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how do i not drown in despair?

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Old 03-26-2008, 10:21 AM   #1
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Default how do i not drown in despair?

I'm not usually so down, but it seems I have just woken up to the task at hand - losing 100 pounds. I've read your posts and am so happy to have found this site - so many of you have actually done it! It gives me faith that it can be done.

I am hormonal today (pms) so maybe that's why I'm down. And I'm going on vacation in 3 weeks and feel this pressure to lose a significant amount before my family sees me. I'm feeling totally overwhelmed with this.

How do I calm down and just do it in a reasonable, day by day manner?
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Old 03-26-2008, 10:30 AM   #2
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I actually have a goal each & every day of making sure I do healthy things. Does it always work? No. Does it work 90% of the time? Yep!

Eating well for today. Exercising for today. Drinking my water for today. Definitely helps keep me focused on the now, rather than the entire journey.

And mini-goals. Mini-goals of all kinds! I'm about 5 lbs away from my current mini weight goal at the moment!
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Old 03-26-2008, 10:31 AM   #3
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avi, I started 10 months ago with 100 lbs. to lose, so I can understand the view from where you are standing! First of all, I would encourage you to keep reading the stories on 3fc that show that it can be done. Don't focus on the 100 lbs. right now. I am just a little over halfway, but already there are so many benefits. Even at 25 or 30 lbs. lost, my health, energy, and outlook were so much better! Don't put pressure on yourself over the vacation. You are not going to lose 100 lbs. or probably even 20, in 3 weeks. But you could be down a few lbs., and you could be enthusiastic about your progress, feeling great, and well on your way to some great new healthy habits by then. I guess my point here is that it can be done, but it is a process and a journey, and you have to be willing to make a commitment for the long haul. It is SO worth it. Right now you are overwhelmed by the number, but each and every day you make progress toward your goal, your life will improve.
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Old 03-26-2008, 10:33 AM   #4
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The start of the journey can be so hard. It's easy to focus on the distance rather than the rewards along the way. So, maybe it would help to share with you some of the incredible things that I predict will happen to you in the next two or three weeks?

Your body will begin to adjust to eating lower amounts of food. As you begin to turn down food that is not on your plan, you will feel stronger, more confident in yourself. When you slip (as all of us do) and realize that the slips don't define you - the everyday success defines you - you will gain confidence and embrace that this is the new you. The new you recognizes that, as Sandi's signature says, it's about consistency rather than perfection. As you start to eat healthier foods and shun the unhealthy ones, your body will feel so much better.

As you start to exercise, you will embrace it as a way to cope with life's stressors. You will be able to do more things with your friends and family than you could before, and exercise will become a reward in itself. Your body will be stronger, and you will become much more in tune with it as you push yourself to increasing the amount and intensity of the exercise. Even if you're only starting with a 5 or 10-minute walk, you will feel accomplished as you stay on track.

Finally, you will realize that your health has as much value to you as your work and family obligations. Making yourself a priority will benefit every area of your life. There isn't an area of my life that hasn't been touched by the weight loss journey, and almost all of the impact has been positive. (I was grouchy the other day, and my husband asked me why I had stopped exercising. I hadn't, and when I asked him why he thought that I had, he said I was way too mean to still be exercising.)

You don't have to lose 100 pounds. Losing ten pounds will make your life so much better. Then, you might choose to lose another ten pounds and improve it even more after that. Then, you might choose to maintain for a while - or even to lose another ten pounds. I've been working at this for ten months, and still have not lose my 100 pounds. But I feel really great about the seven times I decided to lose 10!

You so can do this. If you haven't done so, I recommend you read the succdess stories of people who have done it. They are amazing people, but then again, so are you, right?
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Old 03-26-2008, 10:35 AM   #5
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I've been where you are and I know exactly how you are feeling.

Recently I've been inspired by a quote that Mezmerize has in her signature and I'm probably going to steal it and add it to mine! .... It says... : "I cannot lose 100lbs... but I can lose 10lbs 10 times" ....

