I am so sorry that you lost a child. I know that no words can make you feel better. But think about what your child would want. He/or she would want you to go on and not mourn their loss but celebrate their life. I can understand how hard it would be. If I lost one of my children my world would be over. But you have to take care of yourself for your child you lost, your other children, your family, and your husband. This is something that you may not be able to deal with by yourself. maybe think about talking to a paster/preist in your church (if you attend church) or talk to a therapist. You are in my prayers. I pray that you get through this. I am truley sorry for you greif and your loss... u can PM me any time you wanna talk
Penney,
I'm very, very sorry for your loss. I don't know how you feel, but I'm deeply touched and I admire your strength and your determination to do the things you mentioned above - to begin to rise up out of your deep sorrow. I know everyone copes in their own way and I wish you happy, joyful days to come.
-Nori
I am going to make a commitment now that starting next Tuesday, I am going to go back to the gym - for at least 30 minutes - I don't care if I just sit there and stare at the equipment - I am at least going to go.
My goodness, your strength and determination are amazing... I'm sure you will get to the gym... and something tells me you won't just stare at the equipment.
Well - I don't know that going to the gym is about strength and determination so much as it is way to try and make myself sleep. I am afraid of taking pills - I don't want to be dependent on them and to be honest - I have not really slept well since it happened.
I am going to be speaking to a priest on Friday - I don't know how much that is going to help because a portion of me is still absolutely furious with a certain someone and I would like to give him/her a good piece of my mind - but I guess that is going to have to wait a while longer - but I am going to keep the appointment on Friday anyway.
I don't know how stupid this sounds - I know in my heart that my child is in good hands now - but I still worry as to whether or not my chick is okay.
What you are saying is not stupid. You have a lot of thoughts racing through your mind, and that's what we're here for--support! You are not babbling, or rambling. You are venting, and that is something you need to do right now. I don't have kids yet, I'm only a teacher. I know I'd be devastated if something happened to one of them. That feeling must be so much worse for you. I'm amazed at how strong you are, and it is obvious what a strong mother/wife you are. My thoughts are with you!
Penney, My thoughts and prayers are with you. Also, I would like to echo the earlier posts encouraging you to seek grief counseling. It has been said over and over again that there is no greater pain than losing a child - and this apparently just happened so first of all, give yourself some time. Also, know that your spouse/kids are really hurting, too...cry with them, laugh with them, cry with them some more.
As for you going back to work ... I know you don't want to, but sometimes getting back into the swing of life helps. It sounds like this just happened and I am sure that the people you work with would understand if you had to just walk away, or if you broke out in tears, or whatever.
Best of luck to you and your family, Penney...and know that our prayers are with you!
Oh my goodness. I am so very, very sorry. I admire your fortitude but remember there is no shame in sitting in your grief for a while.... just remember to check your blood sugar. That is a loss no mommy (or daddy) should have to go through and, as others have stated, you will do it your own way. You, Penney, will in my prayers tonight.
I don't know the words to say to such a loss. I am so saddened to think of what you and your family are going through. You are having to deal with something beyond what most of us have ever imagined. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
You've really experienced something that no one should EVER have to go through. I am so sorry for your loss.
It sounds like you have been seeking out support from people who have gone through similar things- and if not, I think it would be great for you. As for the exercise, yes, do what you can; it should help you sleep. You could also try Melatonin, which you can get at GNC, it has helped my sleeping problems in the past and is not a "sleeping pill"- i think it's good you don't want to go that route.
Please take care of yourself- your family is so important right now, and grieving together is important as well- but they understand you're not in any shape to go back to "normal" yet. Don't worry abotu that or feel guilty at all. It takes time, and they know that.
You are in my prayers. I firmly believe one day you will be together again with your child; until that time comes I know it will be so hard. You know you can talk about it anytime to us in here, we are always here to listen.
I faded out for a while - went and spent some time with some family members (took my whole crew with me) - there were some tears, a lot of hugs, some more tears and eventually even a bit of laughter. It was good for all of us.
I finally slept - strangely enough felt a little guilty about the fact that it was the first morning I did not wake up crying. Then I finally accepted the fact that I was actually letting myself start the healing process and it was actually a good thing.
I talked with the priest, started reading a book, and the day before I was supposed to go to the gym came down with food poisoning. I have not exercised - but I have lost weight. So - this weekend - I am going to work out at home and then Monday - back to the gym.
You have no idea how much you all have helped me - I have come on here and read and re-read your posts so many times and I can honestly say that I feel the heart in your posts.
I still want to scream, cry and roar about just how bleeding wrong this is - but - I have also accepted that I cannot change reality. I guess that is another step in the process.
I just want to say thank you to everyone - you all have no idea how much you have helped me.
Thank you for updating us - I often check to see if you have!
I am glad to hear you are starting to heal - you are a very strong woman! Keep up the good work and know that we are still praying for you and your family!
My thoughts are with you and your family
