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relationship with food?

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Old 01-28-2008, 06:54 PM   #1
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Default relationship with food?

I'm going to admit when people start talking about their "relationship" with food it's a little confusing. I mean food isn't living or breathing, I don't feel I have a relationship with food no more than I have a relationship with my car. I like to eat food, and I have to drive. I don't really get that whole thing. I also get that same odd feeling when exercise gurus start talking about elongating muscles. You can't make muscles longer, only bigger, but I digress...what do all of you think about your "relationship" with food? Maybe I'm just missing something.

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Old 01-28-2008, 07:17 PM   #2
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When I talk about my relationship with food, it generally refers to emotional eating. Food to me isn't just something that sustains my body. It's this powerful thing I'm addicted to and that I use for comfort. So I think when people talk about their relationships to food, they might mean that eating for them just isn't a biological necessity, but tied in with a ton of other different emotional issues.
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Old 01-28-2008, 10:06 PM   #3
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I don't just like to eat food. I an emotional eater, I can tell you that I definitely have a relationship with food. Food comforts me when I'm feeling sad, energizes me when I'm feeling tired, keeps me company when I'm lonely, entertains me when I'm bored and helps me celebrate when I'm joyful. Food may not live and breathe, but it oftentimes takes the place of a best friend. I wish I could blame my weight issues on liking food. All I would need to do is start liking healthy low calories foods and, voila, I'd be slender.
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Old 01-28-2008, 10:16 PM   #4
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I have the same "relationship" with food -- it's like a bad, vendictive friend -- it tries to comfort me when I'm sad/lonely/upset/depressed, etc. but only offers what I consider bad advice -- it never actually fixes my problem, just creates a new one (bloating, weight gain, etc.)
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Old 01-28-2008, 11:40 PM   #5
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Relationship isn't only a word to describe interactions between living things. Webster defines relationship like this: "a connection, association, or involvement." That's the #1 definition on their list. So, I definitely have a connection, association and/or involvement with food (even emotionally) at times. And, come to think of it, with my car too.

Like Rhonda said, I've used food to comfort myself when I'm sad or lonely, to amuse myself when I'm bored, to fuel myself when I'm tired, and to celebrate when I'm joyful. It's used for much more than just necessity. Otherwise, none of us would be fat!
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Old 01-29-2008, 07:26 AM   #6
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Kimmi -

Webster describes empathy as, "the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner; also : the capacity for this"

While I'm sure you didn't mean to offend anyone, I believe one of the best features here at 3FC is that we can be honest about our weight issues and receive empathy & support from others.

Please try to empathize that while a relationship with food may not be an issue with you, it is for many others.
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Old 01-29-2008, 07:39 AM   #7
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Gr8smyl99,
I believe that's exactly what kimmieone is trying to do. By understanding what we mean when we say "relationship" with food, she's trying to be more supportive.

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Kimmieone -
As the above have said, "relationship" doesn't just hold for people. I use the phrase "My relationship with food" when I'm talking about all of my interactions with it. Yes, sometimes it's emotional, but certainly not always.
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Old 01-29-2008, 08:49 AM   #8
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I don't see how asking that particular question is offensive. I'm trying to understand something not criticize anyone, so I'm not going to apologize for that. I'm supportive of everyone here and hope everyone reach their goals and I have empathy for everyone trying to drop pounds and trying to become more healthy, even if I wasn't in the same situation, which I clearly am. But I'm going to be myself, just like you all. If something is confusing to me or sound like a company line I'm going to question it. I question things that are constantly repeated just because some of us heard them over and over again, self included. I'm talking about the elongated muscle thing btw not the relationship with food thing. Having said that, I do understand the "relationship" with food issue better and appreciate all your post in helping me do that.

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Old 01-29-2008, 09:39 AM   #9
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I was not offended at all by your question. Actually, since I am an emotional eater myself I'm jealous! I wish I did not have a "relationship" with food. It should just be something we eat for nutritional value to give us energy to accomplish what we need, not a source of comfort, etc.

