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Old 09-14-2007, 09:44 AM   #1
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Default Bad Husband, Very Bad!!

I love Krispy Kreme bavarian cream filled donuts.

Guess what my hubby came home with on Wed!!! He brought 1 doezen of those wonderful, delicious, sweet little donughts completely stuffed with the melt on the tip of your tongue bavarian cream.

Heres the kicker-He got home before I did and left the evil donuts on the stove where I would see them when I got home. I was already stressed out from spending 2 hours at the grocery store trying to healthy shop and I get home and see all those donuts. I really debated for about 30 minutes before I decided 1 wouldnt hurt and I had been to the gym three times already this week and lost 3 lbs so it would be ok to reward myself. Boy was I wrong.

2 days, 5 donuts, and 3 candy bars later- Im up 2lbs and mad at myself for giving in like that. Yesterday I didnt even think about one until he came home and said Oh I have donuts. I felt my mouth juicing up going mmmmmmmmm donuts! I took one and he told me he didnt want to hear anything about me gaining weight, I told him he sure was going to hear it b/c he shouldnt have brought them home!!
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Old 09-14-2007, 09:50 AM   #2
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Is DH thin by any chance? i noticed thin people mock others when they try to lose weight. my Ex GF used to do it all the time the current one does too. because they have seen my try and then give up before they assume im going to now and when it looks like i'm going well they get worried that they might be wrong and do anything to derail me.

do you do all the cooking? if so be mean back? throw out all his fav stuff pour his beer down the sink (always gets the back up) and serve him up what you have to eat all day every day, and if he moans about it just say that he was really outta order for tempting you and not being supportive so now because he loves you he's going to do it with you!
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Old 09-14-2007, 09:57 AM   #3
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Why would he have done that to you? Sure, it was you who actually took a donut and ate it, but your comments sounds like he did it specifically to taunt you. Has he been jealous of your success? I think sometimes when you are making positive changes in your life partners fear that they will get left behind. Then they sabotage the efforts you are making to try and keep things the same. Maybe it's time for a heart-to-heart with hubby to tell him how you feel and assure him that you are doing this to make yourself healthy and happy and this was just so unsupportive.
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Old 09-14-2007, 10:14 AM   #4
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I would have been livid! That is completely uncalled for and inexcusable in my book. Make him buy you some expensive bling and do dishes for a month, then maybe you can begin to forgive him.
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Old 09-14-2007, 10:33 AM   #5
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I would have picked them up and put them in the garbage disposal and gotten rid of them immediately and told him just what I had done when he came home. You are in charge of what you eat, not him. You have to learn to live in a world of unhealthy foods and make wise choices.

HW 356 pounds - CW 135 - GW 137

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Old 09-14-2007, 10:45 AM   #6
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Hmmm....not a great way to keep the love of his life happy. Naughty boy!

My husband is in pretty good shape and with exercise he can eat what he wants. That being said, he knows I am trying to lose weight and be healthy, so he doesn't bring things into the house to eat in front of me. Last night he called me and said he wanted pizza and could I have some of that for dinner. I said that would be fine, but could we get a SMALL instead of our usual LARGE and add a garden salad? SURE! He showed up with just that and he had his craving satisfied and I was able to have my pizza fix and stay OP.

Our SUs shouldn't *have* to give up things they like because we are trying to get healthy, but they sure shouldn't be bringing stuff into the house to "set us up" for a binge. Why on earth couldn't he buy ONE donut for himself? That is what my DH does...he brings home his cuppa and a treat. Which is fine by me. He doesn't feel deprived and I am not tempted.

Sounds like he needs to have a sit down heart to heart. Surely a compromise can be reached. Good Luck!
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Old 09-14-2007, 10:52 AM   #7
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I can sympathize with you . My husband brings home chips, Krispe kremes, soda, ect.. In the past when I have dieted, I have given into temptation and ate and ate, no more. I usually toss the leftover stuff he leaves around the house. If he doesn't like it to bad, this food is bad for me, and I am not going to allow him to sabatoge me. I am sorry your husband did this, but I know you can have a better day . cheryl

When I am at 196 lbs I will no longer have a BMI of an obese women.
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Old 09-14-2007, 11:14 AM   #8
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Is your husband a Richard in other ways or just this one? Because his actions are totally unacceptable. There seem to be so many husbands around that act this way and while there are a lot of psycho-babble explanations for it, I think it's very possible they are just jerks.

That being said, there are always going to be challenges and I'd have saved one donut for him and thrown the rest away. And I wouldn't have felt the least bit apologetic or guilty about it.

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Old 09-14-2007, 11:56 AM   #9
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Cara, I know just how you feel.
I have told my DH that if he brings that kind of stuff into the house (I am especially vulnerable to Cap'n Crunch) that I will flush any and all junk down the toilet. The toilet, so I can't be tempted to go back to the trash! After two flushing incidents, the junk purchases have stopped. He hated the thought of money being spent on food that was flushed away and he couldn't believe I had really done it. I have told him if he must have junk food that he can keep it in the trunk of his car (he has a perfect BMI). Good luck.
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Old 09-14-2007, 12:20 PM   #10
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Is your husband a Richard in other ways or just this one?
Robin, this made me giggle.
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Old 09-14-2007, 12:40 PM   #11
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I'm usually a little overly generous in assuming others motives are not deliberately destructive. So much of what we learn from our families and our culture, and so ingrained we often don't even realize it, tells us that food is the way to celebrate, show love, and comfort each other. A few heart-to-hearts often still doesn't sink through, as the offender is likely to keep thinking "just this once won't hurt," or "she's done so well, surely she can have...." yadayadayada

However, a DOZEN? OMG! Of course, the biggest problem here is that he isn't likely to admit (at least out loud, or probably even to himself) that he was out to sabotage your efforts, so you may see more of this in one way or another, so you've got to be prepared until he gets over his insecurity, or you've drilled it through his head that he is not to do this.
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Old 09-14-2007, 01:03 PM   #12
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I'll probably get shouted down for saying this, but I'll say it anyway: it takes two to tango. Sure, maybe our DH/SOs could be more sensitive about bringing junk food into the house. But WE have control over what we eat, no one else.

It's next to impossible to isolate ourselves completely from temptation. If it's not DH bringing home doughnuts, it'll be something else: birthday cakes for co-workers, or croissants at morning meetings, or friends who order pizza, or picnics at your kid's school, or what-have-you. That's just life. But the strength to resist temptations is within all of us. Find it, exercise it, nurture it.

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Old 09-14-2007, 01:15 PM   #13
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I do completely agree, but one would hope to encourage those closest to us to be more considerate. Expecting a non-dieting spouse to never bring home a treat for himself is one thing, but to expect him not to bring home a dozen of our personal favorites, is another.

It doesn't make him responsible for her eating them, but it is something that should be actively discouraged.
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Old 09-14-2007, 01:15 PM   #14
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Right on, Kaw! Nobody pries our mouths open and shoves it in. We do it to ourselves.
Change isnít easy. But if you donít change, you stay the same, and whereís the fun in that?
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Old 09-14-2007, 01:20 PM   #15
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DH agreed to cut back considerably on the junk food in our house, though he still has the occasional treats, but usually just buys one and eats it quickly.
I agree it's not their responsibility, it's ours, but a little help in the junk food department is always nice

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