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Old 04-04-2007, 12:41 PM   #1
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Unhappy I Love food more than my kids

This thought crossed my mind as I was driving home last night and after really thinking about it, itís sad but true. Iíve been having horrible problems overcoming my need to just eat, eat, eat. I canít get a grip on food controlling me. (I know itís ultimately me deciding to eat the food.) Somehow in my thinking it made me realize that my unwillingness to give up food (or to at least eat sensibly and in decent proportions) is putting food at a higher priority over my children. At that point I realized I canít let my love for food control my life and keep me from getting healthier and living the life I want to live.
For the past few months, Iíve just been in a funk and have seen my future as a fat woman, not a healthy person. After having that thought, I can see myself as being a healthy person and not spending my next few years fat and miserable.
From now on each time I want to start just pigging out Iím going to remind myself that I love my kids more than I love food and they are worth more to me than all the good, scrumptious food in the world.

I can only hope this is finally the thing that will help me to turn my wagon around and get it going in the right direction.

Just a quick update on the kiddos (for those that wanna know): Lilly has been loving head start. She's really been thriving and can now write her name, colors great and is really looking forward to next year. William, now 3, is also doing well. He has quite the imagination on him. He's into a boot phase right now and loves to wear his cowboy boots with everything. Nate is now 7 months old. He babbles all the time, sits up for long periods and is scooting around. No words yet. Chris is doing well in school. He hasn't had to have his ADHD medication adjusted in many months and will actually be going off them for a bit in the summer so he can see how they help him and to see if he can function without them. Jeff lost his job a month or so ago and has been staying home with the boys, working on his motorcycle and enjoying all the extra time with the kiddos.
Here's a couple of pics of the kids at a recent fashion show.


Halloween Goal

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Old 04-04-2007, 01:40 PM   #2
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Glad to hear from you Dawnyal. I am fairly new to this, so I don't think I've talked to you before. Remember that although you have to be kind of tough on yourself at times to keep going in the right direction... don't beat yourself up!! I'm looking forward to reading more from you.
This time, I'm going to be stronger, I'm not giving in. - Rudimental
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Old 04-04-2007, 01:56 PM   #3
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Dawnyal! Glad you're posting again. We miss you when you're gone. The kids look absolutely wonderful!

Food is like any other addiction, IMHO, only you must have it to survive. It soothes us, rewards us, makes us feel better--in the short term. It's your coping mechanism when things get tough. You don't love it; you use it. We wouldn't all have 100 lbs. to lose if we had a healthy relationship with food. Ultimately, you will develop the skills you need to cope with life without using food. I have no doubt about that.

The grand essentials of happiness are something to do, something to love and something to hope for - A. K. Chalmers.
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Old 04-04-2007, 03:12 PM   #4
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I second the wise Sheila's points... and I also want to add that you *cannot* come down on yourself this way. You don't love food more than you love your kids. your children < food.... no, it's not such a simple formula. You can't just lose the weight out of love for your children. The two are completely exclusive! Please don't look at it that way. My mother was obese for most of my life and has only recently lost the weight. I never, ever (even as I got older and understood the addiction factor) thought it had anything to do with her love, or lack of love, for me. It's not the correlation kids make.. it's just another thing to add to the list of self deprication.

That said... children are a huge motivator. I don't know this firsthand since I don't have them.... but look at those beautiful pictures! So cute!

You can do this Dawnyal.. we're all here for you and in the same position! It's so nice to see you again, btw.. I hope you stick around, even if you're not "dieting" as of right now. I always like to see your updates!
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Old 04-04-2007, 04:04 PM   #5
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I think it is brave to admit something like this. I am sure you love your kids more than anything. Once the connection is made that your obsession is harming you and in turn your children- and no one wants to harm those they love- then things have to change. Like any addiction... the first step is to admitting you have a problem and that you want help. Use that love to empower you. When that cheeseburger looks so good you could just crawl out of your skin for it- remember there are small someones who you are empacting more than your gut.

I am not losing weight for I have no intention of going out and finding it again.
A bat for each 10 lbs:
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Old 04-05-2007, 02:46 PM   #6
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Thank you all for your words of encouragement.

I know I love my kids and hubby more than anything but that thought just struck that I'm holding myself back. I want to do this for me so I can do the things I want to with them and it's getting harder and harder to play around with them without getting winded or have my knees kill me.

right now we are having family exercise time (usually walking to the cemetery and back) after dinner. If the weather's not cooperating, I've been popping in the walk away the pounds tapes. We may try some music and dancing tonight.
this time around has been so hard for me to get motivated and stay focused without going off on binge eating (and even some closet eating—which I've NEVER done before). This time I'm working more to changing some small behaviors. I'm not counting my calories or measuring anything out and instead focusing on eating healthy foods, even if it means overeating on healthy right now. I don't want weight loss to be the main focus in my life and devote tons of time and energy to it. When I feel like I can get a better control and not feel like it's hopeless, I'll work more toward changing my eating patterns.

Halloween Goal

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Old 04-05-2007, 10:24 PM   #7
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Good luck Dawnyal. Kids are absolutely a powerful motivator and inspiration. Sounds like you've got the whole family on board.
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Old 04-06-2007, 03:29 PM   #8
if only she'd lose weight
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Good to see you back. I know you love your kids more than food. It's hard for everyone to focus sometimes. We are here for you!!

Thanks for sharing the pics, your kids are so cuuuute!

"It's never too late to be what you might have been." -George Eliot
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