Take care, and keep asking questions...
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Old 01-29-2008, 10:02 AM   #10
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Nor am I, but I have never thought of myself as having a "relationship" with food either. Certainly it is part of my life, and I really enjoy it. I don't think of it as a friend, or as evil, or negative, etc. The issues I have dealing with food are actually issues I have with myself. I think maybe I understand what you are getting at. The food itself has nothing to do with my issues with food. It does nothing but sit there and look delicious. It has no power or influence over me. Any weakness or lack of control is all me. Is that it?
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Old 01-29-2008, 10:04 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigtxmomma View Post
When I talk about my relationship with food, it generally refers to emotional eating. Food to me isn't just something that sustains my body. It's this powerful thing I'm addicted to and that I use for comfort. So I think when people talk about their relationships to food, they might mean that eating for them just isn't a biological necessity, but tied in with a ton of other different emotional issues.
This is me exactly. Some of us are addicted to food. It would be the same as if we were addicted to alcohol or drugs. The main difference is we can't give up food.

I don't think your post was offensive at all. It sounds like you are trying to understand something that you yourself don't experience.

Do you have any foods that you feel your life would be incomplete without? Or do you see food as just fuel for the body? Have you used food to comfort yourself or fill a void? Then chances are you have a "relationship" with food. I know I have one. I love food. I love the smells, the textures, chewing it, everything about it. That's one of the reasons I had to find something that will work for me so I'm not giving up something I love. So far it's working pretty well.
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Old 01-29-2008, 10:07 AM   #12
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Hey kimmieone! All questions are welcome if phrased in a respectful way, and I think you did that.

About muscle "elongation": This usually means stretching muscle, such as with yoga or just regular stretches you might learn at a gym or from a book. Muscles do "shorten"--or rather, become less flexible--with lack of use, sitting all day, etc. For example, can you bend over and touch the floor without bending your knees? Many people cannot do that, and it's because they don't have muscle flexibility. Muscles can become more flexible (elongated) with stretching exercises.

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Old 01-29-2008, 10:26 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kimmieone View Post
I'm going to admit when people start talking about their "relationship" with food it's a little confusing. I mean food isn't living or breathing, I don't feel I have a relationship with food no more than I have a relationship with my car. I like to eat food, and I have to drive. I don't really get that whole thing. I also get that same odd feeling when exercise gurus start talking about elongating muscles. You can't make muscles longer, only bigger, but I digress...what do all of you think about your "relationship" with food? Maybe I'm just missing something.
Kimmie,

It's a great question and one I wish I didn't have the answer to. I know you want to understand so here's how it is for me...
I have always viewed food as an emotional crutch of sorts - the full "satisfied" feeling you can have from food was something that I used
to replace the lack of other support in my life -with emotionally distant parents and few friends I often turned to food almost for "love" I didn't receive anywhere else. I love food .. the tastes, the smells, the textures, the satisfied feeling I would have after a good meal. Until recently my life has almost competely revolved around food - when I could eat next, what I would be eating.. it still does, to a point because I need to watch so carefully what I eat to make sure that I am not overeating.
for me, food is like an abusive lover, or a drug, but it differs because If I break up with it or quit it I will die. So that's where "relationship" comes in for me -I have spent the past several years having to deal with changing my outlook and trying to view food as fuel. I have only recently even really learned what "hungry" feels like and when to stop because I am full and satisfied, and not completely stuffed. food and eating have a very strong hold on my life, and it's something I will probably never be completely free of, but I am working hard to control those feelings and it gets better every day.
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Old 01-29-2008, 10:29 AM   #14
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JayEll, I didn't know that. Thanks for the info, because every time I hear that "I'm like what in the heck are they talking about getting long lean muscles?" I thought it might have started with the possibility of making oneself look leaner through light weight training and slimming down, giving the "appearance of long lean muscles" and somehow got twisted where that dropped the "appearance" part. I'm glad to learn more about where that came from and it clearly makes more sense to me now.

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Old 01-29-2008, 10:30 AM   #15
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Quote:
Do you have any foods that you feel your life would be incomplete without?
Good point barbygirl. I guess if I look at it this way, I would have to admit to a serious, almost adulterous relationship with chocolate!
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