kindness! Smile really big and say how HAPPY you are for her weight loss! And then let it go. Refuse to answer when she asks. It will drive her crazy.

Seriously though, there are people like that, who measure their own self-worth by comparing themselves to others. It's aggravating, but you aren't going to change them. Focus on your own journey, and remember that you are on the path of weight-loss because of your health. She's there due to competition. In the long run, you'll be the winner.

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Old 06-27-2008, 02:52 PM   #11
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Your sister sounds pretty unhappy. That's unfortunate, but it's not your problem. Of course it's hard to ignore that kind of behavior, especially from family, but try not to let her draw you into a competition. You're doing this for *you*, and she just doesn't get that. (Which is why you'll keep your weight off and she won't, sadly.)
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Old 06-27-2008, 02:52 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by fiberlover View Post
She's in OR and can't see you, right? Tell her you lost 10 LOL!!
Yes! Tell her whatever you'd like...then, keep doing your thing and prove something to her and to yourself.
- Rhonda

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Old 06-27-2008, 03:07 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by GirlyGirlSebas View Post
Yes! Tell her whatever you'd like...then, keep doing your thing and prove something to her and to yourself.
Tell her that since losing that "*" pounds, you've become a multiply orgasmic woman and life is better than ever!

You've already been given great advice. It's obviously out of insecurity that she has to "one up" you. It's sad, really. Have compassion for her and just know that you can't count on her to be a support for you and that you can't celebrate little or big victories with her, as she (however wrong it is) feels like that makes HER light shine a little less brightly.

Just find other people to be your cheerleaders and remain motivated from within. Come here, because WE know what it's like and support you 100%!

"I do feel that spiritual progress does demand at some stage that we should cease to kill our fellow creatures for the satisfaction of our bodily wants." -Gandhi
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Old 06-27-2008, 03:26 PM   #14
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I'm glad your feeling better about it. It's hard when all you wanted was some support, not a competition!

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Old 06-27-2008, 03:51 PM   #15
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OMG I LOVE people like that hahahahah I have one friend who does it all the time (wait...is MY saying I have a friend who does it make ME the same? ack!?!), usually about headaches - ie., if i have a headache, SHE has a migraine, etc. One time i said to her, you know, if you WERE SHOT IN THE FACE IT STILL WOULDN'T MAKE MY HEADACHE BETTER omg hahahah hilarious and she hasn't done it since LOL

As for the "contest" don't buy into it, it can only cause problems and maybe make you want to give up - i say just plug away at your own pace, if she loses faster so what? she might GAIN it all back faster too

Just groove to your OWN tune baby!!!

Started: 323
Now: 171 - nope, 165 now!
NOPE -- 162 now! Holy crap i've lost a PERSON!
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"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily." - Zig Ziglar
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