Well, I finally faced the music on Saturday (actually, I faced the scale). I can honestly say that I've never been as heavy as I am right now. All I want right now is to just get back to where I was just a few short months ago. I've never gain weight back as fast as I did -- it was quite shocking to me. I'm not telling myself that I'm am trying once again. I just can't do that anymore. I'm telling myself to JUST DO IT. No excuses, no more analogies, no more woulda coulda shouldas. I messed up, big time. I've wasted time and set myself back by at least 6 months. Those are just my facts that I have to face and deal with. This wasn't just a setback for me -- somewhere along the way I just gave up. I didn't feel like I was; eating all of those yummy things felt good at the time. But now, I'm huffing just to walk and I have knees of an 80-year old, and I'm just 43. I just don't want to live the rest of my life like this, because I know that it's only going to get worse if I don't take control of myself. I admit that I'm not perfect and when it comes to losing weight, I'm certainly no expert. I admit to myself (and all of the Internet world) that I need help and motivation and support to lose this weight. I thought that I was so strong and brave and smart, that I could do this all by myself. I was wrong. I need help.
There. I finally said it. Okay.... Okay!
Having said all of that, I am in Day 2 of my program and I'm getting on well. I'm journalling, drinking my water and I'm exercising. Before I re-started my program, I started doing some simple (well not so simple for me) yoga, and it is really helping me and my body. I'm hoping to gain a different prospective on things, as well as to balance my yin with my yang.
I'm taking the time to write this out for all to see as my motivating factors for me to get the job done at long last. Thanks for putting up with my vent tonight.
308.6/was 272 just 4 months ago/150