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New and down and out!:(

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Old 11-20-2001, 11:43 PM   #1
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Default New and down and out!:(

Hi! Just wanted to introduce myself! I am a 29 year old wife and stay at home mother to two daughters. They are 3 and 2 years old! My highest weight was 290, my current weight is 280 (not much of a weight loss) and I would like my goal weight to be at least 165 for the time being! My husband has been absolutely wonderful with me considering that in the past 12 1/2 years of being together I have considerably gained 140 pounds (I know pretty unbelieveable right)! Well now it's come to a head and he is ready to walk and leave. He is frustrated with the fact that I no longer take care of myself or my body. I am on my way to having high blood pressure, diabetes, and I already have high chlorestorl! Anyway I just need support. I don't even know where to begin to think of losing this weight!
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Old 11-21-2001, 01:36 AM   #2
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Hi 2ff2l

Just wanted to say hi and welcome! You have come to a great place for support and understanding. This is a great group of people!!

The 10 pounds is a great start!! You can do this!! Take each day ~ one day at a time. Come here often ~ it has been a great help to me being able to share with and talk to people who understand this journey for better health that we are on.

Glad you are here!

Take care ~ glynne
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Old 11-21-2001, 04:48 PM   #3
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Default Hello!

I spotted your post and my heart goes out to your for your plight! I have a daughter about your age so I'm going to talk to you like I'd talk to her. First of all, I wonder if, cause you're overweight, you aren't keeping yourself pretty for hubby! You must still try to look nice for him while you lose weight! Perfume and a little make up does wonders for our female attitude. Buy yourself a few things that you can look nice in while you lose the weight and keep up on the good grooming.

There is tons of information on these boards to help you diet and exercise. I don't usually post on this one. Am usually on the Low Carb or 10 pounds At A Time one, where, by the way, my daughter Zookeeper posts.

Take it one day at a time and don't give up. God bless!
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Old 11-22-2001, 04:47 AM   #4
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Welcome 2 fat for 2 long

Hi, It isn't unbelievable to me I weighed 200# when I got married and topped the scale @ 280+. My husband and I rarely had sex any more. And frankly it was too much work, I hadn't the energy. A size 26-28, all there are to wear are moomoo's LOL. Not very attractive. But really it was my attitude that was the worst turn off. I didn't want to go anywhrere, I would avoid talking to people I knew because of the weight I had gained. ANd you know until I decided that I was worth the time and energy to lose weight, it didnt happen. Because it takes alot of time and energy and I had never made myself a priority before. I was at risk and had physical problems as a result of my weights( I am 38) it didn't matter until I decided it mattered.

So, You need to work on your weight because you love yourself, not because DH wants you too. This will take time and comitment on your part. And you've got to decide you are a beautiful desireable woman whatever your weight. Hold your head up, satnd tall, look good and start on your journey!! You can do it!!
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Old 11-24-2001, 06:41 PM   #5
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Welcome!
I can believe what you said because my story is similar to yours. I gained 113 pounds in 10 years of marriage!! I really think now it was because we had such a bad marriage anyway and food has always been a comfort for me to stuff my feelings. Just this year on January 1st I weighed 313 (I'm 5'9) and wore size 26 jeans. So far I have slowly lost 31.5 pounds. I know it isn't fast but the way I look at it-atleast I haven't gained and weigh more!! I now weigh 281.5 and want to be at 40 pounds by new years. You can do it but it has to be for yourself. Maybe thinking about seeing your kids grow up and being there for them as adults will help inspire you!!
10 pounds is great though. Go pick up a 10 pound bag of potatoes or sugar and imagine carrying it around all day-that much is already gone, and the rest will go away too if you watch those calories. I can eat 2000 calories a day and still lose weight so I am sure you could too! keep posting here that's my best advice. Having to report your weigh in's helps keep you in line and also gives you something to brag about~

God Bless!!
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Old 11-24-2001, 09:08 PM   #6
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Hi and Welcome, I'm a newbie too!

Congratulations on your 10lb loss. You should be very happy about that. I understand you more than ever, about what we go through and how we feel when we've gained so much weight. Its seems to pile up so quickly but then when its time to get it off, it just doesn't go as fast.

I have lost a total of 27lbs and thats just by watching my cal intake (1500) and my fat grams. It worked. I really didn't believe it when I got on the scale the last time and found that I had lost 15 more (last three months). It freaked me out. Now I actually believe that it can be done. Before I thought, oh you can't do this you got to much to lose (153). Well I know I do so thats why I'm getting started now. I don't have diabetes or high blood pressure, but my cholestrol was HIGH.

