first off thank you so much evreyone here is so supportive no joke , the inspiration here is what keeps me going and trying to push foward otherwise i would have gave up already , its not easy for me to feel the way i do and still try to loose weight i usually turn to an oversized bag of doritos for support ... which in turn makes me gain more weight and making me sadder than before .... you guys are wonderful :hugs:
I havent been on for a day or so because i was staying at my sisters house and she dosent have net acess .....
winning the war , i think your advice is good , ive put off getting cousnseling for fear that my family would think i was a nut job , but i dont care what they think anymore anyhow , im going to look into some counceling for myself this week ,
Starrynight you probably more than anyone know ecatcly how hard it is for me ( and yes im desi too
) because of our culture and how the men expect the world of us .... they want us to be fair and to be slim ( they even expect you to be slim after you have the baby ! ) they want you to cook , clean , do the laundry , run the errands , do the grocery shopping , do the ironing , and all the other little things in between its almost as if they want a better looking version of there mother ! its soo fustrating and then when you dont adhere to that the first thing is evreyone looks down on the girl , it always boils down to looks with us ......
Here We Go Again .... thank you , its so rarely that anyone pays me a compliment without adding an insult to the end of it ( i.e people like my mother who say things like " if you could loose some weight you could look beautiful " , thats always nice ) in any case it actually made me want to go and put on my makeup and do my hair today , something ive actually lost intrest in for a while ..... i honestly have tried talking to him he always turns it around somehow to make it seem like im in the wrong he has an innocent persona about him when anyone is around therefore making me look like the shrew so even when i try talking to people to see if they can help me the first thing they say is .... "he seems so easy going"
what do these people think ? if he wasent the jerk that i tell them he is , that means i complain about him for fun ? what kind of sicko do they take me for? ive talked to him till im blue in the face , of recently ive been on this weight loss journey and he's going out of his way to sabatoge it , its not like hes not slim , he is slim i dont see whats there to be upset about if i want to loose a few pounds ....
Ailey60 , i know , the amount of wisdom and support you get here is tremendous i dont know anyone on here personally but i feel like theyre all my best friends , no one here is fake ... you can feel it i appreciate your support and just the bare fact that you understand where im coming from and i hope your right about his comments and actions being about his problems and not mine, id like to think that the problem isnt always me .
Heather Angel , i guess some guys just cant deal with it , but that leaves me wondering would it have been more acceptable to the mass population if iwas slim and beautiful as well as uneducated , ill mannard , outright obnoxious, and a poor wife or is it better off that i be overweight, and average looking somewhat educated , an overall nice person , considerate , and goal oriented it seems like the world prefers the first one but i would choose the second in a husband or even a friend , it takes a good heart to be the second person the first person only cares about themselves , now dont get me wrong im not saying all slim people are like that im just saying if you had to choose between the two it looks like most men would take the first only because it seems like the personality of a chunky chick dosent matter but what matters is her size i guess the world is unfair and theres nothing anyone can do about it , what happned with your husband/boyfriend ? are you guys still together ? did he help you and encourage you to loose weight ? are you happy together?
and yes thats me , thanks :hugs: you made my day lolz
KLK , well ive been working on ignoring him , i guess that works the best because talking to him even calling his behavior out is like talking to a blank wall ive called him on it several times and all he can do is put on his best innocent face and say it was an accident i cant belive you would think that im trying to pull you off course .... ( 5 minutes later he wants to know if i want icescream from cold stone [my favorite ice cream place !!] ) he does it intentionaly and i know that , but what i dont understand is he's the one who makes nasty comments about my weight and tells me i need to loose weight evrey minute of evrey day , so why is he also trying to derail me ?
bunnababy i thought so too , i thought that the people near and dear to you are supposed to love you no matter what , i would love him no matter what , but i guess it dosent always work both ways ....
well thank you so much evreyone for the advice and the support i cant tell you how much it helps to have people who understand you and can really sympathize with you :hugs: