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Very scary feeling

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Old 04-10-2007, 08:48 AM   #1
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Default Very scary feeling

Ok, bear with me because I'm not trying to infer that I'm in trouble...but I'm wondering if I'm the only person who is starting to realize how easy people could fall into an anorexic disorder. Here is what I've been experiencing.

Slowly, an "acceptable" number of calories (in my opinion) keeps dropping...and I start to get this panicky feeling if I'm near...yes, near, or God-forbid, over that number. When I started, 1800 was my high end...now I am almost devastated if I approach 1800. My mindset has now made 1300 a high-end...that is after incrementally stepping down... What is up with that???? So this week I am purposely not going to eat under 1400 calories on ANY day. I've got to get over this feeling that a little lower is a little better. My calorie calculator says that I could eat 1699 and STILL lose 2 lb per week. I'm going to see what happens. If I find that I don't lose any weight then I'll have a reason to adjust a little lower and see what happens...but it will be verified by trial and error....not justified by fear. I think that is what anorexia is....fear of calories...fear of a loss of control....

Thoughts? Am I the only one who has felt this?
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Old 04-10-2007, 08:56 AM   #2
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No, you aren't are the only one. I too have struggled with that, and I think it was this very feeling (just in a different kind of way) that made me start the "I'm frustrated and don't want to be" thread. I think you are doing the right thing (IMHO) to recognize it and then make yourself go up a little to overcome the fear. Fear is tormenting, and that cannot be helpful in this weight loss journey. Here's wishing you success in finding the exactly right nitch and that your fears will be calmed.
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Old 04-10-2007, 08:59 AM   #3
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Ummm, yeah I kinda have felt that way. I mean after not giving a thought as to how many calories I consumed in the old days, I mean not even Einstein could count quite that high, and to now knowing exactly how many I am eating and of course trying to stay within a certain number I can kind of see where some would think there are a little bit of anoerexic tendencies going on. Also how I am now able to stop at just one 1/2 bite of something I really like? That was a bit freaky to me at first, I mean that I could actually stop eating something that I love after tasting just one tiny morsel of it? That was kinda weird for me. My kids have also said it to me, kidding around of course - ma, watch it - you don't want to become anoerexic. But I know that will never, ever be the case. I love food waaaaay too much. I love how I've used food in the past 7 months to get me my weightlosses. I am in control. Just as careful as I am to not go OVER my calorie allotment (although sometimes I fail), I am just as careful to not go UNDER it. This really is about health for me. My health is my first priority. I know that I need x amount of calories to get the proper nutrients and fuel for my body. I know that you can be just as unhealthy and say 90 lbs as you could be at 287 lbs. I did not get into this for vanity reasons, although I will admit they have unexpectedly come into play, but I will never lose my sights on the big picture - my health.
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Old 04-10-2007, 08:59 AM   #4
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you are just centering on food at the moment, because you want to lose....stay at a good number of calories....I was the same way...now i eat without counting.... because for me this way works
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Old 04-10-2007, 09:08 AM   #5
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That's exactly it! Food is the center of my universe! Or, counting food is....

Ritz...it was your thread that actually made me "pen" what I had been wondering about. I was going to ask in your thread but it didn't really seem to fit and I didn't want to hijack.

Like I said...I don't think I'm becoming an anorexic...but I can certainly see what a very slippery slope it is! To me, until now, it has always been a very judgemental "What could they POSSIBLY be thinking?!" but now I know exactly what they are thinking and feeling. Now I can truly empathize.
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Old 04-10-2007, 09:12 AM   #6
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Tricia, it's funny you posted this because I am experiencing exactly the same thing. My weight loss has slowed way down, and to compensate I am bringing my calories way down. I started at around 1600...but felt OK up to about 1800. Yesterday, I had 1230 cals and felt like it was too much and I could have cut something out. I've been around 1100-1200 cals for probably about 3 weeks now - a few days higher, a few days lower, but averaging around 1200 cals per day according to Fitday. Perhaps I should do the same as you, push myself up to around 1400 or so, and up my exercise (which has become almost non-existent lately!!). I don't want to become obsessed, which I fear is starting to happen.
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Old 04-10-2007, 10:35 AM   #7
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Hi Tricia,

I understand what you're saying. Although I havent been counting calories, the scales can become an obsession for me...and fluctuations of one or two pounds cause an automatic response to cut back more even though I am eating on-plan. Planned off-plan special occasions also cause me some distress as I start feeling like I've cheated and messed everything up. I think part of this comes from my perfectionist tendencies and the need to be in control. From what I've heard, control is one of the main issues with anorexics.....so, yeah...I could see myself losing perspective if I'm not careful.
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Old 04-10-2007, 10:38 AM   #8
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I think sometimes when you have to lose weight and you're just getting started, you HAVE to obsess a little bit. I can see how it could become a way of life, though, and then become a problem. I guess that's why we have to stay connected so that we keep making good, healthy choices and not just weight loss choices.
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Old 04-10-2007, 10:44 AM   #9
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Hi guys! I found this thread fascinating, and while I have absolutely NOTHING to contribute, I'll lighten things up with a joke I regularly make:

I tried to be anorexic once, but I was hungry by lunchtime...!

Oh, terrible, I know! Thanks for the interesting thread!

Heather
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Old 04-10-2007, 10:49 AM   #10
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Oh man, the first week I went to calorie counting I hadn´t lost a pound and I was feeling down. I remember one day I only had 250 calories left for my snack AND dinner. I got so frustrated I started crying. That was when my boyfriend told me that maybe I wasn´t ready for that plan yet.

I still don´t think I am. Good luck.
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