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Motivation- How to get started

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Old 08-27-2007, 10:12 AM   #1
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Unhappy Motivation- How to get started

OK that may not be the best title.
I KNOW all the things I have to do to lose weight. More calories out than in. Exercise, watch what I eat.. I know all the right things to do so WHY am I not doing it. I am tired of being fat. I have gained over 100 pounds in 4 years.
My husband loves me unconditionally and maybe by gaining weight I am/was testing that.

I guess what I am asking is what was the final straw that made you say THAT'S IT??
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Old 08-27-2007, 10:18 AM   #2
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I guess what I am asking is what was the final straw that made you say THAT'S IT??
^^ When the challenge of buckling down to start losing the weight actually seemed easier to deal with than being unhappy and thinking that eating/food would make everything ok. Don't get me wrong - tis not easy whatsoever and still a long way from goal but to be at the point where I go to the shop and don't think 'how much chocolate can I buy and stash without others knowing' is better than anything!

It seems so much doesn't it - to say that you have x amount to lose/over 100lbs etc... I mean surely that's not possible. I haven't got there yet but I damn sure will do - and surprisingly - it IS possible; and so worth it (so far)

Cliche'd as it is but just take one day at a time. Before you know it a week will have passed, then a month and it'll start to feel worth it. Not only the weight loss but (personally) the sleeping better, feeling happier, more content even

Mostly - good luck
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Old 08-27-2007, 10:52 AM   #3
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Hi, and welcome!!
I don't know if I have the answer for motivation, because I have tried to lose weight various times, have lost 10, 20 lbs, stopped and ended up gaining it back plus more.
I think a few things broke the camel's back for me.
1. a size 26 was getting tight/
2. my health was getting horrible:high blood pressure, I couldn't walk, my feet were swollen, my back hurt, I was tired all the time.
3. I hated myself, I really did. I hated wearing fat clothes, I hated my body, I hated everything about myself, but refused to take this hate and make it better.
4. My daughter would come home sad, because classmates would call me fat.

There are probably more reasons, I can't think of them right now, but I can tell you everyday I still struggle, with eating right and exercising, but I don't want to go back to a size 26 ever. With loosing 47 lbs I feel so much better, I have energy, I love to walk, and I love life. So I think these are my motivations for doing this.
I hope you find yours. Good luck.
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Old 08-27-2007, 11:01 AM   #4
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Can't wait for a healthy, tasty, calorie-counted dinner to fall from the heavens onto your plate. Put the desire into some action. Menu plan for an entire week - every meal (breakfast lunch dinner snacks). Look up recipes - the internet puts literally thousands of healthy recipes at your fingertips.

Think about when you eat. Are you an afternoon/bored/restless snacker? Make a plan. Do you like to nibble while you watch TV? Make a plan.

Look at the upcoming week - is there anything you need to plan ahead for? Birthday party, dinner out. Plan in advance how you will handle it - can you look up a restaurant's menu online and make a healthy choice in advance? If you go to a friend's house for dinner, can you volunteer to bring a big beautiful green salad to fill your plate?

Completely dejunk your house. If you live with people, sit them down and explain seriously this is something you have to do and you really need their support, at least initially.

Make a shopping list for everything you need for your week of healthy eating. Go to the store, buy only what's on the list. Do as much as possible in advance. Cut up veggies, bag them for snack. Rinse fruit. Pack lunches. Make a big pot of soup or pasta sauce so dinners are a snap.

After one week of staying on plan, reward yourself - pedicure, new fall scarf, pretty container plants for the porch. Repeat for the following week.

Consider taking some very candid before pictures (front/side). I don't think these are particularly motivating AT FIRST but they can be a fantastic resource months into your weight loss when it might be tough to stick to. Definitely do your measurements, knowing where you started is so powerful when the inches start melting away.

