I haven't posted in a very long time so I'm "new, again". I need support in my healthy-ness.
A bit about me and where I'm at right now. I've decided I don't want to "diet" anymore and I don't want to hide in my "overweight-ness". I've been looking back over my weight loss history and wondered why have my efforts failed me over and over again. I think it's because of my viewpoint of being overweight that makes me think there is something wrong with me, something not worthy about me because of my weight. But after going in and out of weight watchers, attending an overeaters anonymous meeting, doing other diet programs, trying it on my own, I have come to realize that there is nothing wrong with who I am. I am a perfectly good person. I don't need to be "recalled", this product (me) is not damaged or dented or hazardous to anyone. But, that's how I've viewed myself in the past, which only made me sink deeper and deeper into the food.
That said, I still weigh more than my physical body wishes me to be. I have absorbed all the negative self-thinking into my body via food and that is how I got to where I am right now. I am at a dangerously unhealthy weight but for the first time in my life, I love who God created me to be. The inner person is worthy of a healthy and beautiful life. But, this doesn't change my history. I have set my foot on a path that was self-destructive and self-deprivating. How did I allow myself to get here? I need help. I've learned along my way the importance of support and the thrill of having a TEAM beside you to cheer you on (thanks Team in Training). Plus, now I have gained the confidence of having a postive "tape" in my head that reminds me that I (my inner me) is ok just as she is. The fat on my body does not define who I can be. It is what people see of me and it is how my body has reacted to all of my self-abuse on this path but it isn't me. Habits I have formed along the way have wreaked havoc on my health and rolls have formed in places they aren't desired.
All that said... Here I am, standing in this spot of my life wondering how I'll get to that next step of GOOD health. Can you help me?
I grew up with a dietician mom (you'd think I'd have better eating habits), I've attended many weight watchers meetings (you'd think I"d have better eating habits), I've walked/run 3 half marathons and taken many aerobics classes (you'd think I'd have better exercise habits) and I'm stuck. I can't seem to create new habits that I won't quit or fail at. How do I get back on the path of good health and formulate good patterns and habits that will last me a lifetime?
Any ideas?