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NO support at home

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Old 02-12-2008, 07:26 PM   #1
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Default NO support at home

As I am typing this my DH is making cookies. I want to scream!!
Does anyone else have this problem with no support at home?
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Old 02-12-2008, 07:48 PM   #2
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My husband eats whatever he wants and I don't get mad at him. He is not trying to eat healthy and lose weight like I am, and I accept that. I love him so much and do not want food to come between us. Sometimes it is hard to watch him eat something that looks really good, but I remember how I am losing weight and feeling more energetic and proud of myself!
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Old 02-12-2008, 07:59 PM   #3
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All I can say is Thank God that my Dh never bakes anything other than cornbread! That would be very hard for me also. I guess me getting irritated would depend on if this was a nightly thing, or an occasional thing. If it was nightly, it's sabatoge!

Luckily, DH does what he can to help me out. He's been obese in the past (not since we've been married) and is health conscious and exercises regularly, so he understands the journey I'm on.
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Old 02-12-2008, 08:13 PM   #4
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I had this problem for a long time. My husband would buy cases of Coke, and he does not even drink Coke (I love it). He would buy cookies and muffins and not eat them... even when I asked him not to. Eventually he said something to me along the lines of, "I am not attracted to skinny women."

AHA! So he had to decide: are you attracted to women whose knees are so bad they can't walk? Are you attracted to a woman in the cardiac unit having surgery because she is so unhealthy? How about a woman lying in a coffin, does that turn you on?

Now he is on track pretty well, helping me by only buying what HE wants (I have no issues with him buying HIMSELF one donut or candy bar, just stop buying dozens.)
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Old 02-12-2008, 08:28 PM   #5
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Janis,
I am sorry you are not feeling supported at home. I know for me my husband tries to be supportive but, honestly, we have been eating a certain way for so long and if he is not on board to change the way we eat then it is as frustrating for him as it is for me....he doesn't want Skinny Cow, he wants Ben & Jerry's!

It sounds like you are going to have to find a happy medium here. Try talking to him - he may not realize how it is really bothering you or that he seems unsupportive.

Best of luck to you!
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Old 02-12-2008, 08:39 PM   #6
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Hey Janis!

The support at home is key as this is to be your soft place to land!

I was recently telling my husband (who is fit and can pretty much eat anything he wants!! .. that DRIVES me nuts!) that when people have addiction problems, such as alcohol/drugs etc., not everyone knows that they have a problem BUT, being this overweight shows my addiction (my butt says it all!!)

We have will-power but, it's really hard when there is the smell of fresh baked cookies wafting thru the house! Perhaps a heart-to-heart is in order.

Good luck and stay strong!

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Old 02-12-2008, 08:48 PM   #7
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It's really tough when you don't get any support at home I'm sure. I'd agree with chunkomommy that maybe a heart to heart is in order.

If he cares about you and you explain to him how important this is to you then maybe there can at least be some compromise made. Like maybe if he wants the cookies he can bake them when you're not around. Or go pick up some fresh baked ones from the bakery/coffee shop instead of having them in the house around you.

Gosh that would be tough, no way could I smell fresh baked cookies and not have any.
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Old 02-12-2008, 08:59 PM   #8
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The only time I really don't find support is when my bf is hungry and I'm not, he feels bad and doesnt want to eat when I'm not. So sometimes I cave and get something. But with stuff like cookies, if he wants fresh cookies I will get ones that I can make 1 or two and store the rest. That way he can have cookies and I don't have to.
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Old 02-12-2008, 09:14 PM   #9
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I'm sitting at the reception desk at work right now with a big plate of sunflower sugar cookies in front of me. And I didn't eat lunch. And it's 9pm.

I ate 6.

THEY'RE SMALL! And it was only 400 calories, which balances out lunch, but I still feel horrible about it... and there are still more staring at me.
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Old 02-12-2008, 09:28 PM   #10
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I can relate with the lack of support. It is not that my DH is not happy with what I have accomplished with my weight but he doesnt get it.
He doesn't get that I don't want chips, cakes, ice cream etc. He thinks I'm depriving myself of pizza and all the other garbage. The truth is I really don't want it anymore. I'm over the cravings. As long as I don't have that first bite I won't have any of it. On the other hand my 20 year old son does get it and is very supportive. I love him but I think some people just don't get it when they haven't walked in your shoes. That is why we are here.
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Old 02-12-2008, 10:16 PM   #11
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Oh wow... Can I relate? You bet I can...

He just made Buffalo Chicken Pizza bites... at 10:10 PM!!

Urgh...

It doesn't anger me that he can eat whatever he wants and not gain a pound.

It angers me that he cooks food that I used to love and eats it... while I am working out...

Double wammy...

I can usually resist, but every once in a while I give in and eat a few. It hasn't hurt me soo far.

Luckily I am the baker... not him.

Lol.
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Old 02-13-2008, 08:13 AM   #12
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Oh that is TOUGH!

I have a roommate who doesn't always watch what she puts into recipes. And sometimes I'm thinking "Oh goodness... cornbread, pulled pork and fresh biscuits." Thank goodness we buy our own groceries or I'd be eating half that crap! >_<

Just be sure to keep yourself occupied on 3FC if he bakes cookies again...
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Old 02-13-2008, 08:23 AM   #13
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Thanks for all the support. If it wasnt for this group to log onto when I feel out of sorts or about to do something I wil regret later (eat,eat, eat), I would probaly give up. Thanks everyone.
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Old 02-13-2008, 08:50 AM   #14
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Janis, did you have that heart-to-heart with Hubby and ask for his help? Maybe if you explain the health reasons for losing the weight, he might become more supportive.

May I share my opinion on this? I hear so many women here talk about the fact that their families are not overweight and don't need to lose weight so they have no right to ask that the junk not be around them in the house. But, this is not just about losing weight. This is also about healthy eating. Our children and our Hubby's don't need that junk every day. Its unhealthy! As wives and mothers, we often put ourselves at the bottom of the list....if we even include ourselves on the list at all! For me, I've banned that stuff from the house. This is my safety zone...the one place in life where I'm not being bombarded by temptations at every turn. Willpower doesn't last. Planning and creating a safety zone works wonders for me. Now, we take the children out for an ice cream, we buy them an occasional candy bar as a treat. We occasionally buy one single bag of chips that they consume quickly....nothing sitting around in the pantry for a night time secret munchie session. They get McD's once a week. They aren't deprived, but they are eating a whole lot healthier these days...and that's one of my jobs as a Mom, right?
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Old 02-13-2008, 08:56 AM   #15
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Wow, very well said, Rhonda. I agree with you and there isn't much for me to add!!
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