Live and Learn
 

Live and Learn!

You may or may not remember me ranting a while back on a “lunch friend’ I have that I used to work with – I supported ALL her efforts at weight loss and was her biggest cheerleader over every pound she lost. However, when it’s MY turn, even 35 lbs. down, she’s “oh so you’re really going to do it this time, eh?” in a snotty snotty voice! I did NOT think that was cool. And then proceeded to talk about HER life, HER hubby, etc., and completely cut me off. PS I’m not the ‘wallflower’ type, I have a strong personality and like to talk so that took SOME doing!

So yesterday, another woman I used to work with and got along with really really well, came into the office after not seeing us all for about 2 months -- She’s tall and thin and gorgeous and worked with a trainer last year to get super sculpted and fit, she’s amazing looking – she takes me aside and says “you’ve been losing weight girile, what have you been doing?” and she talked to me about weight and food and exercise for OVER an hour and said if I needed any tips on exercise form, or a walk buddy, I could always call her! She said I was looking great and that I’m on the right track. It was very motivational and inspiring!

SO, my lesson learned is that sometimes the people you least expect can disappoint you, but at the same time, sometimes the people you least suspect can be awesome!

That is a great story and you are right a great lesson!!!
cheryl

That's awesome!

Trazey
You are so right. I am glad you found someone to give your the pat on the back and the encouragement you need.

I have to say I found support in the last place I thought I would find it, my sister. She has been a big girl, 200 to 300lbs all her grown up life. Except when she decided she was tired of being fat and got down to 105 or something like that was was finaly smaller than I was. I was very saddened when she went right back to her old eating habits after reaching her goal and gained all the weight back. I have always been the small one in the family. Never over 120 while she and my mom were between 200 and 300 our whole lives. Even as a kid she was slightly over weight and in her early teens the weight really started coming on.

We hadn't seen each other in a very long time, and while she knew I had been very sick for a very long time and the lbs were getting pack on because of meds she couldn't believe how big I was, 198 when she saw me.

She kind of teased me and said I was a rolly poly or something. I thought she would be happy I was finaly big. SHE WASN'T I never put up with kids teasing her and sure never ate a candy bar in front of her when she was trying to lose weight. I was always her biggest supporter but deep down I felt she resented me because I could eat anything I wanted and never gain a lb. She looked at a cookie and wham 5lbs were gained it seemed.

She told me she remembers all the years thru school and how I stood up for her even thou I didn't like her much. Yes, in some ways she did resent that I never put on weight but she sure didn't want me to feel the way I felt about myself and to heck with what the doc said " I could TRY to lose weight" I never put my mind to anything and didn't accomplish it, she saw no reason I couldn't do this too.

I called her when I had lost 22lbs. You would have thought she lost it herself. She was so excited for me, so happy and said it had to be killing me being this big. You are right, support comes from the last place you expect it sometimes.

While we still don't talk much, we are such different people and live such different lives. We are still there for each other on a very basic level.

Aw, Trazey, that IS a nice story. It's a great feeling when someone who is very fit recognizes all your hard work and efforts. I really found this to be an incredible thing as I went along on my journey. I found perfectly thin people asking ME, of all people, for advice. It was mindblowing to me.

As long as I've got you here, I have to tell you something. This is the strangest thing. I had a dream just this past night and YOU were in it. In the dream I was watching TV and an advertisement came on for Oprah and it was about people who have lost a lot of weight - and there you were. Your smiling signature photo was staring back at me on the tube. I was so excited, I had to get on the computer and start a thread telling everyone here that Trazey was gonna be on Oprah, only I couldn't log on. I was so frustrated. I hope you don't think I'm a stalker or anything, but gosh - it was indeed strange. :fr::fr::fr:

I'm glad to know she wasn't all upedy and conceited about herself. You may have found you a buddy there!

Yep, you can't judge a book by its cover....

I related something similar about my Jenny Craig consultant on this thread:
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/show...106160&page=16

hahah that made me laugh! if anyone's going on oprah my friend, it'll be YOU! LOL

I better get my hair done soon...can't go on Oprah lookin' shaggy ;)

Trazey, please don't take this the wrong way. You are absolutely gorgeous now, I mean it's that gorgeous smile of yours that apparently has stuck in my head that I was actually dreaming about you, but on the advertisement for Oprah, you looked your same exact beautiful self, (here comes the don't take this the wrong way part) only thinner. And so incredibly (not that you're not now) drop dead gorgeous. My mouth was hanging open. You most certainly deserved to be on Oprah. And ya know what, there's no reason on earth that you can't. How about we go together? Deal? Surely sounds good to me. ;)

heheh it's a date! we'll be on Oprah together ;)

let's have a 3FC Oprah show! whooot!

I will be in the front row clapping for all of you.

Trazey - It's really a shame you couldn't find support from your friend, but GREAT that support found you! I'm happy for you ^^

This may sound weird, but in some way maybe the friend who shot you down is somehow jealous. Is all her weight still off? Does she fear people will be paying more attention to you instead of her?

Not that those are good reasons to be unsupportive, but it might better explain her behavior. She might be one of those people that you will just have to wait for her to ask about your weight loss in order to talk about it. (Or as soon as you've reached your goal go ahead and casually mention it to make her jealous again :devil: Hee hee I'm so bad! ^^)

Faerie

You made some very good points. Could even be as simple as she thinks you are a very pretty woman. Doesn't want you to look better than you already do. Woman can be so catty.

I know... It's so sad! ;_; Petty jealousy gets in the way of so much.

But this forum is in no way like that :D Everyone is always telling eachother how great they look & how good they're doing. And how much they should be on Oprah! I <3 it!!!

You know, it IS weird. My weight-obsessed mom is on/off with the support, although she seems to be adjusting now that I'm more or less at goal. But the most supportive comments came from really fit people at my gym...including the sometimes-professional-bodybuilder woman who has competition-level bodyfat and trains people/teaches her aerobics classes in a sports bra and shortshorts. She ended up talking to me in the locker room about how much weight I had lost.

Its heartening to know that support can be found in weird places, even if that support can't be found in the places we expect it.