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Old 03-07-2008, 07:38 PM   #1
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Angry Hiding Food

So for the first time last night I found myself hiding food so my boyfriend wouldn't know I was eating something I really shouldn't have been (another slice of pizza). While I managed to stay within my calories yesterday, and finally throw away the half slice of pizza I didn't eat due to guilt, I was not so good today. The moment I was left alone, I made myself a cheese sandwich on white bread, with mayo. I then proceeded to eat it as quickly as I could to hide the evidence. What is wrong with me? I used to do this every day, but haven't in over six weeks. I know I'm not dehydrated as I have drank over 2 liters of water today. How do I get myself to knock it off and get back on track? Does anyone else have this problem? ARGH!FRUSTRATED!
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Old 03-07-2008, 07:54 PM   #2
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Yes, and frankly, I still have this problem and probably will forever. No guilt, pick yourself up, and start again the very next meal. Make a commitment to healthy eating.

Sometimes the process of losing weight is two steps forward and one step back. You'll still reach your goal, and you'll learn a lot about yourself along the way. Missteps happen--you just learn to put them aside and concentrate on doing what you know is healthy for you.

Also, I suggest telling your boyfriend what you've done so that the "secret" food won't have power of you.
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Old 03-07-2008, 08:54 PM   #3
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Sheila's right. Early on in my plan I would cheat or hide candy from my husband. One time I hid half a pizza under the vegetables!!! I never ate it. The guilt just created more anxiety for me as I do not like to hide anything. Now when I do cheat I don't hide it and it actually helps me if I talk to my husband about it. I talk then pick myself back up. No of us are perfect. It will be alright just keep making good choices.

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Old 03-07-2008, 09:24 PM   #4
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Add me to the list....I often hide my binges or bad eating. **sigh**

It's something I have always done, and though I'm getting better, it's hard to stop myself sometimes. I share your frustration.
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Old 03-07-2008, 09:31 PM   #5
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For me it's a constant struggle, and I imagine it will for a long while. I didn't develop the bad eating habits I have overnight and so I know it will take a long time to break the habit for the future (if ever).

But I do agree with Sheila, we all have lapses now and then. Don't beat yourself up over it, just pick up and continue right the next moment on plan. It only makes you feel worse and more at risk of repeating if ya beat yourself up over it.
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Old 03-08-2008, 12:16 AM   #6
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Sure, I've done it too. Sometimes I look forward to when I know my husband will be out of the house so I can sit and openly eat some garbage that I don't really need. Let's face it, it's a real addiction and one that is harder than others, being that we can't give up food cold turkey, have to eat to stay alive.
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Old 03-08-2008, 01:18 AM   #7
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Been there, done that too. Just don't beat yourself up over it and start fresh right away. We are all going to slip up, it is more important that you learn to just move on after a bad choice and start to make good choices than to let it haunt you. Letting it haunt you usually creates anxiety that makes you do it again.
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Old 03-08-2008, 10:38 AM   #8
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Kim, secret eating is a problem for many of us. If I had really only eaten what everyone else thought I had...."I don't know why you're overweight because you don't eat much at all!".....then I would never have gotten as heavy as I did. This all comes back to committment and reminding ourselves of the reason we're doing this. One of my biggest coping solutions is to not have any junkfood or my trigger foods in the house. Granted, I've been know to binge on healthy foods too, but I'm not as likely to binge if the sugar and processed foods aren't around to tempt me. I also struggle with picking up a candy bar, eating it on the drive home and hiding the "evidence" in my purse. Now, I have to talk to myself before I enter the store and go through my list of reasons to stay on-plan. No more mindless shopping for me!
Kim, you can do this. You can get control of your eating. But, you need to want this more than you want the very brief pleasure of eating off-plan.
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Old 03-08-2008, 10:56 AM   #9
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I have been a secret eater too for most of my adult life. I think it started before I even got fat. When I was in my 20's I could never sit and enjoy a piece of cake or a candy or a bowl of chips without a passel of preschoolers and toddlers clamoring all over me for bites. I hated that. I like to just enjoy my food quietly. So I started taking my food to the bedroom, the pantry or even the bathroom (ew) so I could eat it with no one seeing me.

