I've lost a good amount of weight and gone down from a 28 to 24, and I'm thrilled with the changes I've made to get there. But, man, lately I've been looking in the mirror and wanting to cry because I'm thinking, "Holy cow, I've lost almost 60 pounds since January and I'm still freakin' ENORMOUS."
I usually am fine and able to think of everything in relative terms -- like, my body is smaller now than it was four months ago. My body is fitter now than it was four months ago. My body is wayyyyyyyy healthier than it was four months ago. But it just seems like the progress is only putting more emphasis on how fat I still am. Does that make sense?
I look in the mirror and actually see what's left, and it gets me so down and disgusted to think that I've lost 60 pounds since Jan but it's not that noticeable because I'm still obese. The idea of progressing just seems so ... futile. And daunting. And depressing. I think it bugs me because I really want to start jogging, but I'm floppy and self conscious. And instead of motoring on to get to that goal where I feel comfortable jogging, I'm just like bleh and unmotivated.
Does anyone understand this? I have no idea what I'm going through. Granted I'm a bit hormonal this week and have a sense of impending doom because I'm visiting my skinny family next week and prepping myself for the crushing ego blow to come. I've tried to talk to DH about it, but he gets angry because he thinks I'm intent on punishing myself. But he can't possibly understand what it's like to lose a bunch of weight and still be fat.