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I'm no longer on a diet ...

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Old 04-01-2008, 10:48 AM   #1
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Default I'm no longer on a diet ...

The more I read and the more I think about it, the more I realise that food is controlling my life.... and that being on a 'diet' is not helping me.

I'm bulimic. I've been so on and off for all of my life. I go for loooooong periods of time when I don't.... but when I'm actively trying to lose weight, the guilt when I fail drives me back to the toilet. UGH. I'm making myself ill.

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The importance of deciding not to diet

Treatment for bulimia is much more likely to succeed when people stop dieting. When bulimics stop trying to restrict calories and follow strict dietary rules, they are no longer overwhelmed with cravings and thoughts of foods. By eating normally, they can break the binge-and-purge cycle and still reach a healthy, attractive weight.
I bought Paul McKenna's "I can make you thin"... and it's going to be really, really hard for me to do, but I honestly think that if I can break this obsession I have with thinking about food 24 hours a day 7 days a week I have more of a chance of beating ... both my bulimia and my weight issues.
I think I'm going to get rid of the scale too.

Dayum, this is scary...... but... I've been on a diet for the past 10 years it seems and I'm at the same weight now as I was when I started.....

*shudder*

Any thoughts???
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Old 04-01-2008, 11:08 AM   #2
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Have you checked out the Chicks in Control forum? http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/chicks-control-64/
This would probably be a great support for you.
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Old 04-01-2008, 11:25 AM   #3
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I dont have alot of advise or input, wanted to offer you ! Opening up about all of this is a big step in the right direction. I really think that Paul's system would be a good thing for you to try, since his focus is not on dieting at all.. it's not even on what you eat or when you eat it... it's how you eat it.
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Old 04-01-2008, 11:27 AM   #4
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That makes a lot of sense to me. Any time you have binge/purge/restricting cycles you have increased obsession with food. If you can do what Paul McKenna teaches, it would be a great tool in breaking that cycle. Good luck to you
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Old 04-01-2008, 12:16 PM   #5
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First of all Hooray for you! for recognizing that purging is NOT a good way to control weight.

I agree with fiberlover - I think you'll find a lot of support and really see that there are others who share your challenges if you go check out the chicks in control forum. I spent quite a bit time there when I was first getting started with my plan and got a little nostalgic for that old "easy way" to lose - Many moons ago (before EDs were publicized - maybe not even recognized yet) I used to actually plan entire weekends of hiding in my apartment so I could binge and purge. I got really excited about Friday night shopping - loading up my cart with tons of cakes, cookies and general junk - I swear, I felt like I was getting ready for a hot date. Then after stuffing it in, actually checking my watch to see if "it was time yet". Kind of makes me sad (and a little scared) when I think about it now.

You are on exactly the right track with the idea you are no longer on a diet! I don't want to mislead you and say it's going to be really easy, but I betcha you'll find that it is so very much eas-ier now that you've had the flop in attitude about food and whether it controls you or you control it. I have no doubt you can do this and you are going to be soooo happy and feel soooo much better.
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Old 04-01-2008, 12:30 PM   #6
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I am 100% convinced that if I had never started dieting when I was 19 or 20 years old, I would not be the size I am now. The constant loss of 20 pounds, gain 30 back, over 20 years can really add up. I made the choice to stop dieting, and I've never been happier. Nothing is off limits, nothing is forbidden, and it's forced me to become an adult around food. No more childish demands of more more more because it's yummy. I look at something, make a decision, and live with it. More often than not it's the right decision, but hey even the wrong choices are still MY choice and I have to live with it. It's been the most free-ing experience in my 41 years, and I'm happy with the way things are progressing.

Hilarious side-note -- I went to a hairdresser friend of mine I hadn't seen in about 6months and she said "WOW you've lost a ton of weight how did you do it" and about 4 women all gathered round to hear the "secret" and I said, "well it's radical, it's hard to wrap your head around it .. but... i gave up dieting!" and the confused looks and puzzled expressions were priceless! After chatting for the hour visit tho, I think they got my meaning LOL

Good luck, and may the food sanity faery sprinkle dust on you!
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Old 04-01-2008, 12:35 PM   #7
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Default You're writing My Story!