I have pretty mujch stopped this behavior now. EVen when I eat junk I do it in plain view. But the hardest habit was the one Paula mentioned about looking forward to DH being out so I could sit and chow. My DH is gone out of town a lot so it used to be when he left, I stopped cooking meals and just bought junk, ordered in pizzas, went through drive throughs. It was weeks of Arbys, McDonald's and all kinds of horrid food I would be embarrassed to eat if he were here. I used the excuse that I had too much to do and no time to cook when he was gone. Now he is gone and I still get these thoughts like, "ooooo, we can go to the buffet tonight" or "I can just go get burgers" but I stop myself. It's hard but worth it.
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Old 03-08-2008, 12:04 PM   #10
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I totally still have this problem, too. For me, the answer is get the trigger foods out of the house (at least as many as possible).
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Old 03-08-2008, 04:36 PM   #11
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I'm right there with you also. And like others have posted, it's an addiction. And just like with any other addiction, once it's *in the light* it doesn't hold the same power over you and it's easier to tackle since it's no longer such a shameful secret.
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Originally Posted by Sheila53 View Post
Also, I suggest telling your boyfriend what you've done so that the "secret" food won't have power of you.
I have to agree with this wholeheartedly. In November I told my DH - after over 12 years together - about my binging/hiding food issues (not that he *understands* them like others here do!) and it was a HUGE step for me. I could share it with others here, but sharing it with someone IRL was so liberating. Sure I've slipped up. Just one night last week DH went and got in the shower and I RAN to the kitchen! Things didn't get too out of control, but the behavior was still there.
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Old 03-08-2008, 07:58 PM   #12
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I've also dealt with the "secret eating" thing and it's really hard, but I do agree with everyone. You need to talk about it so that it doesn't have the power to make you feel guilty and then you need to move on and get back to healthy eating. Don't let it drag you down!!
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Old 03-09-2008, 01:28 AM   #13
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I think it's a hard attitude shift to make.

I've never been a secret eater, but I have my own response to criticism. Whenever anyone commented on a poor food choice, I'd just eat twice as much to "show" that person that I could do what I pleased. Of course, that was just letting someone else's comments tear me down and change my behavior.

I have certain rules about eating food that doesn't fall into my personal parameters (which I don't think are "normal") for healthy. If there is a healthy alternative which will hit the same spot, I make that. That is to say, if I'm desperately craving chicken strips, I know that I can make my own coated in ground almonds with a light dusting of parmesan that will thrill me just as much as running to the diner for the deep-fried variety.

If there isn't a healthy alternative: First, I drink a glass of water or tea and think about why I want the item. I have pms food cravings that will lead to complete breakdowns if not satisfied. I also occasionally "crave" food just because I'm too hungry to think about cooking or my emotions are ruling my stomach. I always cave to the former, but I usually don't need the latter.

If I still want it, I go and get it. I don't try and substitute other non-related foods, because it doesn't work for me. I can eat three cucumbers, a few bags of carrots and a whole chicken while dreaming of a Wendy's cheeseburger, and in the end, I'll still drive to Wendy's.

Once I buy the item I wanted (and ONLY the item I was craving), I must drive all the way home before eating it. There will be no burger cramming while driving one handed back to my place. The item is put on a plate. It is eaten at the table as a proper meal (or snack). This is food that nourishes my body, and it should be enjoyed thoroughly.

I think this works for me because my most commonly craved foods are "healthy". So, I'm not fighting a constant need for a box of cookies or a container of french fries.

I also see this as a lifestyle change, and it needs to be sustainable. I can exercise daily. I can hit the gym running every morning, but I will never be able to see food solely as something that fuels me. Food is pleasure, food is social, food is culture . . . For me, trying to deny this is impossible.

In my long-winded way, I'm trying to say that it's hard to tackle the guilt that's associated with food, especially if you've had it pressed upon you for your entire life. But I am worthwhile. If I want a second slice of pizza and I take the time to think about it, then I'll eat it. If criticized, I'm perfectly willing to let people know just how hard I work, and that being overweight and trying to get healthy doesn't mean I need to forgo all food related pleasure.

If I overdo it without thinking, I just do my best to own it. Everyone overdoes it sometimes. I just think about how I can avoid putting myself in the same situation with the same results again.

Maybe you can try thinking about why you feel the need to secret eat. Is it criticism from your boyfriend? Could you confront him? Are you worried about disappointing others? Is there a reason why you might not want to succeed at your new lifestyle? What do you think would happen if you did eat that sandwich sitting at the kitchen table? Would it work better if you made half a sandwich that's not "on plan" and ate it with others?

There is a way that will work for you, but it might take experimentation to find it. Good luck, and may you get all the support you need.
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Old 03-09-2008, 03:11 AM   #14
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you are not alone at all! the important thing is, to not give up! no matter how hard it is somtimes, there will be easy times too.
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Old 03-09-2008, 10:51 AM   #15
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Hey....I thought I was the only one who was a secret binge eater. Guess not because several have admitted to this corrupt practice. I know I am going to beat myself up but I can't seem to stop. I guess we need to be more intuned to what we are doing. I have gone almost 90 days but slipped 2 days ago with the candy bar at the checkout line. Wolf it down and throw the wrapper away before going into the house. I realize that this is my 'high' and I don't need it to live.

I have been reading the posts here and I am really inspired by the support offered here. I believe I will introduce myself to you in the section. Hope I can jump on and join in......
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