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What if your family isn't supportive?

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Old 10-14-2007, 11:17 PM   #1
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Default What if your family isn't supportive?

I'm having such a hard time. I feel like I'm in this alone. DH and I are living with my parents right now (oh...along with our 2 year old triplets) because we're saving to build a house next Summer. I do all the cooking for everyone. I want soooo badly to prepare meals that are on plan for me but they get snubbed by DH and my dad (my Mom would probably be Ok with most of them). We simply cannot afford and I do not have the time to prepare separate meals. I end up eating things I don't need to eat because it's what the majority wants. And I'm getting frustrated and resentful of the extra time it's adding my weight-loss process. I already had to cut back to 4 days at the gym because that's all my Mom can do in terms of child care.

I feel like I'm never going to get to my goal. I really wanted to be under 200 by Christmas. It's not looking like that's happening at this point.

Any suggestings from others in similar situations? I do OK for breakfast and lunch because we're all pretty much on our own for those and I can make my own choices. It's dinner that messes me up.

Oh, and ironically...Dad and DH both need to lose weight (badly) too.

Monica
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Old 10-14-2007, 11:51 PM   #2
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I don't know how picky they are, but there are a lot of meals that can be made flexible enough for dieters and nondieters. One of my favorites is tacos.

I brown 1 lb of 85% - 90% lean ground beef, with onion, celery, and bell pepper, and when the meat is about 3/4 browned, I add 1 cup of dry tvp granules from the health food store (soy protein, looks like grape nuts cereal). I add about 1.5 cups of hot water and a bouillon cube (chicken, vegetable, chipotle pepper, or beef). I add a packet of taco seasoning mix, about 1/2 cup of salsa and a couple tablespoons of ketchup.

My husband didn't even know it wasn't all meat the first time I made this. Now when I make it, I also add some frozen corn and a can of black beans or fat free refried beans. This makes a huge batch, and I freeze anything that is left over. Every few minutes, until it freezes, I mix up the bag so it can be scooped out one serving at a time and microwaved for a quick lunch.

Usually we invite friends over for tacos, and the non-dieters use flour tortillas, full fat sour cream, cheese and guacamole on their tacos. I save calories by using fat free sour cream and corn tortillas for my tacos, or I make a taco salad.

Roasted (or rotisserie) chicken, or pot roast is another meal that can be great for dieters and nondieters.

A great "oven-fried" recipe that is great for nondieters (no one has ever noticed when I've served it to company) can be made with pork, chicken, or fish. Marinate serving size pieces in light ranch dressing. Roll in seasoned bread crumbs (or even mashed potato flakes with salt, pepper, and garlic).

I line a baking pan with foil for easy clean-up (but it's not necessary). Spray a little cooking spray on the pan. Lay down the coated pieces of meat or fish, and lightly spray again. Then bake at 375 degrees until done (about 25 -35 minutes for fish, up to an hour for very thick bone-in pieces of chicken).


There are tons of recipes and meals that can be easily adapted to dieters and nondieters, just by changing one or two of the sides for the dieter.
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Old 10-14-2007, 11:51 PM   #3
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What don't they like about the meals? Can you do some "substitutions"? I've found that I can cook healthy food that resembles a lot of our favorites!

- Tacos with ground turkey instead of beef -- and then lowfat cheese and sour cream.
- Grilled meats with steamed veggies and a sauce on the side (I love balsamic vinegar because it's got tons of flavor and I need very little oil)
- Chili with ground turkey instead of beef and some extra veggies thrown in. More beans too...

I honestly think our food is tastier than it ever used to be, because I pay attention to how to get the flavor in!!
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Old 10-15-2007, 12:32 AM   #4
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If you can manage to eat healthy breakfasts and lunches then I think that, besides trying some substitutions, I'd worry more about portion control at dinner. You can still be very successful that way and it might cut down on some of the stress.

I think it's also important to remember that the fact that they don't want to change their diets doesn't mean they are unsupportive of you. There really is no reason they should eat food they don't like in order to make it easier for you. This is especially true if you're not in your own house. It makes it a lot harder to make the rules.

Watching triplets four times a week so you can go to the gym is a pretty cool thing for your mom to do. Extra points for that.
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Old 10-15-2007, 06:00 AM   #5
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Tough situation. I'd have to go along the same lines as wonder why they wouldn't want to eat some healthy DELICOUS meals as well? I make such yummy food, no one would know that it's healthy, or should I say no one would MIND that it's healthy. I make chicken breasts with all different kinds of yummy sauces, lemon, garlic, wine. I make a taco chicken salad. Spaghetti squash with chicken and portabello mushrooms. Salmon. All sorts of things. Perhaps you want to experiment with some different recipes. I'm telling you the stuff I make is good enough to serve to company.

Here's a link to a great thread we have here with out of this world sounding chicken recipes, I suggest you check it out for some ideas.

101 plus, ways to make chicken

It really is a shame to let a whole days worth of good eating be ruined by dinner. If they don't agree to your food, I would have to suck it up and somehow make myself some different meals. Maybe spend a couple hours a week making stuff just for you and freezing them in single portions. I would even eat tuna and a huge salad or a veggie burger and a huge salad or with a large amount of vegetables - not much time spent required.
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Old 10-15-2007, 07:49 AM   #6
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Hey! Four times a week to the gym is really good, under the circumstances, so don't worry about that. Maybe you can do something else on the days you don't go to the gym, like an exercise video of some sort. You may have interruptions, but it would still be good.