I think that if we all stick together, help each other out and talk this through we'll win this fight! Its worth it in the end!
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Old 11-25-2001, 07:33 PM   #7
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Smile Chin UP!

I think that is why I'm still single. I never thought anyone would be interested in me at my weight. It took a long time for me to feel better about myself. The lady above is right about fixing yourself up; just because you are heavy, doesn't mean that you can't still look good. When I dress really nice for work, I get tons of compliments; it's amazing, really. Looking good knows no size; feeling good knows no bounds. Stick with us; we will get there together!!!!


Mello1

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308.4/299.4/150
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Old 11-25-2001, 07:52 PM   #8
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{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}
you sure need them. Most everyone needs to come to a point in their lifes to make the big moove. I wish that i could offer a magic pill or a zap of a wand. it is not going to happen. I am so sorry that this has come to your life. When i started my journey in honest i was under similar situations. I was not being told in the same terms but i found DH was spending time on the unmentionable sites, and nothing my way. You can imangine the disgust that i was feeling with my self. i almost stopped eating for a few weeks in fact i ate as much food in a week as most do in a meal. that lasted for about 4 weeks. it did so much damage to my metabolism. but any ways I know where you are comming from. i can feel your pain and agony. i started my journey at 235 and size 24 i am now 177 and a size 14. dh still sneaks a peek but i have come to terms with myself now. i am doing this for me not to keep us married. i am doing this for my kids (4) and making sure that they have a mother in their life and not one at the sidelines. I also was heading to the diabeties lane but not any more.

You are about to embark on a long and hard journey, there will be setbacks and stalls, but with the help of us here, and the support from home you will get through. just for kicks take a look at www.onefatman.com that will give you some semblance of what you can achieve with the right support. Fred pops in here every once in a while. he is a great inspiration to us and many others

but just remember to start with small steps, do not look at the big whole weight loss just look at 10 lbs at a time. and you have made your first goal!!! WHOOOOO HOOOOOO you may not see much but have you lifted and catrried a 10 lb bag of flour lately??? go to the store and lift one and carry it around. what a great accomplishmnet. also take monthly picts of you keep the biggest one in the purse (after a few more goals) that is a great reminder of where you have comd from. remember to look in the mirror. start with your face. and look for asmall changes. that will help you see success. do not look at your entire body as you will see the weight loss much less.

but first and foremost do this for you. do this because you do not want to have diabeties, and you want to see the kids grow up with health eating habbits. did you know that 1 out of 5 children are overweight??? did you know that the same diseases that we adults suffer from withbeing overweight the kids are starting to suffer from??? (I have been doing some reasearch,)

A web site that you may want to check out (and look all over it)

i found this to be very interesting. I have not had much time to look at this site (I am a low carber so the eating plan is not off my way of thinking) but if you are not a low carber maybe the way he sets goals may help you too. http://www.mercola.com/forms/diet_goals.htm

good luck and post often OK. and we will be here for you
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Old 11-25-2001, 08:25 PM   #9
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Welcome to the group!! First of all, remember I am a teacher and will hop on my soapbox briefly.

You are a wonderful person. I know this from the tone of your post. To lose 10 pounds means you didn't gain 10 pounds!!!

Now the hard questions. If you lost weight, would your husband be happier or is their a deeper issue?

As to how to lose, lots of good suggestions already given!!

I am working through an Overeaters Anonymous program and abstinence. They maintain that three moderate meals a day and complete abstinence inbetween teaches us to eat better. I am trying this, but am having a little trouble at the end of the school day not picking up a snack. It is a long time between my lunch at 11 and our supper at 6.

You have found a great and supportive group here. Goodness knows they have listened to me whine and complain a number of times, and have always come back with great support. (instead of telling me to shut up).

Off soap box now!!! Remember that you are worth whatever it takes to get healthy. Personally, I am never going to weigh less than about 150 pounds. I am large framed and have some health problems. That weight was prescribed by the dr.
Obviously I have a great distance to go.

Elaine

297/269 I be stuck!!
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Old 11-25-2001, 11:49 PM   #10
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Hi and welcome!!! I agree with everyone who has posted before me. For many that first 10 pounds is the hardest to lose and here you are, you've already lost it without following any real "plans."
There are many many many out there and you just need to find the one that works for you. (I'm about to join WW, cuz I need more structure than what I've currently got).
In the meantime while shopping for your plan, make sure you are exercising. That is one thing you will hear from everyone here regardless of which eating plans followed, without exercise you won't lose as much fat and gain muscle.
Welcome aboard and we're here for you.
Dawnyal
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