I could have written your post. Please know you are not alone. I have over 100 lbs to lose and want it now! It is depressing to think you have that long to go, but hey, all we have is time. And we have to start somewhere, right? So know you aren't alone....
My two cents on this topic: Sure, I wish I had started this before I was 30. Heck, I wish I had never been overweight. But I also look at this way - who I am, and have been has shaped what I am today. And I'm not talking body shape. I mean who I am, inside. I know people who've been thin all their lives who've never experienced being made fun of...they don't know the hurt it causes, so they think it's ok to tease or make fun of people who are different. I know how it feels, so I make it a point not to be ugly like that. I know what it feels like to be the one who needs coaxing out of a shy shell, so I try to do the coaxing now when I see someone else like I was. I know what it's like to be the "odd" one in the room, since I was usually the heaviest. So now I seek others out who may look uncomfortable and do my best to help them feel welcome. I'm not always successful. But I try. And I really believe that my character and all the things I do are molded by who I am, where I have been in my life, and the experiences, all of them, good to horrible, I've been through. Going through this change to my lifestyle is just going to add to that character, I hope. So yes, I have my what if moments, we all do. But I try not to focus on them. Instead, look to the future and what it has to offer.
Oh, Lalique, you are so awesome already, at 21. And not in spite of what you've experienced, either. BECAUSE of it. Look around you. I bet you'll notice, as I have, that the people who have never been through anything hard, are almost always shallow and BORING. They lack the wisdom that only comes from surviving. Against all odds, sometimes.
The Pretty People usually lack compassion, and empathy, and a sense of proportion. They're the ones who sneer at people they judge to be not as good as they are, not as pretty, not as smart, not as virtuous. When the truth is, they have never been tested in any way. They are weak, because they've never had to develop any muscles.
For the most part, humans are as lazy as life allows us to be. We don't learn anything we aren't forced to learn, and we don't do anything we are not forced to do. I think that's got something to do with why we're at the top of the food chain: we're efficient!
In the process of overcoming this trial, the weight trial, you are learning that there isn't anything you cannot do, anyplace you cannot go. You are learning through experience that you are strong, and need not fear people, places, or things. You can't buy that, for any amount of money. So Go Lalique, Rah!
Location: Down in the dumps..but working my way out!
Posts: 907
Lalique
Please don't be discouraged. Look at your avatar..you're making progress toward your goal. Please don't beat yourself up over what's past, or get down on yourself because the pounds aren't coming off so easy. You've got a wonderful, exciting future ahead of you...GO FOR IT!
Just wanted to pipe up to say - you are not alone. I beat myself up constantly for all the things I should have done "by now." and you know what I'm learning? It doesn't change a damn thing! All you can do is start each day over and do your best to make the most of your days and of your life.
There are a lot of things I regret not doing - losing weight, staying single longer, going to college - and I have a hard time because I keep thinking I am TOO OLD to do it and I'm still in my 20's! Just gotta keep plugging away at things and seize all opportunities no matter what size you are and how you feel about it.
I really highly suggest Geneen Roth's books....basically, they are about not waiting until you lose weight to do stuff. Maintaining weight takes a lot of effort too after all, but it's not anybody's occupation, just like dieting isn't!
She says, a lot of people have an image of a "different me" when they lose weight and in they're deepest self, they feel "taken over" by the ideal stranger.
I WISH I HAD READ THESE THINGS WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE!!
Can you believe...I had job interviews I didn't go to because I was too fat...AT 130 POUNDS!
You've gotten lots of great advice already. I remember being your age and thinking how a year seems like such an incredibly long time. Many, many times I thought the same things you are thinking; that it would take me so long to lose weight. I just couldn't imagine spending that length of time trying to lose weight. Fast forward 15 years and 150+ lbs, and I finally figured out that time would pass whether I was trying to lose weight or whether I was gaining weight. So, why not spend that time trying to lose weight. My mantra when I was first trying to stay motivated to lose weight, was "I don't want to weigh the same thing a year from now". That was what encouraged me to keep working at it, particularly in the early months.
