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Emotional Train Wreck... Gave my Sister a *.*BLACK EYE*.*

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Old 04-10-2007, 10:39 AM   #1
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Default Emotional Train Wreck... Gave my Sister a *.*BLACK EYE*.*

I have been avoiding posting for a little bit. It’s so ridiculous. I feel out-of-control. My emotions are here, there, and everywhere.

Thank you Slashnl for sending me that PM about my absence. It is what prompted me to post today.

So a basic rundown: My relationship with my sister has hit an all-time low. Last week was terrible. We were supposed to have a fun night together--- go see a sports game ‘cause she got free tickets through work. It turned into seeing maybe seeing 20 mins of the game… her getting drunk off her dumb #$%… embarrassing me in front of my coworkers and boss whom we ran into (only the 2nd time she met them and the 1st time she was rude).. and a drunken walk to find my car in the freezing cold darkness. It was dreadful. Lots of her falling down.. lots of yelling (me at her, her yelling at me, strange men on the street yelling to offer her a way home…) and more I won’t go into. We got to the car and there was more arguing. She said, “why don’t you hit me” and I did. Right hook. She hit me back... We drove back home. She wanted her keys and I hid them (not gonna let her drive drunk).. I left the house for a while and came back to some of my stuff missing and/or broken and she had been picked up by a friend.

What’s sad is I don’t feel bad for giving her a black eye, kinda the opposite actually. It’s just after everything.. all the fighting.. her beatin’ on me and teasing me and so on (she younger by a 1 ½ yrs)… It’s kinda like she’s had it coming for about 20 years and I finally just got fed up with it enough. I know violence is not the answer (I have been in abusive situations before…I know about it) She, of course, doesn't think she deserved it. My whole family has said I must have finally gotten tired of how she treats me.

My sister and I haven’t talked really in the past week. I asked her about us putting in notice and moving out but she won’t really reply. I don’t know. If we did move I would probably quit my second job and move back in with my mom for a few months… or who knows… I am visiting my brother and sister-in-law in New York next month too. I’m not sure what I want to do but the current situation doesn’t seem to be working anymore.

I’m dragging emotionally. I haven’t been taking care of myself physically. God don’t even get me started on the eating.. at least I have been maintaining and not really gaining… but still.

Well, thanks for letting me vent. It’s nice to have friends to do that with.. it is rather lonely at the bottom.

Last edited by Kae : 04-10-2007 at 10:45 AM.
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Old 04-10-2007, 11:10 AM   #2
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Are you and your sister living together? If so it sounds like you might get along better if you don't.Remember we can choose our friends but are stuck with our relatives.Consider this, your sister may need an intervention about her drinking.
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Old 04-10-2007, 11:16 AM   #3
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Yes, we are sharing an apartment currently.
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Old 04-10-2007, 11:18 AM   #4
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I am sooooo glad you are back Kae. You are missed when you are gone. Even if you aren't "on plan", you need to keep posting here. Lots of friends out here who can let you vent on things other than weight and such.

I just hope your situation improves. That is just way too much drama to have in your life along with all the other day to day things we must endure!!
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Old 04-10-2007, 11:21 AM   #5
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Yeah, I don't really think I'd consult her on the decision to move. She needs to know that you will make a decision without her.
It sucks and it's hard, but sometimes the best thing to do is get away from someone for a while. Then you can evaluate clear headed whether or not to let them back into your life.

I've read your other posts. She deserved it. And YOU deserve to be treated better. Sometimes the best way to get out your emotional energy is to work it out through exercise? Will make you feel better about the eating AND maybe get some of those bad feelings out.
Good luck!
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Old 04-10-2007, 11:21 AM   #6
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Welcome back! You were missed! Hope everything works out in your favor in your family situation.
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Old 04-10-2007, 11:25 AM   #7
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[quote=lizziness]Yeah, I don't really think I'd consult her on the decision to move. She needs to know that you will make a decision without her. QUOTE]

***You know it is interesting how you put that. She needs to know I will make a decision without her. I have tried talking to her about moving out but she just said she didn't know what she wanted to do. Maybe I should stop asking her and tell her what I want to do... which as of now feels like I want to put notice in at the apartment and go our separate ways.

Thanks for missing me guys! That's nice.
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Old 04-10-2007, 12:55 PM   #8
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I would seriously consider therapy. It sounds like you have a lot of emotional issues that would benefit from talking to someone outside of all of it. I really enjoyed therapy (although it was hard work) and I think it's made me a better and stronger person.
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Old 04-10-2007, 05:29 PM   #9
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I second Jessica.

Best Wishes, Kae.
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Old 04-10-2007, 05:41 PM   #10
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Kae, I really don't know what to say to you. You've got a tough situation on your hands. My in-laws are extremely difficult, judgemental people, who pick on my DH and my children all the time. I avoid them as much as possible. We just don't need to be around that toxic environment. It's not how I want to live my life. It is so very unfortunate and I wish it were different. I think family is so important. But so is sanity and good feelings. You guys really sound like you would be better off separated from one another. Sad, but true. Glad to see you back. I hope you get some kind of resolution here. You deserve better.
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Old 04-10-2007, 05:55 PM   #11
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Echoing other's opinions here

And especially Jessica's...therapy can turn your life around.
I went into major debt, wracked a credit card with therapy, to save myself during a tough point during our marriage. I am much happier today (for the most part)... and also still married! Still in debt, but it was well worth it, for my own sanity. Boundaries are a GOOD thing!


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Old 04-10-2007, 10:27 PM   #12
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Welcome back Kae - I have definitely missed your posts.

I am so sorry that things went down like that between you and your sister. Although, I must admit that I have been sorely tempted to do the exact same thing to one of my brother's lately. (After this weekend - I wanted to put him in a carboard box and mail him someplace with a foreign zip code.)

I think that separating and getting a respite from her - would do wonders for you.

I agree with the idea of family counseling, even if she would not attend - it would probably help you come up with ways of coping with her - she sounds like a handful to say the very least.

Good luck and just remember - we are here for you!!
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Old 04-11-2007, 11:56 AM   #13
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Therapy... yea, I have thought about it. That is why I started looking for support groups online. I even looked for online therapy and counseling.. but everything is too expensive. I am already in debt and barely paying my bills, I can't add any more expenses.

Thanks though.
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Old 04-11-2007, 12:04 PM   #14
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If you're a church member, your pastor would not charge for counseling....
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Old 04-12-2007, 08:36 AM   #15
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Well, I can't say that I am in favour of physical violence, particularly with family members... but obviously you were pushed to your limits, and it sounds like an unhealthy situation. God knows I get on much better with my siblings when we don't live close to each other, let alone together!! Good luck - and I hope you guys work it out; your sister can be a good friend once you work out the crap.
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