[Lyn2007]

I am really annoyed with having to lose and re-lose the same 3 pounds over and over. Notice, I am annoyed... but not frustrated. The difference being I totally understand why this is happening and what I need to do to change it, and there is no chance, NONE, that I am going to give up and regain. But still...

I was noticing that the last time I lost ten pounds, it took me 18 days. Only one day was off-plan (over calories). All the other days I ate under 1500 and stuck to my exercise.

Since then, I have lost 4 pounds... in 39 days. The difference is that 11 of those days were off plan. UGH. 11/39 = 28% of the time being off plan. Even with nearly doubling my aerobic exercise (biking) and adding strength training, I cannot effectively lose weight if I am off plan 28% of the time! Wake up, Lyn...

I need to get back to something more like 1/18 (5%). I am recommitting myself to work harder and stick with it mroe diligently.

I have been facing some major stresses...
1. bad areas on my mammogram that are worrisome and they are doing a closer look tomorrow
2. pap came back bad, moderate dysplasia, precancerous cells which they are going to do a culposcopy and biopsy and maybe more procedures... but I couldnt get in for 2 more weeks
3. son broke his finger and missed half of baseball season but just got cleared from the dr to play, and on the same day he got suspended from the team because his GPA got too low... UGH!!!
4. DH coming home this week... along with all his chips, cookies, candy, offers to eat out, and his "I am not attracted to skinny women" comments
5. taxes!!
6. son's birthday party this week AND he is starting to drive!! (this is not the one with the bad grades, BTW)

Anyway I need to catch a breather. I have been riding my bike extra to deal with the stress, and not binging.

I guess I just needed to vent. I always get such great encouragement and insights from you folks. Thank for being here.

[Lovely]

That's a lot of stress to be dealing with.

[midwife]

Oh Lyn! It is so hard to juggle everything!! I am glad you are riding your bike. That will help with the stress. Good for you for plugging along in the face of these issues. Let us know how your testing goes for your health concerns.

[shelby897]

So my cute little 4 and 8 year old are going to cause me even more stress when they get older!!!

My husband sounds like yours -- I've started either blocking him out or reminding him I am making so many great changes and when I get to my goal weight, maybe I won't like bald men!!!

Hugs to you -- wish I cold unload some of the stress for you -- I have noticed that even with stress, when I eat well and exercise it helps me feel better.

Good luck!!!

[findingfawn]

Sending lots of strength and your way!!!!

You have a lot on your plate right now, you are doing a great job esp. with all the stressors in your life right now.

ETA: My hubby tells me all the time he doesn't like skinny girls, I think that is part of how I ended up this way! My hubby is my total world, but he can go to h*ll if he thinks I'm gonna stay this fat forever! On the same note, he is getting ready to join a gym, he wants to be all cut and muscles from head to toe.. I hate big bulky muscles, they are a total turn off for me... but if he can handle me losing this weight and becoming a skinny girl then I guess I will learn to love muscles.. or as much as I let him build up

[barbygirl43]

You can do it!!!! You are noticing that something needs to change and working toward that before you get derailed. I love how you put the xxxs in your siggy to show when you are on plan.

[Tai]

Vent away Lyn! That's what we're here for; to listen and support each other. Go green X's!

[Lyn2007]

Thanks guys! I haven't made the very best food choices the last 2 days but I kept it under 1500 and it wasn't junk food, just... cheese. lol.

I am riding my bike 6 days a week now and it helps.

But last night my oven broke... it doesn't work at all (just the burners work but not the oven) and tomorrow being my son's birthday I was going to bake his apple pies today!! Argh. Can't bake! He had also requested some homemade fudge which I was debating on, but I can make that on the stovetop and make it in a cake pan and put candles in it instead of a cake or pie, until we get a new stove. Then I'll have to make his pies late. If it ain't one thing....

[PhotoChick]

and his "I am not attracted to skinny women" comments

Heh. My guy says this too - he likes his women with some curves on them. But you know ... I will never be *skinny*. I may be fit and slender and in shape - but I'm just built with curves and will always have hips and boobs. So he's got nuthin' to worry about there.

And I suspect he'll be just as happy with my less wobbly curves (and more energy - *wicked grin*).

.