You didn't mention what kinds of foods your family like. But I agree with Robin41 that portion control at dinner could be a key for you. Mashed potatoes? Just measure out 1/3 or 1/2 cup for yourself and don't go beyond it. Spaghetti with meat sauce? Same thing--1/2 cup or two ounces cooked pasta, 1/2 cup sauce. Salads? You can always have one for yourself if they don't like salad--and if they do, then you just need to set some aside and use your own lowfat or fat free dressing on it.

Just some ideas...

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Old 10-15-2007, 08:05 AM   #7
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You just have to make a different meal for yourself. I cook 3 different types of meals every day, 7 days a week... one for my English husband who needs meat/potatoes/butter/lard/bread - one for my picky 13 year old who lives on pasta and garlic bread and one for myself (grilled chicken/veggies)

Yes it's a pain in the butt and a lot of work... but I wouldn't have lost 50+ pounds if I didn't make the effort.

They don't resent me for eating differently, I don't resent them for wanting to eat what they enjoy.
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Old 10-15-2007, 08:33 AM   #8
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I agree with portion control AND changing up some of the family favorites. You are at an advantage being the one that cooks. You make the decisions as to what goes in those dishes. If your family really doesn't like it, they can hire a new cook! Chances are though, they will just eat what is in front of them instead!

I have 4 kids and a picky husband! I hide a lot of veggies in dishes I make. I shred them so you cant tell what they are. For example when I make sloppy joes, I use 1 lb of hamburger, onion, peppers, cellery, shredded carrots, and shredded zucchini! A lot of the veggies are desguised in the sauce. I have tweeked a lot of family recipes like that.

The other thing is portion control. there are dinners that my family loves that are high in calories, but not bad for you. But I still make them the same. I have a problem with portion control, not the rest of my family! So I get 1 cup serving of it and then add a nice big salad to it! That way everyone is happy.

I think if you don't tell your family that you are changing things up at dinner, they may not even notice. I cook one meal (I know how busy houses can get!) If you don't like what we are having, you are going to be hungery. Sometimes my family complains, but in the end they always eat! Good luck
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Old 10-15-2007, 08:43 AM   #9
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portion control, well said, maybe you can have a big salad for yourself everynight when dinner is served, then eat a little of what you made for everyone, you might inspire others to eat salad too. I know it must be hard for you to go on when the support is not there. Keep going girl, you are doing great, I can't get into the gym more than 2x a week, and I have no kids, so keep pushing on!
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Old 10-15-2007, 09:32 AM   #10
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Hi,
My hubby won't eat much of the food I cook, so I end up cooking 2 meals most of the time, sometimes I just eat something easy for me, Veggie burger with salad, or tuna, or a sweet potato, you get the idea.. I do not eat red meat, or poultry, but my kids love non-meat foods. I make tofu with veggies,they love it, veggie chilli, they eat it, pasta with beans and greens they love it.... When I make these things Hubby sometimes makes his own chicken soup, or I will make hime some eggs, with meat..... It is a problem with our budget, but I am not going to compromise, because being healthy is too important to me..
That said I think you need to sit down with your family and tell them how you feel, and ask for suggestions what to do... Maybe one day a week you can cook something for you that they all agree to try and if they like it you can keep on trying it. There are lots of great websites out there with healthy recipes that you can fool people. I hope you can find a solution.
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Old 10-15-2007, 10:44 AM   #11
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What types of things does your family like? I belong to a rock outloud recipe club and can probably give you some ideas if I know what they like.
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Old 10-15-2007, 10:44 AM   #12
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I guess I am lucky, it's just me and the 2 kids and they are enjoying the healthy foods as long as they get a snack every now and then. I can't imagine what you could be serving that no one will eat. Many times calories and fat can be cut just by preparing food differently. I switched from using butter and oil to Crisco Olive Oil cooking spray and it has made a big difference. I can't believe how long a little tub of butter has lasted me! I used to go through the biggest tub of Country Crock in a week, now the smallest one lasts a month. Whatever you are making, just eat an ON PLAN portion of it and then fill up on veggies. You can do it, even if every one else in the family wants to be heavy!
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Old 10-15-2007, 11:02 AM   #13
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4 times a week is really good. It's awesome of your Mom to be willing to do that so much.. I bet it takes a lot of energy for her.

As far as the food goes, I am with everyone else. Spend some time looking up recipes. You can find all kinds of ways to add flavor and to substitute healthy ingredients.

I love the website (www.allrecipes.com) If you go under the search engine you can even search by ingredientsólisting things you want to include and foods you donít want. Itís great!!
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Old 10-15-2007, 11:10 AM   #14
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Okay....after reading everyone else's answers, I feel like Cruella Deville. But, I really have to go with my gut reaction to your question. Monica, if you are doing the cooking...then, you should decide what to cook and they should just be grateful that they don't have to do the cooking and eat what is put in front of them!! Cook two meals....absolutely not! If they don't want what you cook, then tell them to get in the kitchen and cook their own meals. Eating healthy benefits everyone and they should be supportive of your attempts to get healthy. I despise cooking. My hubby loves to cook and he cooks wonderfully(as you can tell from my ticker!) I would never be so rude as to complain about anything he puts on my plate. Your husband and father should be ashamed. Stand up for yourself.
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Old 10-15-2007, 11:23 AM   #15
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You certainly can cook healthy, delicious meals that are good for you and the non dieters, how about a meal with a green salad, lean meat, fish, or chicken, fresh , or frozen vegetables, you can even add fresh fruit. That is a healthy meal for anybody, if the non dieters insist, they could add a dinner roll and desert of pie or cake, you would just avoid the desert and dinner roll.That is a pretty easy meal to prepare. Congrats on the triplets just try to keep things as simple as possible, you need all the energy you can get.
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