It's so true. Break it down into little chunks. Don't overwhelm yourself with the big picture, but see it in small... manageable chunks. Don't let the size of the task stop you from taking it on in the first place.... else before you know it that 100lbs will be 110.... etc. etc.

You CAN do it. This group is phenomenally supportive. Use that support. Use the people here to help you succeed.

Together we CAN....

*hugs*
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Old 03-26-2008, 10:36 AM   #6
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Take a deep breath. Remember, it took you longer than a few weeks to gain the weight, and it's going to take you longer than a few weeks to lose it. Celebrate the small successes along the way. Make a good decision for breakfast today? Pat yourself on the back! That is one more step in the right direction. Sometimes even taking it day by day can be overwhelming. Break it down. Set even smaller goals for yourself if it helps. Sometimes getting through the day can be a huge task. Remember that each good decision you make is a step closer to your goal. You can't, in a safe way, lose a huge amount of weight in 3 weeks. Don't expect yourself to. Don't feel bad for not being able to. Set small, reasonable goals. Don't weigh yourself all the time, because the fluctuations will drive you nuts. Your family is going to be proud of you for taking control and making a healthier you. And visit often! These girls have helped me through lots of bad days, diet related and life related. This is an inspiring place to be.
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Old 03-26-2008, 10:44 AM   #7
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You can do this! Set some smaller goals for yourself and don't be too hard on yourself if you fall off the horse from time to time! Just like making a list of things you need to clean or things you need to pack, make a list of things you need to do for you today: eat a healthy breakfast, exercise for X amount of minutes, have a healthy snack, eat a healthy lunch, have a healthy snack, have a healthy dinner, endulge in a light dessert (sugar free jello and fat free cool whip anyone?), drink at least 8 glasses of water... etc. I find if I'm very specific with myself I do the best!

Good luck, and I'm sure you will look great for your family!
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Old 03-26-2008, 11:18 AM   #8
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I totally know where you're coming from....I am having trouble adjusting too, but it's getting easier every day (I've been at it for 3 weeks). When I feel like I want to skip my 2 mile run on the treadmill (the majority of the time)...I tell myself "That's not an option right now - when the 2 miles is up, you can sit down!!!". I know that if I get off now, I'll have to start over, but if I keep on running....sooner or later it will feel natural.

I just keep at it one day at a time and be sure to talk myself up when I reach even the smallest goal:
*drinking all 4 of my daily bottles of water
*eating healthy all day
*saying no to something I shouldn't have (yesterday I picked up 2 mini Reese's PB cups and walked out of the room so I wouldn't be tempted to eat more...I ate one, and actually went and put the 2nd one back....HUGE accomplishment!!!!)

Something that I've noticed is that now that I am moving myself in a healthier direction physically and emotionally, I am becoming more accepting of the skin I'm in...even now I feel more confident in my clothes just knowing that soon enough, I will look great in them!!

And lastly, I seriously get on 3FC at LEAST 3x/day....this forum has been a huge support and these ladies are wonderful!! Soooo - stick around and you might find that you are having fun sometimes. I said in another thread that calorie counting has become almost a hobby for me

If you need anything...ask. Someone will have something to say - if only to give you the encouragment you need to make it through that one day. Remember...one day at a time.....
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Old 03-26-2008, 11:23 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by avi0903 View Post
I'm not usually so down, but it seems I have just woken up to the task at hand - losing 100 pounds. I've read your posts and am so happy to have found this site - so many of you have actually done it! It gives me faith that it can be done.

I am hormonal today (pms) so maybe that's why I'm down. And I'm going on vacation in 3 weeks and feel this pressure to lose a significant amount before my family sees me. I'm feeling totally overwhelmed with this.

