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How do you de-stress?

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Old 09-23-2007, 10:02 AM   #1
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Default How do you de-stress?

Over the past two days, I have discovered stress is the best diet for me. I don't eat, I don't drink, I don't move. And now I'm down 3 lbs!

Yes, I know it's terrible and that is completely sarcastic. I am hurting my body. Not on purpose, but I am.

Just curious...when something really bad is happening in your life, and you are stressed out 24-7, how do you calm down? I can't seem to shake this gut twisting pain, the rapid heart rate, the sweaty palms. And I have no idea when the situation, or IF the situation, will improve. All I know is my body is suffering for this, and I can't snap out of it.

Any tips and/or suggestions would be awesomely appreciated.
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Old 09-23-2007, 10:08 AM   #2
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For me, I put some pounding music on my mp3 player and hit the treadmill at the gym--or I go for a walk by myself and just focus on the music. I usually come home a much happier, much relaxed person.

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Old 09-23-2007, 10:31 AM   #3
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Exercise to pounding music always works for me, too. Or if I'm so stressed because I'm hella busy, I write write write write write til my pen runs out of ink--and then I find another pen and keep going! For me the secret is to do something that gets the stress OUT of me. Anything. Move, write, punch a pillow, jump up and down, go someplace private and scream, whatever. Get it OUT.

Good luck finding what works for you!
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Old 09-23-2007, 10:44 AM   #4
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I'm so sorry you're going through a rough time.

For me there's all different kinds of stress. The every day stuff - overwhelmed with the kids, work, laundry, errands, bills, etc.. Then there's the MAJOR stuff. G-d forbid a health crisis. And of course the stuff in between. I do different things at different times.

One thing that really helps, funny enough, is shifting my focus from what's going on and putting my energies into, yup, my new healthy lifestyle. I really do find comfort from sticking to this like glue at times of ultra stress. I find when life around me is all screwy and up in the air and things are out of my hands, that the control I can exude through staying on plan is more welcome then ever.

I also, another odd one, like to straighten up the house/clean/organize. I know, I'm weird.

I also find that coming on the computer and 3FC is a great way to destress. I love hanging out here and reading and responding to the various threads.

I sit down with a magazine and a hot cup of tea. This one is best for me at the end of the day, when I want to wind down. Usually I need to do something more active when something stressful pops up.

Go for a walk. Or pop an exercise video on. ANY form of exercise is a great way to destress for me these days. This one still amazes me.

I hope whatever you're going through passes quickly and resolves itself in a positive manner.
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Old 09-23-2007, 10:56 AM   #5
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Toni, I'm so sorry you're dealing with a tough situation. I also know that I respond to some stresses exactly the way you're describing, so I completely relate to that impulse. Like mj and sidhe, I find intense exercise - especially when accompanied by that pounding beat - does help me to work out all of that frustration. You also don't mention the source of the stress. If it's possible, meeting it head on is really good for me to help me alleviate the stress of the situation, and actually, the exercise will often help me build up the resolve to face it. But this situation sounds like something over which you have no control. If so, I have to agree with Robin. Recognizing that you do have control over this significant part of your life could make a big difference to your psyche, making your ability to face it greater.

Good luck in facing whatever's troubling you.
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Old 09-23-2007, 11:52 AM   #6
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Not that I enjoy spreading my personal business all around, but I am freaking out here. I am pretty sure my husband is leaving me. So...I'd say it's a major stress. I have no energy to breathe, let alone exercise. Usually when I am nervous, I clean the house. I can't even do that. I just don't know what to do to calm down, but I am afraid if I don't, I am going to do major damage to my body. Between not eating, feeling like I'm going to throw up, and my heart pounding hard and fast, I just don't know what to do.
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Old 09-23-2007, 12:08 PM   #7
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I wish when I was stressed I would do the same as you, even though i know it's bad.

In the past before I started my diet, I would go eat more if I was stressed. But now, I'm trying to channel my stress into something like go to sleep or do something to occupy me like surfing the net. Sometimes I also find listening to music a way to cope w/ stress.
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Old 09-23-2007, 12:27 PM   #8
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woah that is major news, i don't think a few minutes on a treadmill is going to do any good ~ is this something you can talk to your husband about? Ask him point blank, at least have the stress of "not knowing" relieved? easier said than done, i know

i'm the same way with stress -- when things are happy and fun (99% of the time, according to my scales, since when i'm happy i'm always shoving food in my face, but when stress hits i shut down, can't eat at all.
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Old 09-23-2007, 12:38 PM   #9
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Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. I agree about asking him point blank. At least you'll know and can focus on what you need to do next- counseling, working on your marriage, budgeting, living arrangments. Not that those aren't stressful, but at least it would give you some focus.