Wanting to lose weight isn't enough, I wanted to be thin every day for 20 years. It wasn't until I made planning a huge focus that I was able to be successful. I focused on things I *COULD* do and it really helped!
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Old 08-27-2007, 11:22 AM   #5
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1.) seeing other girls my age (early 20s) with kickin' bodies and being irritated that I didn't have the same
2.) wanting to finally feel like a woman who is confident and not always puffing my shirt out to hide my belly
3.) finally sticking to something and being DETERMINED TO FINISH
4.) being told by family that I'm "getting too thin" YESSS!
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Old 08-27-2007, 11:24 AM   #6
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All of these posts are great, and Glory's step-by-step instructions were particularly good. Only one thing I want to add. If your experience is similar to mine, you don't have to wait until you've lost ten, twenty, or thirty pounds to start seeing benefits. Within a week, I was feeling better both physically and mentally. And after the first week, the second week is easier. Don't wait for that time of complete motivation. Just follow the steps that Glory outlined and see how much better you feel.
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Old 08-27-2007, 12:06 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mmacaskill View Post

I guess what I am asking is what was the final straw that made you say THAT'S IT??
- Barely squeezing into the largest sizes at the plus-sized stores.
-Having knees that constantly hurt
-Being horribly, horribly inactive
-Fear. I was so very fearful. All kinds of fears, health wise first and foremost. I felt like I was a disaster waiting to happen - heart disease, certain cancers, diabetes. Not being around for my kids and my as of yet unborn grandkids.
-I suppose mostly I just got sick and tired of not living life to it's fullest, not even close. I was settling for second best, which is such a shame. My quality of life was horrendous. I couldn't go on the way I was any more. And luckily I didn't have to. There was a way out.

It IS possible to lose a large sum of weight. You just have to want to badly ENOUGH. Make the DECISION to do it. Make the commitment. Any thing that you think you may be giving up, is nothing, absolutely nothing in comparison to what you get back.

And I agree with Glory 1000%. Make a plan. Plan, plan and then plan some more. I can't say it enough. Set yourself up for success.
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Old 08-27-2007, 12:30 PM   #8
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Final straw was possibly having gallstones. (Turns out I didn't have them after all!)

It clicked a switch from "I can't ever lose weight" to "Even if I can't lose weight, I can eat healthily."

I threw away my "hunger guilt." I realized I'd always felt guilty when I got hungry a few hours after my last meal—if I'd eaten something healthy, and stopped when I was satisfied.

It's easy to feel guilty about it when you are already fat, spending the day with someone, eat a healthy meal with them, and 2 hours later, still with them, you feel hungry and either they don't, or you voice your hunger and they go, "ALREADY?"

The guilt led to feelings of "I'm not normal," and because I couldn't seem to keep satiated on a 3-meal-a-day schedule, but I tried to, to be "normal" you know, I wound up craving, and bingeing on, calorie-dense foods.

So anyway, I decided not to be guilty over being HUNGRY anymore, ever again. Screw anyone's judgements—I would eat healthy foods to satiation, and if I had to do that every few hours, I would. (It worked.) Now my family and friends just chuckle when I get almonds or dried apricots out of my purse when it's my "snacktime."

Oops. This digressed. Sorry.
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Old 08-27-2007, 01:04 PM   #9
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Like Robin, the largest size was often too small to squeeze into. Not all styles, but many. Certainly anything I actually liked! Only buying clothes from Omar the Tentmaker was getting depressing. And I was trapped in my body. I could not live the life I want. I always wanted to be thin. "Enough" was never really enough to allow me to succeed. I had to remove the barriers to success. Self-doubt was the first. No matter how discouraged I felt, I had to start. That was not a case of having "had enough." that was purely an act of will.

1. First, I had to realize that despite a lifetime of self-education and trying hard, everything I thought I knew about dieting was WRONG. I had to come here and be humble enough to be teachable, try doing things people suggested even if it sounded ridiculous. After all, MY best ideas got me here, at 274 lbs, so obviously my very best ideas weren't very darned good.

2. Like Glory said, I had to de-junk the house. In 57 years, I had never done that before. That's the day I got an inkliing of what COMMITMENT means, and how it feels. Willing to go to any lengths.