How do I calm down and just do it in a reasonable, day by day manner?
You have to focus on day to day and make healthy choices. Don't focus at the 100 lbs at hand, like others said, start small, with mini goals. Don't feel pressure to lose a significant amount before your vacation, that isn't a healthy way to lose weight. Slow and steady wins the race. And don't stress about your family seeing you, they love you for you, not what number shows up on the scale.
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Old 03-26-2008, 12:25 PM   #10
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and everything's relative, right? I'd be excited that you're ONLY 250!!! I didn't have my "moment of clarity" until I tipped the scales at 320!!! so be happy you're waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay under 300 ehhehe that's something to be happy about!! and pretty soon you'll be in the 240's etc. etc.

Just concentrate on 10 lbs, you can do that and then do it again... and repeat as often as necessary. I've done it 6 times myself and I have a bunch more to do yet but I won't let it get me down...so keep the faith girlie and you can do it !
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Old 03-26-2008, 12:47 PM   #11
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Hi -

You are all the most amazing people around. You make me feel that I can really do it this time, and that I can keep coming back for strength.

Since yesterday I think I have come here about 10 times already - either posting and trying to be supportive to others, and just reading your stories. Thank you!!

Your ideas and suggestions make it sound more realistic. I like the idea of just thinking about 10 pounds at a time. And then your right - I can continue, or stand still for a while, my choice. That way of thinking makes me feel less desperate, more empowered. And I love the idea of thinking my family will love me for who I am (though I think they will also look at my fat).

Thank you Faerie, Laurie, Schmoodle, Mama, Winter, Fawn, Sweettart & Born. You all, each and every one, have made my day easier. Seriously, when I got to work today I was in such a funk, such despair. I think I scared my daughter last night. We were out shopping for the trip, nothing fit, I looked in the mirror, and just freaked! And the feeling never left me. Till I came here. Thank you.
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Old 03-26-2008, 01:02 PM   #12
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Trust me, I know exactly how you feel. Starting out I had 160 lbs to lose and it just felt overwhelming. So like most have said, take it slow, set mini goals, and before you know it you'll be surprised at how much progress you have made.

When I started out, I probably spent too much time thinking about how far I had to go... I would look at my ticker and cry. Now I look at my ticker and cry because I'm so happy with how far I've come. I know it's a long journey but it's definitely a journey worth making.

I'm not sure who said this but I keep a list of quotes that motivate and inspire me and I read them often - here's one of my favorites:

"Do you believe in the worth of your own pursuits? If so, then what could possibly prevent you from following them? If you're looking for a sure thing, then here's one -- everything you achieve will come only from the things you attempt. In order to succeed, you must proceed. Today is a great day to start."
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Old 03-26-2008, 01:04 PM   #13
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What a great thread. As someone who has a lot left to go, this is good stuff.

I think the mini-goals are KEY to us that have a significant amount of weight to lose. I set tons of them and reward myself when they are reached. Take advantage of some of the challenges on the message boards, they are a fun way to stay motivated and accountable.

It took me a long time to realize that this isn’t a race to the finish. It’s what I do over the long term that matters, not what I can stick to for a few days or weeks.

I love what everyone keeps saying about looking at it at losing 10 lbs at a time. That seems SO much more doable than the big picture. Thanks for the perspective!
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Old 03-26-2008, 02:56 PM   #14
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I agree about the 10 pounds at a time. I went walking during lunch today with a friend (second time in a row! - yesterday was my first day on this website and it inspired me to walk, and I did it again today) and told her about losing 10 pounds 10 times, and she loved that perspective. I feel like I have gained some wisdom from you all already, and I am sharing it with others.

Gina, I love your quote. Very uplifting and motivating. You have come so far! Can you share your story? How did you start? What gave you the push? Do you have pictures?
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Old 03-26-2008, 03:27 PM   #15
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ha ha I came to this thread to read about how hard sticking to a healthy lifestyle is (it's what I'm feeling like today!) - but instead I got a good reminder about what it takes to succeed So much great advice! keep checking in avi - 3fc has a way of picking ya up when things are rough.
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