Hang in there.
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Old 09-23-2007, 12:44 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WinterStarzz View Post
Not that I enjoy spreading my personal business all around, but I am freaking out here. I am pretty sure my husband is leaving me. So...I'd say it's a major stress.
Oh, Sweetie, I am so sorry this is happening! Do you have a friend you can talk to? Can you go see a friend? It seems like you shouldn't be alone right now. Please remember to breathe!
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Old 09-23-2007, 12:48 PM   #11
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I wish I could ask him point blank.

He left Friday afternoon. I talked to him Saturday at about 3pm. I heard 3 stories in the same conversation.

1) He left and went to his mom's because he needed some time with his family.
2) He needed a break, a breather.
3) He is leaving me.

He said he was going to call last night, and he never did. So now not only am I freaking out about him saying he is going to leave me, I am scared something bad happened.

Possibly the worst part of this is that there was no reason. We had a huge argument about a month and a half ago, and figured out we need to work on a few things. So we did. And since then, our relationship has been better than it has ever been. Tuesday he was telling me all those perfect-husband things...he loves me so much, I am the love of his life, he is so glad we worked things out, I mean everything to him, etc. And then all the sudden on Friday he said he has been "thinking about leaving me" and that "I just don't make him happy anymore." Completely out of the blue. We have had no arguments or anything.

At least if he had dome something bad, or I had done something bad, I would have a reason, I could be mad. But there is no reason. All I can think is that he has been hating his job lately, and when he comes home he has been stressed out. Maybe he just isn't differentiating between the job causing the unhappiness at home, and the being unhappy at home. I don't know. I try to be rational, but it's hard.

He tells me he wants to leave me, that we are through. And I cry, because I am me, and I am emotional, and who wouldn't be upset by that news out of the blue? And then he says he is going to come home because he'd rather be miserable with me than hurt me. And I tell him I don't want him to be miserable, but I don't think our relationship is the cause of misery...considering we are doing better than ever. I say I want him to come home because he loves me, because he wants to. He says there is no denying that he loves me, and he will come home because of that. And I tell him not to lie to me, to tell me the truth. He says he doesn't want to come home.

And the cycle repeats.

I am confused. I am devastated. I am breaking.

Sorry, I am rambling. I just don't know what else to do.

He didn't call. When I tried calling him, it rang the first time, and then he must have shut his phone off because it just goes to voice mail.

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Old 09-23-2007, 12:48 PM   #12
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Yeah, I'd call that MAJOR stress. I'm so sorry to hear of this. It sounds like you can really use a good friend right now. Someone to speak with and grab a hug from.

I agree though. I think you are best off confronting him, this way you at least know where you stand. Then you can formulate a plan. I wish you all the best.
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Old 09-23-2007, 01:45 PM   #13
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I'm so sorry you're going through this. I agree that you need someone to talk with. If you don't have any friends available this weekend, would you feel comfortable talking with a pastor or a priest at a local church? Some employers have an Employee Assistance Program with counselors on hand to talk with you. Just look for something like EAP on the back of an insurance card. If you can make yourself go for walks, exercise releases "feel good" chemicals in our bodies which might help you quite a bit right now. Are you a praying person? Ask God for peace to get through this. I've said a prayer for you as well. Please let us know how you're doing.
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Old 09-23-2007, 02:01 PM   #14
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I see that we posted at the same exact time, therefore I didn't see the details that you posted.

I really hope that you can find someone to speak with. This is a lot to deal with. Somehow you will find the strength to get through this.
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Old 09-23-2007, 02:44 PM   #15
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Wow, I am so very sorry to hear what you're going through. I can't even imagine what I would do. Initially, I was going to advise exercise as a stress reliever, but after reading through the post, I just don't know how to relieve that kind of stress. Being uncertain about a thing like that is...horrible. Take care of yourself, and I'll be thinking about you.

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