3. I had to give up the all-or-nothing mentality. Well, I ate the [fill_in_gthe_blank], now I've blown it, I might as well eat everything in the house (first, there wasn't anything in the house, so it gave me time to think before making that choice, and second, people kept saying "just go right back on plan, it's noo big deal as long as you don't use it as an excuse to eat the world"). If you binge, log in here and whine before you go get more binge food. It can stop you in your tracks, and get you immediately back on plan. It's never the first bite that puts the weight back on. It's all the bites after that. So don't take them, come here instead.

4. I had to really wrap my mind around the concept that this is NOT a diet, it's a lifestyle change. Forever. That means I had to find a plan I could live with. Something that felt natural and satisfying, rather than like a life sentence of misery and deprivation! For me, personally, that seems to be Atkins. If Atkins ever starts to feel like punishment, I will hunt for something else. Seems unlikely, so far, and it's been 3-1/2 months. I have NEVER been this satisfied on a food plan for longer then 2-e weeks. So if you haven't found "you"r plan, keep looking. Every one of us is too darned smart to be willing to live in a too-small cage forever. And it needs to be forever-able.

5. Exercise. Sneak up on it slowly if necessary. I joined a ratty, cheap little storefront gym, and got to know the staff and the regulars. Now I feel at home there. I'm the token fat chick, and all those buff guys (well, OK, both of them) watch to see how I'm doing and if I need encouragement. The regulars WANT me to succeed. They're my second-biggest cheering section, the first being 3FC.

6. I log on every day. Every day. This is where I go for support, and to remind myself why I'm doing this. I get special reinforcement from other people's NSV's (Non-Scale Victories). Go look for that thread. It makes ME feel WONDERFUL about what I'm doing. And when you notice a little victory, no matter how tiny, post it for the rest of us! These things are important. Things like being able to tie my shoelaces without gasping for breat in between feet.

7. This is trite, but Just Do It. It doesn't matter how I feel. It only matters what I DO. Cliches get to BE cliches for a host of very good reasons: they're true, they're universal, and they're inescapable, kinda like gravity. Unlike gravity, however, they can be my friends. Gravity has never been my friend, and less so as the years progress!

8. Latch on tightly to these gals and guys. They're the smartest, wisest, most dedicated, and most experienced women andmen you are ever going to have access to for free. And proably even not for free -- they have no profit motive, and they'll tell you exactly how it was and is for them. You never have to do this alone again.

9. I had to realize to the marrow of my bones that my success does not depend upon anything outside myself. No circumstances can prevent me from succeeding. People, places, and things are irrelevant. Only my commitment matters.

Welcome to our little universe, I hope you like us enough to stick around and see how the winners are doing it, and let them help you do it too. Everyone here really, really WANTS you to succeed.
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Old 08-27-2007, 02:22 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mmacaskill View Post
I guess what I am asking is what was the final straw that made you say THAT'S IT??
My knees hurt, size 26 jeans and 3x shirts were getting too small...and, I couldnt keep up with my family on a trip to Disneyworld. I decided that enough was enough! I didnt like my life or myself much and only I could change things. My journey is slow and somewhat rocky, but I'm getting there. I now wear a size 24 jeans, a 2x shirt and I can keep up with my family only when I'm working out everyday....two out of three ain't bad.
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Old 08-27-2007, 02:34 PM   #11
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Hi. My last straw was when I was on vacation a few weeks ago. Me my husband and my 12 and 6 year old daughters. We went to williamsburg.
The first thing was my feet hurt so bad from walking around busch gardens that I had to take a day off. (i thought to myself, who has to take a break from vacation....then I thought me.....Because I have an extra 100 pounds I had to take a break.)

the next was pictures. when i got home and saw the few pictures that I actually let my daughters take of me. I thought, OMG.... why didnt any of my friends and family tell me that I had gotten that big. I was huge.

And the last was my health. I have a herniated disk that I had operated on last August and I hurt my back again and the dr told me that my back is never going to be 100% unless I lose weight. With having the herniated disk and then the surgery and a pinched nerve, it is never going to be as strong and it cant take the extra 100 pounds that I am carrying around.

