I think I'm finally, after 12 years, leaving my food-induced excile from my life.
Do you ever feel like life has passed you by while you were too busy worrying about your next snack, if someone else was going to take that last piece of cake, fantasizing about your next drive-thru "treat", etc.
I've been sticking well to my self-made plan for almost a week. My sugar cravings are deminishing and even the "sugar shakes" are getting better.
But, today was like a light went on -- I just keep looking around like everything around me is brand new -- playing with the kids is more enjoyable, I can finally focus on the things I need to get done (without constantly thinking about when I will be alone so I can devore whatever snacks are left that I haven't eaten).
It's like my focus is back on track. My priorities are shifting away from what I eat, when I eat, what I weigh or (don't weigh) and when I can have my next binge. I swear it's starting to be exciting to me to get up every morning and actually have control and plan the day ahead. I hope this feeling stays, grows and overwhelms me like binge eating used to.
Oh Shelby, I'm soooo happy for you. You get it. You really, really get it. It only gets better from here on in. There are soooo many more rewards just ahead for you. Stick with it. Ya hear?!?!?!? Just stick with it.
that IS an awesome feeling!! I used to almost dread not having enough diet coke in the house - until i realized oh yah, water comes out of that fawcet thing and i can drink it...hmmmm hehheh Same with the snacks - panic mode that i only have 2 different types of snacks for the evenings, not 3 or 4 different things GULP are you even kidding???
It's FREEEEDOM now!! I'm glad you're feeling it too
Shelby, I was exactly like you esp. with the waiting to be alone so I could devour whatever is left. I would buy snacks "for the kids" and they would have one, wake up the next morning and they were GONE, mommy ate them This was one thing that was a wake up call for me, when they got big enough to realize mommy was eating everything. I didn't want my kids thinking of me as the one who eats all the food, eats all their snacks, etc.
I now look for every possible time to get alone and exercise. I can't wait for them to go to school so I have my 3.5 hours in the AM and I plan out what exercise I will do...it has replaced the focus that used to be on food.
Congratulations, Shelby. Jen had posted an intriguing question earlier about whether or not being "on plan" mimics an eating disorder, and my response was that it seems more to me like getting sober. Everything else is just better. So happy that you're feeling it! As Robin said, it just gets better from here, even for those of us who don't have Robin's enviable and impeccable discipline.
Last edited by LaurieDawn; 01-30-2008 at 08:49 PM.
As Robin said, it just gets better from here, even for those of us who don't have Robin's enviable and impeccable discipline.
Wait a sec, wait a sec, just hold on...... I do admit to being incredibly determined, disciplined, focused and consistient during the LOSING portion of my journey. But as I've posted over in the maintainers forum, I most certainly have had my ummm, let's call it - UNdisplined moments. More then a few of them in fact. But luckily as I was losing, I incorporated some wonderful LIFETIME habits into my life and those moments are nothing, absolutely NOTHING like the old days.
Oh Robin, you've made me nervous - just kidding, I know it's still an uphill battle from here, but I'm so ready for it!! I can tell I've come a long way when my eating buddy (my mom) and my dad came to visit (3 1/2 hour drive) for their anniversary -- as I watched her take a bite of every single item on my counters as dinner was being prepared -- I realized just 1 week ago I would have joined in with her, stuffing myself before dinner was even served. But tonight, the thought never crossed my mind (partially because I had already entered what I planned to eat in my dailyplate log and didn't feel like changing it ). I love her dearly, but sometimes I think she was my "drug dealer", tempting me to "join her team"!!! I feel stronger and determined to do it right this time. And, everyone here is such an inspiration, even when they have a bad day, they admit it and make the changes necessary to move on. Love you guys
Oh Shelby, you're sounding stronger and stronger every single minute. Woohoo!!!
And please, don't let what I've said about the displine waning in maintenance make you nervous. Believe me, it's nothing at all, not even close to what it used to be. In the old days I would go months and months, heck probably years of day after day of horrendous eating. Just horrendous. Now, it's very in frequent, never more then 2 days and it's no where near as horrendous as it used to be. Not even near by a mile. And I'm perfectly okay with it. It's my way of maintenance. It's not for everyone, but it's what works for ME.
Although like you said, it may be a battle at times, I'm up for it and so will you be. And it's sooo worth the fight. So, so, so, so, so WORTH it. I can't wait til you FULLY discover that. And I'm thinking - you're pretty darn close.
HI I've been on vacation for about 45 days and I'm glad to be back to this kind of thread. Shelby I'm so happy for you to have your head where it belongs.
My Food Induced Excile
are getting better. 
This was one thing that was a wake up call for me, when they got big enough to realize mommy was eating everything. I didn't want my kids thinking of me as the one who eats all the food, eats all their snacks, etc. 