[quote=MamaToTomAndAlex;2127480]The more I read and the more I think about it, the more I realise that food is controlling my life.... and that being on a 'diet' is not helping me.

I'm bulimic. I've been so on and off for all of my life. I go for loooooong periods of time when I don't.... but when I'm actively trying to lose weight, the guilt when I fail drives me back to the toilet. UGH. I'm making myself ill.



I bought Paul McKenna's "I can make you thin"... and it's going to be really, really hard for me to do, but I honestly think that if I can break this obsession I have with thinking about food 24 hours a day 7 days a week I have more of a chance of beating ... both my bulimia and my weight issues.
I think I'm going to get rid of the scale too.

Dayum, this is scary...... but... I've been on a diet for the past 10 years it seems and I'm at the same weight now as I was when I started.....

*shudder*

Any thoughts???

Only that you're writing my story... And, that I too JUST found Paul McKenna on TLC this weekend. I DVR'd both episodes and printed the Tap technique he outlines - it's sitting here in front of me on my desk.

Every time I get a craving or feel an emotion that makes me want to eat all the kettle chips I can find here or at home I tap, hum, count and tap some more. So far, it's working!

I've struggled with the big-B myself - Ever since high school when Sally Roberts told me I could eat all the pizza I wanted if I ____ afterwards. It had a tight grip on me until my late twenties when I decided to have my jaw wired shut. It was no picnic (more involved that I thought) but 6 weeks of that was like having my hands tied behind my back. I lost 36 pounds and didn't purge for almost 3 years. That didn't last though. I later got so good at it I didn't need my finger. I just recently (4 weeks ago) began not to feel the urge to binge every day.

I too am no longer dieting... Just taking one day (hour) at a time - Doing my best to eat consciously, as Paul says. Although my life as a whole isn't quite as desperate as it may sound to you...

Any way, I just wanted to offer you my support and tell you that the tapping technique outlined in Paul McKenna's series seems to be working for me and I hope it also works for you.

Best!
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Old 04-01-2008, 12:49 PM   #8
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There is much help now days for folks with eating disorders. Don't be afraid or ashamed to ask your doctor for help. It takes alot to say it here. I am glad you did.

Check out the link that fiberlover included in her thread.

The first step is saying you need help.
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Old 04-01-2008, 06:02 PM   #9
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Thank you soooo much for all your input.

I've been an acknowledged bulimic for most of my adult life, to be honest. I told my GP (family doctor) in the UK when I was about 22 and he was really cool about it and sent me to a psychiatrist who established that I was totally normal and had a decent family life and prescribed me with Prozac that apparently had the side effect of making me incapable of vomiting? Really? Hmm... all I know is that I took it for three days and a friend of mine who was a psychiatric nurse took me aside and said : "What the **** are you on?"... because I was out of my mind. I decided then that enough was enough and stopped taking the Prozac and stopped purging.

Over the years it has come back to haunt me, predominantly when I'm dieting. Like right now. It's not all the time and it's not at every meal.... but if my DH wants to eat junk food, I find myself incapable of resisting, so I partake... and then I feel guilty.... so I purge. Then I hate myself for purging.

Soooooo...... anyway... thank you alll for the fabulous support. You might well find me still here because I think you guys are wonderful and I don't think I want to leave... lol...

Funny thing? Today I've had four small chocolate chip & banana pancakes (two for breakfast and two for lunch) and a cup of coffee.... lol. I'm not hungry so I'm not eating. Right now I'm cooking dinner and I'll eat what I want and stop when I'm full....

Thanks again soooo much for all the support and wonderful comments. Trazey .... I loved your story!!! hahaha I hope to be repeating it here in a couple of months
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