And the main reason is I am SO tired of watching everyone live my life. and when I say live my life... I mean the life that I want. I see people laughing and having fun and traveling and confidence and success. Just happiness. I want that. I am so tired of living life as a spectator. I dont want to sit on the sidelines. I want to join the game. I am tired of looking and being afraid of looking stupid. or feel like I have everyone looking at me because I am so big.
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Old 08-27-2007, 02:39 PM   #12
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I've been saying this is it for along time. The problem was when it came to down to making the right choices I said tomorrow... And allowed myself to make poor choices.

Now I write my plan out precisely (not the foods I'm going to eat but what I'm going to do and what I'm not going to do...I don't like being so limited by an exact food plan) my plan and my goals. So for this week I plan on drinking a protein shake everyday for lunch. I plan on drinking 3 liters of water everyday. I plan on eating a sensible dinner. I plan on avoiding sugary foods (coke, juice, chocolate, cake, etc). I plan on going to the gym everyday. I plan on staying on plan!!! I make that clear.

Then I also make reasons for this. My reasons is because I want to weigh in at 263 next weigh in. I write a motivational sentence. I wrote "Good health starts now. Tomorrow is too late."

Because I carry this with me all the time I can always review it. I review it before heading out to the gym at the start of my day. I read it on the way back to the gym or before the grocery store. I have to constantly remind myself otherwise I'm going to make allowances for myself. One allowance leads to another...

So that's what I do.
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Old 08-27-2007, 03:10 PM   #13
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"When the pain of being fat finally out-weighs the pleasure of eating, that's when motivation translates to action."

I was sick and tired of being fat, sick and tired.


And for me, it had to be an "all or nothing" mentality. I had to commit myself completely to doing this or it would not have worked for me. If the junk was in this house, believe me, I would've found it and eaten it.
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Old 08-27-2007, 04:09 PM   #14
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Oh there have been lots of final straws. I think this time the final straw came when I came home at the end of June from the most amazing vacation with my Sweetie, where we had a sort of private ceremony declaring our commitment to each other. Sort of like a wedding ceremony without the paperwork and cake. He has been an answer to my deepest prayers and is the most amazing man I've ever been blessed to know and love.

Because we were an online relationship for 10 months, I lied to him and told him that I was losing more weight than I had. He bought me so many beautiful clothes, including two leather coats. When we moved into together and those clothes didn't fit, he was hurt that I lied, but understood the fear behind the lie. He took me out and bought me beautiful clothes that did fit.

For the last 16 months I have played at losing weight. Going on and off again and again. I have done good things like develop a real habit for exercise and learned to cook truly delicious and healthy meals. It has taken this long to really retrain my mind, which is an ongoing process, exactly how to lose this weight in the way that can be a real lifestyle change.

Plus, I was very sick of my knees hurting! Not able to shop for clothes unless they have a couple of X's in the tag. Being turned down for health insurance. Not being able to wear high-heels for fear of breaking an ankle.

Then there is my college diploma that I'll get next year. At that time I reenter the workplace as a 42-year old. I need to look and feel my best so I can advance in the career I want. That is NOT going to happen at this weight!
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Old 08-27-2007, 04:22 PM   #15
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Final Straws:

I had a closet full of clothes and only 3 shirts and 1 pair of pants fit anymore, and those were getting tight and the shirts were getting really worn. Finally, one got a tear from too much washing. I panicked.

My feet hurt so much I could hardly walk when I got up in the morning.

I was having trouble getting up off my couch.

I was waking up multiple times a night out of breath and gasping (sleep apnea probably, but I never got diagnosed and it's gone now).

My heart would pound and I would sweat after walking from my car into the grocery store.

On my last several plane trips, I couldn't buckle my seatbelt and I was too embarrassed to ask for an extender. My life had become that worthless to me. (Update, my last flight it fit with no extender!)

I realized I was only 35 and my life sucked and it was never going to get better unless I did something about it.

I went with a friend to by a nylon camping folding chair and was horrified to see that I weighed 65 pounds MORE than the chair's weight limit. My friend kept saying, what's wrong with it? Why don't you get it? I don't think they realized how much I weighed. And I couldn't bring myself to tell them.

I hated myself and who I had become.

I was so very, very tired of constantly having to think about my weight.
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