Something else to consider is that you start seeing benefits of weight loss long before you hit goal. So it won't actually take that full year before people start noticing you have lost weight, before you start fitting in smaller clothes, before you start having more energy, etc, etc. Those things will start happening within 20 -25 pounds. And it will just get better as you get closer to goal.
Like the others, I'm proud that you have figured this out at 21 and are giving it your best efforts. I wish I had done that. Not so much for what I missed out on at that age, but for what I missed out on doing when my children were younger. I do regret being so heavy that I missed doing things with them when they were little.
Good luck and keep posting. This board is full of great advice.
I turned 45 this past April and I have to agree with some others that I wouldn't go back to my younger days for anything. I believe that I lost the weight at the EXACT time that I had to. I wouldn't have been ready for it earlier. I know I have had some hard times in my life because of my weight, and there have been a few tears shed and a few 'choice' words voiced, but I believe that I am a better person for the things I have gone through.
It took me 2 years and 2 months to lose my weight and I could not believe it when I actually realised that I was close to goal. That time had totally just FLOWN by! I still have a few pounds to lose, but friends, colleagues and my doctor don't think I should lose any more, so I am sitting here and enjoying myself at the moment.
It has been a year and a half since I lost the weight and my life has simply blossomed in that time. I have been in a national weight-loss competition and had a makeover and photo shoot for the magazine, I have been in another magazine, on the news, on three current affairs shows and two talk-back radio shows. I teach in an elementary school and I have taken on a new IT role, I am teaching a year level that I have never tried before, I have been on stage to give out awards (something I NEVER would have done before) and next week I am going on stage to lead the school song and the National Anthem. I joined a Literacy Educator's committee and helped to organise and run a state conference earlier this year, presenting speakers to a fairly large audience. In the last few weeks I have also joined a choir and am SO excited about developing my life in this area. This group are the Australian champions and will be going to Hawaii for the world championships next year and I would LOVE to go with them. I would NEVER have even contemplated this when I was larger. Today hubby and I bought a keyboard (for basic skills and to use at school) and have a larger keyboard (piano size, with LOTS of functions) arriving next week. I am going to learn the piano so I can sing along and learn my harmony parts for the choir. Hubby also plays and I would love to sing along while he plays. There is just SO much I want to do now.
I truly believe that my life has turned around, health-wise, relationship-wise (I feel as though I am a better wife now, more positive and outgoing), work-wise and socially. I couldn't ask for more.
It is NEVER too late to do this. I wish I had been more confident when I was over 350lbs, but it is a simple fact that I wasn't. That is OK. I still had a wonderful life, with many friends and loved ones, and I am well and truly making up for any shortcomings now!
Good luck with your future, but please don't waste any more of your 'present' regretting your past.
I have said very similar things over the years. At 25, at 30, and at my current 35. Yes, there are physical limitations of being obese, but there are many, many emotional and mental limitations we pick up as well. Logically, I know that those are things I don't have to be thin to change. Easier said than done, I'm afraid, but nonetheless true.
One thing to consider is that your post implies that you have to wait until you reach goal to feel better about yourself. The wonderful thing I have found is that I felt different very quickly. I have a long way until goal, but I already feel more confident, healthier, and overall, better about myself. So stop worrying about what you haven't done and start living. Start really focusing on your plan and in no time you'll be feeling much better!
I know EXACTLY how you feel..Even with what I have already lost...Some days it seems IMPOSSIBLE to EVER reach my goal...I feel like I am doomed to be fat..It is somehow my destiny and I cannot escape it.
But then somedays, I have that hope..the inspiration that I CAN do this, and I CAN have the body I WANT...But I have to love the body I have now first. It's so hard sometimes. You can't say your life is wasted because of your weight. There is so much more to life than a stupid number on a stupid scale. You have learned so much, and you should use that knowledge to help you now.
We can do this chickie pie! I know it's hard..I am having one of those days where I just want to call it quits. But I will wake up tomorrow, eat right, and do it all again the next day too. And somedays, I will wake up, slip up on my plan..but so what. It's one DAY of the REST of your life! We can make it!
Lalique
