All my life, I've felt like food was calling out to me. I'd pass a donut (or even a donut store) and hear it call, "Come, eat me, yum, I know you want to." This was not limited to donuts, of course. If it was bad for me, I'd hear it calling. Even if I wasn't hungry, even if I was completely full, even if it was the last
thing I needed in the house, I'd hear it calling.
Lately, though, things are remarkably quiet. Sometime in the past month, I stopped hearing those calls. I remember browsing the after-Christmas candy sales, forcing myself not to purchase delicious chocolate at half off. Today, I walked right past a display of after-Valentine chocolate, and didn't even give it a second glance. And suddenly I realized that I'd been doing things like that for weeks.
It's not about saying no to temptation; I thought it was at first, but it's something different. On reflection, I think it comes down to the fact that the temptation isn't overwhelming, consuming, and ever-present. Sometimes, more often than not, lately, it isn't there at all.
What an interesting experience. This may actually be the first time in my entire life that I haven't heard food calling out to me. Last week, when I went out to dinner, I didn't order desert. I was full, I had enjoyed it, and I didn't even consider, not even wistfully, ordering desert. And I'm just now realizing how many dinners out have ended with me feeling unsatisfied (or wistful, or deprived, or regretful), but very proud of my resistance.
I don't think I ever really believed that people didn't hear the call. It's been such a constant part of my life since childhood. People even use that phrase, "it's calling to me," to describe being tempted. I think I believed that everyone struggled just as much as I did to not eat things. I know I believed that I would struggle that much for the rest of my life. How strange to know for a fact that I was wrong. How wonderful, but very, very strange.