This thought crossed my mind as I was driving home last night and after really thinking about it, itís sad but true. Iíve been having horrible problems overcoming my need to just eat, eat, eat. I canít get a grip on food controlling me. (I know itís ultimately me deciding to eat the food.) Somehow in my thinking it made me realize that my unwillingness to give up food (or to at least eat sensibly and in decent proportions) is putting food at a higher priority over my children. At that point I realized I canít let my love for food control my life and keep me from getting healthier and living the life I want to live.
For the past few months, Iíve just been in a funk and have seen my future as a fat woman, not a healthy person. After having that thought, I can see myself as being a healthy person and not spending my next few years fat and miserable.
From now on each time I want to start just pigging out Iím going to remind myself that I love my kids more than I love food and they are worth more to me than all the good, scrumptious food in the world.
I can only hope this is finally the thing that will help me to turn my wagon around and get it going in the right direction.
Just a quick update on the kiddos (for those that wanna know): Lilly has been loving head start. She's really been thriving and can now write her name, colors great and is really looking forward to next year. William, now 3, is also doing well. He has quite the imagination on him. He's into a boot phase right now and loves to wear his cowboy boots with everything. Nate is now 7 months old. He babbles all the time, sits up for long periods and is scooting around. No words yet. Chris is doing well in school. He hasn't had to have his ADHD medication adjusted in many months and will actually be going off them for a bit in the summer so he can see how they help him and to see if he can function without them. Jeff lost his job a month or so ago and has been staying home with the boys, working on his motorcycle and enjoying all the extra time with the kiddos.
Here's a couple of pics of the kids at a recent fashion show.