Are you looking for some accountability? This is a great place to get it and support too!
I decided to start a new thread here, because I notice that when I post things Sunday night they are often overlooked by the Monday thread, and I wanted all of the Accountability thread regulars know what I have been up to.
That said, sorry I have been MIA for most of this week! We had a conference at our church with dinners every day. So as you could imagine, a buffet with lots of not good for you foods. It has been both a blessing and a curse, a blessing because the kind pastors wife has made sure that we took plenty of food home (knowing our current financial situation) so we have, so far, been able to avoid a major grocery store trip. However, it's a curse because I am still a little weak to be trusted with these foods, and since I have not had much time to exercise after I get done with work before I had to leave for the meetings. That's not to say that I couldn't have made time for it (I made time for it one day this week, but that's it), but the end result is that I may have taken a few steps back.
Now that the conference is over, things really should settle down and I should be able to get back on my routine with my food journal and exercise. One pro to all of this, is that it's been about 2 months since I've really lost any weight, so starting up again full throttle may have a similar affect to when I first started my program in August. If not, though, I won't be disappointed. I know that if I stay true to my plan, it can only improve myself mentally, physically and yes, even emotionally.
As for my personal life -- I'm finally on a day schedule (for the most part) now. We (my fiance and I) still don't have any jobs, but my freelancing work is starting to pick up again. I have an interview on Tuesday with another company, and John is going on an interview on Thursday and the local community college.
My fiance keeps asking if I have given up on my diet. I don't care how bad it looks or how badly I've screwed up in anyone's eyes, in my eyes, I can tell a difference. Even when I have overate this week, I only felt mildly uncomfortable and never stuffed myself so full that I was miserable, as I have done in the past. It may not be the kind of improvement I want to have ultimately, but it IS an improvement. I am not discouraged by that in the least. Yes, I haven't been that good, but yes, I am going in a better direction than I was going a year ago.
I also find that as I continue down this and notice all of the changes, it is easier for me to admit things that I was embarrassed about before, like how much I used to eat a day, typically, or when activities tired me out but I always tried to "tough it out" so that I didn't look like my weight was holding me back.
I don't really want to lose weight so quick that my emotions can't keep up with the changes in my body. I also don't want to set myself up for failure by setting perfection as my standard to live by. Sure, maybe if I was perfect I would have lost another 10 to 20lbs by now, but there is NO sense in beating myself up over that, and I know it!
Anyway, there's also the added stress of beginning the serious preparations for my wedding with all of the financial setbacks that I have -- my parents are going to send me some money that they promised they would give me, so that will help me take care of some things before hand.