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Realizations and Committing

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Old 03-09-2007, 11:52 AM   #1
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Lightbulb Realizations and Committing

I'm starting anew. I'm 33 years old and I weigh nearly 300 pounds. I was an athlete until I was about 25, when I went to graduate school and become the most sedentary person I knew. And here I am, with high blood pressure, unable to even run around the block, and desperately afraid each day that today is the day that my brain will stroke out or my heart will stop. A year ago, I thought I was having a heart attack. Pain, pressure, sweating. The whole deal. My fiance took me to the ER, they did all the tests, and ran a stress test. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. But since then, just every couple of months (sometimes more often), I have chest pain. It hurts. And I'm terrified.

I am 33 and I've finally found the love of my life, whom I'm marrying in October. I owe it to him and myself to recognize that I don't just have responsibility for myself anymore, and that I need to take care of myself for him now as well. I want to live a long life and have babies with this man, and I won't be able to do that unless I begin to eat more healthily and lose this weight.

I'm doing this because I want to live, and I am tired of carrying around the phone with me, just waiting to dial 911. I'm tired of being terrified that something will happen to my heart while I'm in the shower or while he's traveling on business, and he'll come home to find me. He lost his mother to breast cancer when she was just 43, and he just lost his father (age 53) to a brain aneurysm last year. I can't put him through the loss of yet another loved one. He deserves better than that. And so do I.

I guess I need to take my life back. And so I'm here, looking for a support network, hoping I can stick with it and maybe one day, I'll actually recognize the body I see in the mirror. I'm tired of hurting and aching and being afraid all the time that today is the day that my body will give out. I need to make a change. Diets confuse me, but I'm going to adjust my problematic relationship with food. Your stories inspire me. Thank you.
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Old 03-09-2007, 12:02 PM   #2
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Good for you for putting yourself out there and introducing yourself! This is such a great, motivating place. I hope you'll jump right in on the discussions.
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Old 03-09-2007, 12:04 PM   #3
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Hello Filmgrrl and to 3FC!

We're here for ya babe! Congrats on your decision to improve your health and your quality of life. It will be a long road but one well worth it. There will be slips and successes.. the important thing is that you are here now and you are holding yourself accountable for the sake of your body.

Start with baby steps and make small changes in your life. Start walking around the block-- do what you can. Start to incorporate healthy foods in your daily life. You don't need a complicated diet. You already know that fattening food and junk is bad for you-- cut back on it. Drink water... maybe start a journal for yourself with food intake and exercise.. track what you are eating, when you are eating it, how it made you feel... and so on.

Post often! We look forward to hearing from you...
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Old 03-09-2007, 01:08 PM   #4
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Talking Welcome, Welcome!

This is a great place to be! I have found that it is best to take things one day (sometimes one hour or one minute) at a time! It isn't always easy but it is always worth it. Know that every change, every healthy choice is a victory! Celebrate your decisions and your choices. I have read You on a Diet and follow many of those principles. However, by far the best choices I have made for myself is to journal every bite I put in my mouth, realizing that my motivation may flag, but my committment and determination are my choice and coming here for support can really make a difference! Enjoy the journey!
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Old 03-09-2007, 01:09 PM   #5
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Welcome! I'm looking forward to hearing from you in the posts.
This is an awesome place. I think you'll find what you need here. You deserve to feel good and you deserve to not have to worry about having heart problems. Way to go with that first step.
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Old 03-09-2007, 01:27 PM   #6
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I feel the same way I'm 46 and occasionally have chest pains and have gone so far as having a heart cath and they say everything is o.k. I think it is just stress. I need to loose about 100 lbs and that is overwelming. I know I need to break that down and not look at the big picture. With work, three teenagers, one going thru depression, my parents who I am the primary care giver for, I just never have time for me. I know I know the time is there but when I do get some down time I don't want to exercise, and I know I have to. Good luck on your journey!
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Old 03-09-2007, 01:35 PM   #7
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Glad to see you here, filmgirl! This is a great place and with strength, determination, and support you will be a very different you (on the outside) when October rolls around. What a great incentive!
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Old 03-09-2007, 01:37 PM   #8
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This is a great place to be.....
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Old 03-09-2007, 01:41 PM   #9
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That is great. Let the eating right, working out, and kicking butt begin
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Old 03-09-2007, 02:11 PM   #10
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You will not get better support any where in the world then right here. Stay with us... through the good times and bad. This place will be just one of the keys to your success.

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Old 03-09-2007, 02:17 PM   #11
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Hello,
I have found myself back to 257. How did this happen? I don't even remember in between 180 and 260 but I must have bought clothes in between 14 and 20...? How did I not know....

Well, I started today. You see, I'm no newbee to weight loss. I lost 70 pounds one summer before... so I should know how to do it right??? Well, it only took me about 2 years to decide to really do it.

Its all about what you eat and getting moving. One woman once told me "if it doesn't go here (mouth) it doesn't go there (hips). If that's so simple and obvious why is it so hard????

And, I feel personally, how can I be "so smart" and so successful, and even "Pretty" (for a fat girl) but I can't control what I shove in my mouth??? H

So today I am thinking... how does all this happen???
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Old 03-09-2007, 02:19 PM   #12
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Filmgirl that was such a heartfelt post. You brought tears to my eyes. I know exactly what you are saying. I have been in your position and not that long ago. I was the biggest worry wart in the world. I was so afraid of of heart attacks and strokes. And finally figured out that I don't have to live like that. That by taking action I can really do wonders for my health. You can do this, I know you can. You sound so very sincere. There IS a better and happier life for you, well within your grasp. Full of soooo much more joy and happiness and activity and sooo much less worries. Good luck to you on this incredible journey you're about to partake in. I really look forward to getting to know you. We are here for you 24/7.
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Old 03-09-2007, 02:24 PM   #13
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Welcome FilmGrrl,

You have found the best support network around. Just stick around and you'll see. I look forward to getting to know you!!!

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Old 03-09-2007, 06:54 PM   #14
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Filmgrrl -- WELCOME!! I know for me that it really helped when I realized I wanted something else more than I wanted that brownie. I wasn't saying NO to the brownie, but YES to me. Thanks for sharing!

SuperDocStock -- I've asked myself a million times how a smart girl like me could let herself weight nearly 300 pounds! I still don't really know, except that it was a combination of events over many years, including the belief that I couldn't lose the weight and keep it off so why try??

Luckily, I didn't wait to answer that question before I just started. Good luck!!
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Old 03-11-2007, 11:42 AM   #15
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FilmGrrl We're here for you!!

I hope to see you around! This community is wonderful, I'm so glad that you joined!! I can honestly say that I don't know where I would be without 3FC, so I make it a point to visit the site the same as I am committed to healthy eating and exercise.
YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!
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